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Admitting Your Mistakes

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Hi Everyone!

I am new to this forum and love the kind of posts I am getting to read here, totally inspiring. I have been an avid thinker and researcher in the field of self-improvement and love to motivate anyone who is in need of it.

Anyway, the first discussion I want to start here is about "Admitting Your Mistakes". Mistakes have often been dubbed as the stepping-stones to success. And it's famously said you aren't going anywhere if you aren't making any mistakes. We all make mistakes both in our professional as well as personal life. And admitting them helps us making the right decisions. And you start to find faster solutions, better answers and boost up your creatively.

We all know that admitting our mistakes and taking responsibility for them is a major step towards self-realization. By accepting our mistakes we learn new things and come to know where we have been going wrong. That in turn helps us to stop repeating them.

Now my question is, how many of us are willing to admit our mistakes? How many of us can actually accept each and every mistake we commit and take responsibility for it?

And also do you think sharing your mistakes with others will help you overcome them better?

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How many of us can actually accept each and every mistake we commit and take responsibility for it?

I don't know what you mean by "us." Are you taking a poll, or is that a rhetorical question?

Identifying an error is an instance of recognizing a fact of reality. That is a function of rationality, which is a virtue in a selfish person.

And also do you think sharing your mistakes with others will help you overcome them better?

Which "others"? In what circumstances? For what purpose?

Yes, discussing certain kinds of mistakes with certain individuals in certain circumstances can be very helpful in correcting the mistake and improving my life. For example, if I make a mistake in using my computer and it locks up, I can learn from describing my error to a customer service representative.

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I have been an avid thinker and researcher in the field of self-improvement and love to motivate anyone who is in need of it.

I do not understand:

- Are you saying you advocate loving people to motivate them?

- Are you saying you advocate loving people because they need it -- even if they don't deserve love?

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I do not understand:

- Are you saying you advocate loving people to motivate them?

- Are you saying you advocate loving people because they need it -- even if they don't deserve love?

You're confusing the word "love" way too much here. What I meant was I like motivating people when they are down. I love to help people believe in themselves and have faith in their abilities. So if someone I know is in need of some motivation to move ahead, I do not hesitate. That is what I really meant. Sorry if you confused it for somethin else.

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Now my question is, how many of us are willing to admit our mistakes? How many of us can actually accept each and every mistake we commit and take responsibility for it?

And also do you think sharing your mistakes with others will help you overcome them better?

This is actually something of very practical interest to me lately. I have a guy that works for me who is a generally good worker but has a great deal of difficulty admitting to mistakes. For example, while carrying a fairly heavy piece of equipment with another guy, he slipped and dropped it on the other fellow's ankle. Fortunately he was not seriously hurt, but what was telling was that he(the one who dropped it) immediately started blaming the one who had it on his ankle. "YOU WERE WALKING TOO FAST!" and so forth. None of the accusations he made were actually true. I consider it to be a fairly honest mistake and if I had dropped it I would have helped remove the item and then apologized for dropping it.

So I am curious what causes that inability. My initial thought was that it was a matter of pride. In that they have too much. That's what people usually say when someone can't admit when they wrong. After some reflection though, I think its related more to a lack of pride. Pride as derived from your accomplishments. So in other word, if you are proud of the life you've led, if you do make a mistake, you think of it as the exception to the rule and almost enjoy it in the sense that it's an oppurtunity to learn. If you have not accomplished many of your values, I think it would be more difficult because on some level you blame yourself and your tired of doing that. This might explain why this is more common in younger people. At least that's what I've observed. Not that I don't know plenty of old people who lack pride, just that it seems that you run into sophistry more often the further down you go in age-ostensibly because you haven't been around long enough to accomplish many of your goals rather then an improper moral base. Which leads me to my question. You mentioned being a researcher in the field. Can you tell me if this is more common with younger people and also if you notice any differences in the reasons for it between different age groups? I suspect that older people with a lack of pride will tend to have their consistent poor decisions result in it whereas with younger people will have it because they're inexperienced. So if you have noticed any general differences between them either it the way this problem manifests itself or quantitatively between then I'd love to hear about it. Let me know what you think.

Best Regards,

Gordon

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You're confusing the word "love" way too much here.

Miscommunication! I misunderstood your original statement to mean: "the field of self-improvement and love," a field which you use in order to motivate people. In other words, a "sensitive" approach. Now I see you were trying to say "... the field of self-improvement[,] and [I] love to motivate people ...." (My clarifying additions in square brackets.)

So, in part, the miscommunication came from my mistake. I admit it.

Does that illustrate your point?

Edited by BurgessLau
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Does that illustrate your point?

"Eats, shoots, and leaves?"

Anyway, it's pretty much imperative to admit your mistakes to someone else if it affects them in some way, but randomly admitting your flaws to strangers is self-depreciation and a sign of near-neurotic lack of self-esteem.

Where I work, it's very important that you "own" any errors you make: it's the only way to fix them. Everyone makes a mistake sooner or later, and no one is much bothered by it, so you just fix it and go on.

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Where I work, it's very important that you "own" any errors you make: it's the only way to fix them. Everyone makes a mistake sooner or later, and no one is much bothered by it, so you just fix it and go on.

It's the same way where I work. Actually, the guy I replaced was fired for making that exact mistake. Everytime he made a mistake, instead of owning up to it he would try to cover it up. Then when a user went to complain to my boss, it would make him look bad because he didn't even know there was a problem. He did that one too many times and finally got canned.

I've made a few mistakes at work, and as long as my boss is made aware of the problem then I won't get reprimanded. So yes, at least at my job it's very important to own up to your mistakes. Otherwise you might lose your job like the guy before me. ;)

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There is a relationship between admitting mistakes and taking responsibility. This is a tentative thought, but I think there is a relationship between taking responsibility and a person's underlying view of the efficacy of action. The latter, in turn, is related to what one views as within one's power to change: one's view of the metaphysical vs. the man-made, if one uses one's own lifespan and ability as the context to decide which is which. I quote from a previous post on the subject.

I think that contextually-unchangable man-made facts must be viewed as metaphysical facts. Not that they are metaphysical facts; however, when viewed across the limited span of one's life (which is all that matters) some man-made facts require an attitude that is no different from metaphysical facts..

Ayn Rand starts her 1973 essay "The Metaphysical versus the Man-made" by quoting a prayer that goes:

This is certainly not a call to pragmatism; not a call to shrug and say: "Mine is not to question why, mine is but to do or die". However, after considering the facts, and considering the options over one's remaining lifetime, one must act.

If one identifies a problem as being caused by some force of nature, then one has to deal with it. One's inability to deal with it can be (wrongly) viewed as damaging to one's pride. On the other hand, if one identifies a problem as being caused by another person, then that other person can be blamed for one's plight.

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Can you tell me if this is more common with younger people and also if you notice any differences in the reasons for it between different age groups? I suspect that older people with a lack of pride will tend to have their consistent poor decisions result in it whereas with younger people will have it because they're inexperienced. So if you have noticed any general differences between them either it the way this problem manifests itself or quantitatively between then I'd love to hear about it.

That is a really good question, which is worth discussing about. There is definitely a difference when you talk about age groups. Older people are much wiser and tend to make less of "stupid mistakes", their mistakes are much of complex types. Where as younger people make mistakes because of lack of experience, like you pointed out. The urge to do something, which is exciting and new, leads them to try out things, which lands them with all types of mistakes. It is alright to make mistakes and learn from them, but making stupid mistakes, even after knowing the consequences which could arise, is definitely a no no.

Mistakes are a part of life, they happen regardless of your age. Since we come across new things, people and situations at every step of our life, it is really not possible to stop ourself from committing mistakes. When you get older you can avoid stupid mistakes but not mistakes overall.

I leave you guys with this excellent article by Scott Berkun, which discusses mistakes in detail:

http://www.scottberkun.com/essays/essay44.htm

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The essence of dishonesty is evading facts of reality -- including the fact that one needs to observe and think in order to understand the world. Stated positively, the essence of honesty is facing facts of reality.

An honest mistake is one made while looking and thinking about reality. An honest mistake is an opportunity, not a sin. An honest mistake is an opportunity for learning. A proud -- that is, morally amibitious -- man easily admits making mistakes. By doing so, he is also saying he is growing in his knowledge.

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That is a really good question, which is worth discussing about. There is definitely a difference when you talk about age groups. Older people are much wiser and tend to make less of "stupid mistakes", their mistakes are much of complex types. Where as younger people make mistakes because of lack of experience, like you pointed out. The urge to do something, which is exciting and new, leads them to try out things, which lands them with all types of mistakes. It is alright to make mistakes and learn from them, but making stupid mistakes, even after knowing the consequences which could arise, is definitely a no no.

Mistakes are a part of life, they happen regardless of your age. Since we come across new things, people and situations at every step of our life, it is really not possible to stop ourself from committing mistakes. When you get older you can avoid stupid mistakes but not mistakes overall.

I leave you guys with this excellent article by Scott Berkun, which discusses mistakes in detail:

http://www.scottberkun.com/essays/essay44.htm

Thanks, that was a good article. I especially liked dividing mistakes into 4 types. Very clarifying. I realize, of course, that mistakes can be made at any age. What I was wondering in particular, and may not have explained properly, was that it seemed that the ability to admit to mistakes was more common in older people. Do you find this to be accurate and, if so, have any oppinions as to why?

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Thanks, that was a good article. I especially liked dividing mistakes into 4 types. Very clarifying. I realize, of course, that mistakes can be made at any age. What I was wondering in particular, and may not have explained properly, was that it seemed that the ability to admit to mistakes was more common in older people. Do you find this to be accurate and, if so, have any oppinions as to why?

I do think the ability to admit mistakes is more common in older people. That's because older people are much more wise and know how to be responsible for their actions. Experience does play a major role here and the mistakes committed by the older generation are very much different from the younger. They know mistakes are a way to change what went wrong. Since correcting an error becomes more of a habit when you step into an older age.

Whereas the younger people feel that they haven't really done anything wrong and tend to blame it on others. That's because they still are getting to know the world around them. And a sort of an ego comes in between, which leads to denial more than admission.

Overall, again, I do not think age has to do majorly with the whole mistakes scenario. Even though the kinds of mistakes done are changed overtime, gradually with age, some mistakes cannot be avoided at any cost.

And when we talk about age, we can look at two different mistakes, from two different perspectives, resulting in the same circumstance. For example, a young man might ram his car into a tree because he was drunk. Driving when your drunk is a mistake, ramming into the tree is an accident. Similarly an elderly man, who is very much wise, forgets his glasses and still goes ahead, drives and rams his car into a tree. Forgetting his glasses and ignoring it is a mistake, not ramming into the tree.

Now the point I'm trying to prove here is, people become wiser with age, but something’s just can't be evaded. The mistake might change but not the resulting consequences.

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