What to tell religious parents

[Betsy]

I have a lot of experience dealing with religious people and I don't hide that I'm an atheist, but I don't make a big deal about it either.

I don't raise the issue, but when someone else does -- for instance they invite me to worship with them, etc. -- I simply reply with a polite, "No, thank you."

In general, I accentuate the positive. While I am not interested in religion, I emphasize how important morality is to me. I say I prefer to ground my values on reality, rather than faith.

And then I wait for the curious to ask how I managed to do that.

[I. Kant]

Ask if God could create a rock so large that not even He himself could lift it. If they say yes, then He couldn't have created a rock He couldn't have lifted, therefore not Allmighty. If yes, the He is not powerful enough to lift said rock, therefore not all mighty.

[AshRyan]

Ask if God could create a rock so large that not even He himself could lift it. If they say yes, then He couldn't have created a rock He couldn't have lifted, therefore not Allmighty. If yes, the He is not powerful enough to lift said rock, therefore not all mighty.

Of course, that argument isn't going to work with any committed Christian...but you were probably joking.

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Re-Belief in god (or about god)

Christianitys' belief in god is centered around its fear. This fear is not usually noticed by its followers because of the thick layer of guilt. Belief in god requires an emotional dynamic of guilt. My view of faith in god is different than a belief in god. True faith in god does not come from my "blind" faith in another man. In other words, if i believe that what a "man" (who doesn't claim to be a form of god) is telling me that god is (what he thinks god is), then my faith is in the man, and the belief about god is the belief not the faith.

In other words, christianity believes (blindly) what man tells "us", so we have faith in the "authorities".

In order to have faith, people need to have an image of a 'personal' god or a substitute. For most people, this means believing that their religious teacher is a form of god. For some people, that do not believe god has a human form, the image of the sun (or, more accurately, an image of shining white light) is taken to represent the personal god.

Ultimately, it does not matter which image is taken to represent god. All that matters is the person is inspired to live a life of goodness as best he can.

For me, my goal (right now in life) is to find a faith in myself (first) and then i can find faith in god (not corresponding to what man says i need to do or believe) , A TRUE FAITH IN GOD. Then i can be happy within my place of the cosmos of creation in my spiritual evolution and journey towards NIRVANA!

The solution, of course, is to apply your newly found philosophy to the situation! Remember what Objectivism teaches about love. You do not truly love something unless you love it for a reason, i.e. there is something you value about it.

If you still love your friends and family after your change in philosophy, there must be something you appreciate about them, so you could start by letting them know what exactly it is. If your friendship is to continue, it is to continue on the basis of the values you gain from it, so it is important to make clear both to yourself and to your friends what exactly the basis of your friendship is. It is also important to make clear the extent of your friendship, for example by being honest about your disagreements.

While most Americans consider themselves religious, many of them pay little more than lip service to their religion. They do not want to call themselves atheists because that term has negative connotations, but it would never occur to them to use religion as the main guide to their lives. For example, the Sermon on the Mount encourages people to be poor and to "love" their enemies, but it hardly ever crosses the mind of a conservative Christian American to "kill two birds with one stone" by donating his air-conditioned home and his SUV to al-Qaeda.

I do not see a problem with befriending a person who is nominally religious but otherwise quite selfish. Over time, you might even explain the contradictions of his religion to him and win him over to Objectivism. But you should begin this process by showing him how the principles of his religion are bad for his life ("I just had a conversation with a European guy who thought that Jesus wouldn't like Americans because...") rather than by just declaring, "I don't believe in God and I think anyone who does is irrational." If you bluntly attack an idea he identifies with, you have a lost cause, but if you appeal to his self-interest and he is selfish enough, then you have a good chance of convincing him.

You might also have superficial friendships with people who have some limited altruistic tendencies, but such friendships will be just that: superficial--and limited by the extent to which your friend is not altruistic. All value you gain from a friendship qua friendship stems from the self-interest of your friend. If a person doesn't like himself, there is no reason for you to like him, either.

(I hardly know anything about the Sikh religion, so I gave Christian examples, but I suppose the underlying ideas are more or less applicable to dealing with all religions.)

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Christianitys' belief in god (or about god) is centered around its fear. This fear is not usually recognized because of its thick layer of guilt. Belief in god (or about god) requires an emotional dynamic of guilt. My view of faith in god is different than that of belief in god (or about god).

In other words when a "man" tells me what god is then my faith is in the man and my belief is about god. We blindly believe the "authorities" of christianity and so therefore our faith is in the man not in god.

There are 3 types of faith:

1) Faith in another person

2) Faith in myself

3) Faith in god

In order to have faith, people need to have an image of god or a substitute. For most people, this means believing that their religious teacher is a form of god. For some people that believe god does not have a human form, the image of the sun (or, more accurately, an image of a white shining light) is taken to represent a personal god.

Ultimately, it does not matter which image is taken to represent god. All that matters is that a person is inspired to live a life of goodness as best he can.

For me, my goal in life (right now) is to find faith in myself first. Then i can find a faith in god. Next i can be happy within my place in the cosmos of creation towards my spiritual evolutionary journey towards NIRVANA!

As far as my mom goes I have to tell her that I don't believe in god because I am agreeing with her by not only by my silence but when I go to church whenever I go home.  The hardest part about this is it's not just my parents but my grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, brother, sister, and the priest that know about it.  I don't think a simple "I don't agree with you" will go very well but it is all I can say since reason wont work.  Before I graduated High School I told her that my goal in life was to be happy and she told me that it does always work that way (this was before I even knew about objectivism).  Since then I explained to her why sacrafice to others is not needed to be happy and she said that god wants us to make sacrafices.  For now I tell her that I'm trying to find the truth in it.  Since she believes god is the truth she understands and it has worked so far.  Is it right to lie to my family and go to church with them because I don't want them to hate me?  I don't go home very much and go to church even less..... I've just realized I go for the worst reason: because I don't want to hurt their feelings.  I can't allow their feelings to make decisions for me and I have to tell them that too.  Actually thats probably the only thing they will understand since you are supposted to accept god on your own without being forced.  I'm going to go think about this more.

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I was a very spiritual and 'devout' christian from the time i was 9. Im now 19. After having many spiritual experiences of intense happiness and "closeness" with God, through his son Christ Jesus, I have started to realize that i was only using these experiences as a cover up for my hurts, pains and rejections in life. These "experiences" grew lesser and lesser in their intenseness and now im at the point where i, myself am going to have to deal with reality (in a real way).

I have also started to notice that Christianity is motivated by fear. This fear is usually not easily detected because of it thick layer of guilt that they put you under. I still believe in god though. You might ask HOW? Well, let me explain. I believe in god, but i will not 'blindly' put my faith in these christian authorities who tell me what to believe. In other words, they could tell me anything, and as long as my 'blind' faith is still active then i will be gullible and believe, without even caring to see if it is actually true. In this case (which is the case with all christian followers), their faith is in the man, and the BELIEF is in god. My view of faith is different than belief in god (or about god). Belief in god (or about god) requires an emotional dynamic of guilt.

There are three "types" of Faith:

1) Faith in another person

2) Faith in myself

3) Faith in god

In order to have faith people need to have an image of what god is (and this needs to represent a 'personal' god. Christianity doesn't have a personal god. Prayer doesn't work (by own experience). For most people, they believe that their religious teacher is a form of god. For people who don't like to believe that god has a human form, the image of the sun (or, more accurately an image of a white shining light is used to represent the personal god).

For me my goal in life (right now) is to find faith in myself, and faith faith in god later on in life. Then i can become happy within my place of the cosmos of creation, towards my spiritual evolution and journey towards NIRVANA!

Ultimately it doesn't matter which image is used. All that matters is that the person is inspired to live a life of goodness as best he can.

Oh, its nice to see i'm not the only one who has struggled witrh this...

i was brought up mormon... and for 24 years i was very devout... well, i shouldn't say that... i talked the talk and walked the walk and convinced myself thats God and Christ and Joe Smith were all the truth and the way to happiness...

two years ago i was married in a mormon temple... and that night i went home and decided it was all a crock...

Now my mother is still completely devout, and lets me know that i'd be happier if i only started coming back to church with her...  i just roll my eyes and nod my head... but she knows the seriousness of my convictions, and mostly respects my choices...

luckily the people in my local ward have been pretty normal about it... i don't go telling them all that i think their dogmas and beliefs to be absurd, i don't feel the need to start anytype of argument... but i don't allow people to think i still am mormon in any way... if they ask me, i let them know what i now believe...

there is no need to be rude about it... i say tell your parents, let them know what you believe... they might not understand, and might react badly... but that is their choice...