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If The Person You Love Loves Another, Is It Moral To Settle For Someon

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I would argue "no."

In Francisco's case, he was aware that Dagny was in a relationship with Rearden, and as such, was able to rationally accept that as her personal decision. Despite however much he may love Dagny above any and all other women in the world, I think that he has every moral right to still maximize his own happiness through, if he chooses, "settling" for someone else.

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Not that I disagree, but just imagine trying to explain that to the woman that he's "settling" for.

???

Telling the woman would be callous and is ultimately unnecessary. Besides..unless the man in question told the woman himself the woman probably wouldn't believe anyone who told her that Man X was settling for her (moroever, the person telling the woman that would naturally have his motives called into question and rightly so).

-E

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???

Telling the woman would be callous and is ultimately unnecessary. Besides..unless the man in question told the woman himself the woman probably wouldn't believe anyone who told her that Man X was settling for her (moroever, the person telling the woman that would naturally have his motives called into question and rightly so).

-E

Hmmm...as long as he would choose to marry a person based on what he values, I don't think he would be settling.

Here is my question: what if he marries someone else that he falls in love with after Dagny, and then she becomes available again. Would it be wrong for him to divorce his new wife and pursue her?

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If say D'Anconia was to love someone else and marry her, even though he loves Dagny the most, is he doing anything immoral?
I'd say yes. You're supposed to marry the person who epitomizes your values or something (right?) and to whatever extent Francisco thinks his ideal woman should prefer Galt over him (to think otherwise seems a severe fault,) I not only think it'd be immoral for him to marry someone who was inferior to Dagny, I don't even think he should settle for Dagny.

Despite however much he may love Dagny above any and all other women in the world, I think that he has every moral right to still maximize his own happiness through, if he chooses, "settling" for someone else.
Would marrying a second-place woman be maximizing his happiness?

Here is my question: what if he marries someone else that he falls in love with after Dagny, and then she becomes available again. Would it be wrong for him to divorce his new wife and pursue her?
Would he have told his wife of this possibility before the marriage? If he did, it'd be questionable as to whether he should have married her (as opposed to non-marriage relationships) and if he didn't, that'd be awful sleazy.
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If say D'Anconia was to love someone else and marry her, even though he loves Dagny the most, is he doing anything immoral?
Since you're dealing with a hypothetical, I don't know whether you mean "assuming it was otherwise D'Anconia and Dominique" (she was on vacation). Here's the "yes" answer -- yes, if he knew that he could not accept the fact that Dagny did not want him, and that he would make Dominique and himself miserable. In other words, "getting the woman of your dreams" is not a rational absolute value, nor is "getting the job of your dreams", and especially it is not rational to stop living if you can't have "the perfect life". The proper goal is "the best life you can get".
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Would marrying a second-place woman be maximizing his happiness?

Well, one must always accept reality, no?

If D'Anconia rationally accepts the reality as he sees it, that is, Dagny being in love with Rearden or Galt, and not in him, I argue that his "second-place woman" is in fact his "first-place" in what he is capable of getting.

Which of these two will bring an individual more happiness: marrying a woman whom one regards as not THE BEST, but pretty close, or refusing to marry and live life forever lonely?

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I suppose the answer depends on whether Ms. Perfect is ever met :lol:

I can understand the "best of the available" idea in terms of dating, but marriage (at the least) implies a permanent relationship. If it were deemed acceptable for d'Anconia to marry someone less than his ideal, then Sherry's question of what to do when Ms. Perfect does show up is relevant.

Here's the "yes" answer -- yes, if he knew that he could not accept the fact that Dagny did not want him, and that he would make Dominique and himself miserable. In other words, "getting the woman of your dreams" is not a rational absolute value, nor is "getting the job of your dreams", and especially it is not rational to stop living if you can't have "the perfect life". The proper goal is "the best life you can get".
But Francisco did accept Dagny's decision, and unless the nigh-ideal girl was threatening to leave him if he didn't marry her :read:I don't see how marrying (as opposed to dating) would be the difference between misery and the best possible.

By "absolute" you mean all-or-nothing? Otherwise I don't see why getting the woman of your dreams would not be a rational absolute value.

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I thought about this when thinking about Dagny's relationships with Rearden, D'Anconia, and Galt. If say D'Anconia was to love someone else and marry her, even though he loves Dagny the most, is he doing anything immoral?

Well, really, it depends on whether you value their happiness. If you value their happiness, which is a prerequisite for love, then if they truly love someone else, and that someone else is better, then you should let them go.

If you'd ever read Ayn Rand's earlier novels, such as "The Husband I Bought" you'd know.

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Who say's that he would be settling if he ended up marrying someone else? At the time Dagny was his highest and she was the highest woman represented in the story.... But does it necassarily follow that she had to be the highest in that fictional story. Miss Rand couldn't show billions of people and the law of averages states that there must be just as worthy as Dagny was to Francisco he would just have to search for her or more likely than not he might even find here in the gultch.

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I suppose the answer depends on whether Ms. Perfect is ever met :lol:

I can understand the "best of the available" idea in terms of dating, but marriage (at the least) implies a permanent relationship. If it were deemed acceptable for d'Anconia to marry someone less than his ideal, then Sherry's question of what to do when Ms. Perfect does show up is relevant.

This applies to every relationship, ever. Its always going to possible that you end up meeting someone you prefer to your current partner, and you're always going to have to cross that bridge when you come to it.

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But Francisco did accept Dagny's decision, and unless the nigh-ideal girl was threatening to leave him if he didn't marry her :lol: I don't see how marrying (as opposed to dating) would be the difference between misery and the best possible.
Which is why I said if. If this was a question about the novel, then we're just asking "what happened in the book?". If the question is general and not specific to the book, then I explained the kind of conditions under which "settling" would be immoral.
By "absolute" you mean all-or-nothing?
Yes, that's what it means.
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