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Ten Things Every Single Man Must Own.

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pvtmorriscsa
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I live in an apartment. What would I do with power tools?

Whenever I have my own place, however, I will get some.

Ok, then you can rightly assume the title "man". :D

And most likely national champs, this time around.

There's a little group of Maize and Blue men standing in their way. I guess we'll find out who is number 1 soon enough.

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Top 10 things every single man must own:

1. A penis.

2 and 3: testicles.

4: The knowledge that a turbocharged coffeemaker, $250 jeans and $300 shoes do not make one manly, quite the opposite. Especially the Swiffer.

5. The knowledge that chicks who dig girly-men are just lesbians who haven't come out of the closet.

6. The knowledge that real chicks dig manly men who wear burlap and barbed wire, and bathe in tubs of broken glass! Arr!

7. His own business, if he ever wants to get ahead in this world.

8. No rap albums.

9. A good ship by which to pillage and plunder.

10. A safe full of genuine bling.

Top 10 things every single man must own:

1. A penis.

2 and 3: testicles.

4: The knowledge that a turbocharged coffeemaker, $250 jeans and $300 shoes do not make one manly, quite the opposite. Especially the Swiffer.

5. The knowledge that chicks who dig girly-men are just lesbians who haven't come out of the closet.

6. The knowledge that real chicks dig manly men who wear burlap and barbed wire, and bathe in tubs of broken glass! Arr!

7. His own business, if he ever wants to get ahead in this world.

8. No rap albums.

9. A good ship by which to pillage and plunder.

10. A safe full of genuine bling.

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Top 10 things every single man must own:

1. A penis.

2 and 3: testicles.

4: The knowledge that a turbocharged coffeemaker, $250 jeans and $300 shoes do not make one manly, quite the opposite. Especially the Swiffer.

5. The knowledge that chicks who dig girly-men are just lesbians who haven't come out of the closet.

6. The knowledge that real chicks dig manly men who wear burlap and barbed wire, and bathe in tubs of broken glass! Arr!

7. His own business, if he ever wants to get ahead in this world.

8. No rap albums.

9. A good ship by which to pillage and plunder.

10. A safe full of genuine bling.

8 and 10 are contradictory

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  • 7 months later...

I own everything on the original list except the Swiss Army knife (got a Leatherman) and the Joy of Cooking. But the truth is I almost never use any of them, except maybe my couch, my lamb, and my underwear/shoes (well I guess that's 4 out of 10). I own a coffee maker, but get Starbucks more often than I brew. I own a swiffer, which only my girlfriend uses. I've used my Leatherman like twice - one of which I gave up and got a real screwdriver. I own $150 jeans, but I wear a suit during most days and beat up college-era clothes on weekends. I own 300 thread count sheets, but I have no idea what the difference is. And finally, the only things I ever cook are steak, eggs and bacon, and barbeque.

To be honest I was thinking really hard about what the only things that I actually absolutely need given my lifestyle, and these are the only material things (in the order of importance) I can think of:

1. Comfortable clothes + shoes

2. Media collection - Books, DVDs, Music, Games

3. A Basketball

4. Computer + Broadband

5. My own space - house, apartment, room, doesn't matter

Then there are things I enjoy but aren't really that essential:

6. Flat screen plasma TV

7. Cellphone + iPod

8. Comfortable couch

9. A big, sturdy table

10. A Grill

As for some of the things mentioned:

Guns I would prefer to own, but wouldn't really matter to me if I didn't (used to have one, but illegal in the country I live in right now). I got an electric screw driver which I used like, once, when I assembled my furnitures. Definitely don't see why I would ever need an entire collection. I jog and lift weights, but only for basketball (probably wouldn't work out otherwise unless I found another hobby that involve physicality). I converted all my CDs to digital a while back. And finally, I think Arnold is a goof ball (except as Conan or the Terminator).

Edited by Moebius
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http://msn.match.com/msn/article.aspx?arti...544657%3E1=6657

Am I reading this right? Because this is what I got out of it --

1) Make sure you have a good picture of yourself because the only thing you care about is the way you look and how others percieve the way you look. You could care less if the guy actually likes you, as long as he, his friends, your friends and everyone else thinks you look good -- YOU ARE GOOD. Superficial values are all that matter.

2) Trick people into thinking your taller because of #1

3) Make sure you let the guy know you listen to music about abuse of women so he knows your up to being abused yourself. Anything to feed your self-destructive impulses. Eninem especially. You want a man who want's to call you a whore, slut and physically abuse you. Nothing says "treat me like shit" then endorsing modern day rap music!

4) Make sure you intiate contact with the guy because anyone who shows a shred of interest in your is obviously a stalker, creepy guy or a rapist. You want someone who doesn't give a shit about you right? Yeah, and make sure you can say "UMMMMMMMM NO LOLOLOLOLOLOL!" to anyone who walks up and offers a meaningful healthy relationship!

5) Nothing says,"Get me drunk and take advantage of my whorish nature" then a 6 pack of beer already waiting for the random asshole you just picked up at the bar! Make sure it's something trendy too, because you always want to look trendy. Always.

6) Again, make sure you put trendy magazines in your bathroom to keep up that trendiness.

7) Business cards are cheap and easy to mass produced, your going to need 250 so you can hand them out to that many random guys who dry hump your out-of-control-drunk-ass at the club everynight.

8) When your man has a snoring problem, don't let him know that it bothers you, got behind his back and pretend like who don't care! That's the greatest and more effective way to have a relationship!

9) Have a straight male friend you can always count on to cry on his shoulder when all the random hot guys you meet abuse you in some way. Make sure you pick a guy who loves and cares about you so he will actually take time out of his day to put up with your bullshit in hopes that you'll come around actually say "yes" when he asks you out. Keep giving him false hope so he will do things for you and always treat you nice when you call him with cum on your face and tears in your eyes! Do this until this man kills himself, then find another one!

10) Last but not least -- you're a whore! Make sure you make this obvious to the random drunk who you just brought home from the bar by having a condom ready. Nothing says "I'm a shameless trendy slut" then having condoms ready for those "spontaneous fun of the bodily kind" moments. :rolleyes:

[Note: I'm being satirical here.]

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Oh good grief! Why do people feel compelled to hunt down laundry lists like this? Girls are attracted to CHARACTER, so it seriously doesn't matter at all what stuff you own. Just be cool and confident and you're good to go.

I am somewhat of a shy and reserved guy, and as such I have a difficult time with dating. So being an information geek, I have been doing some research on the internet for ideas, and information pertaining to the subject.

Here is what you need to do:

Stop being "shy and reserved." Talk to every hot girl that you see. (I know, it's harder than it sounds!) Try experimenting for a day by saying "Hi, I'm conducting an experiment to become more confident talking to women. Thank you for participating!" to every girl you see. Social skills are really like anything else: they take practice. Sometimes I like to think of dealing with girls as the best gambling game ever. You can play as much as you want (there are 3 Billion girls in the world that you can talk to), if you get shut down you don't loose anything, and the more you try it the better you get. This covers the being cool part.

Be yourself. Seriously I used to hate hearing this advice but one day it just clicks and you "get it." Hint: when you are being shy you are not being yourself. I guess maybe the best way to explain this is with the Army recruiting slogan "Be All You Can Be." I'm guessing if you're an Objectivist you have a lot going for you, and a heck of a lot to offer women. So when you talk to women keep that in mind. Basically, you are the Prize-- act like it. This covers the being confident part.

Finally, have high standards. Only offer to hang out again with the girls you meet if they are both attractive and have their lives together. If you connect with a girl it should be because she really is special so she deserves to feel that way. Not only does having standards make you a lot more attractive to girls, but this is also key to avoid becoming a worthless playboy.

So, in summary: cultivate good character, be cool, and be confident.

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  • 5 weeks later...
Oh good grief! Why do people feel compelled to hunt down laundry lists like this? Girls are attracted to CHARACTER, so it seriously doesn't matter at all what stuff you own. Just be cool and confident and you're good to go.

Character is obviously the most important, but hardly the only criteria. Are you attracted to girls based solely on their character?

Stop being "shy and reserved." Talk to every hot girl that you see. (I know, it's harder than it sounds!) Try experimenting for a day by saying "Hi, I'm conducting an experiment to become more confident talking to women. Thank you for participating!" to every girl you see.

Huh? You've actually done this before I assume?

Personally I think you'll probably be better off with just a "Hi, how's it going?"

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Oh good grief! Why do people feel compelled to hunt down laundry lists like this? Girls are attracted to CHARACTER, so it seriously doesn't matter at all what stuff you own. Just be cool and confident and you're good to go.

Bullshit. I'm cool and confident and women won't touch me with a ten foot long pole.

Stop being "shy and reserved." Talk to every hot girl that you see. (I know, it's harder than it sounds!) Try experimenting for a day by saying "Hi, I'm conducting an experiment to become more confident talking to women. Thank you for participating!" to every girl you see. Social skills are really like anything else: they take practice. Sometimes I like to think of dealing with girls as the best gambling game ever. You can play as much as you want (there are 3 Billion girls in the world that you can talk to), if you get shut down you don't loose anything, and the more you try it the better you get. This covers the being cool part.

Knock out the ones who aren't dying of AIDs, aren't living in porverty in the Third World where you'll never get to them, you don't think are physically attractive, who are physically attractive but pyschologically messed up, who actually share your values....

The number gets small really fast and your odds shrink. The house always wins.

Finally, have high standards. Only offer to hang out again with the girls you meet if they are both attractive and have their lives together. If you connect with a girl it should be because she really is special so she deserves to feel that way. Not only does having standards make you a lot more attractive to girls, but this is also key to avoid becoming a worthless playboy.

So, in summary: cultivate good character, be cool, and be confident.

This I can agree with, chances are the special girl will probally be so out of reach you're going to have to fight the epic final battle to get to her in the first place -- like Princess Zelda.

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  • 11 months later...

Wow that (original article) was one of the most horrendous things I have ever read.

:dough:

I am surprised they didn't have a number 11-get a lobotomy, men dont like chicks who think too much.

Gah!

Great reply Mammon-I really liked it.

Pam

http://msn.match.com/msn/article.aspx?arti...544657%3E1=6657

Am I reading this right? Because this is what I got out of it --

1) Make sure you have a good picture of yourself because the only thing you care about is the way you look and how others percieve the way you look. You could care less if the guy actually likes you, as long as he, his friends, your friends and everyone else thinks you look good -- YOU ARE GOOD. Superficial values are all that matter.

2) Trick people into thinking your taller because of #1

3) Make sure you let the guy know you listen to music about abuse of women so he knows your up to being abused yourself. Anything to feed your self-destructive impulses. Eninem especially. You want a man who want's to call you a whore, slut and physically abuse you. Nothing says "treat me like shit" then endorsing modern day rap music!

4) Make sure you intiate contact with the guy because anyone who shows a shred of interest in your is obviously a stalker, creepy guy or a rapist. You want someone who doesn't give a shit about you right? Yeah, and make sure you can say "UMMMMMMMM NO LOLOLOLOLOLOL!" to anyone who walks up and offers a meaningful healthy relationship!

5) Nothing says,"Get me drunk and take advantage of my whorish nature" then a 6 pack of beer already waiting for the random asshole you just picked up at the bar! Make sure it's something trendy too, because you always want to look trendy. Always.

6) Again, make sure you put trendy magazines in your bathroom to keep up that trendiness.

7) Business cards are cheap and easy to mass produced, your going to need 250 so you can hand them out to that many random guys who dry hump your out-of-control-drunk-ass at the club everynight.

8) When your man has a snoring problem, don't let him know that it bothers you, got behind his back and pretend like who don't care! That's the greatest and more effective way to have a relationship!

9) Have a straight male friend you can always count on to cry on his shoulder when all the random hot guys you meet abuse you in some way. Make sure you pick a guy who loves and cares about you so he will actually take time out of his day to put up with your bullshit in hopes that you'll come around actually say "yes" when he asks you out. Keep giving him false hope so he will do things for you and always treat you nice when you call him with cum on your face and tears in your eyes! Do this until this man kills himself, then find another one!

10) Last but not least -- you're a whore! Make sure you make this obvious to the random drunk who you just brought home from the bar by having a condom ready. Nothing says "I'm a shameless trendy slut" then having condoms ready for those "spontaneous fun of the bodily kind" moments. :thumbsup:

[Note: I'm being satirical here.]

Edited by pam
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