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What is it to live? We have spent so much time wondering about ourselves; what is life? Are we truly living? Are we spending ourselves out of the desire to achieve something that remains forever just beyond our reach? So many questions to answer; so many threads crossed in a complex maze from which you cannot exit and in a complex weave through which you can only dimly see. Perhaps we merely uphold our values because they are one thing of which we are sure. Do you agree with me? Our values –spent a little more each day. Your values become subject to reality. How far will your own precious brand of Metal stretch over the vast plains of barbarity? Tell me, what is it that your mind can conquer?

I have such enthusiasm for living at times, and at other points in my life I will embrace the darkness of death as a balm to the light which filters in through the cracks in my eyes to shine upon my mind. Thoughts creep away from the light; and the breaths suddenly stop. My hand upon the cheeks of stone statues; my mind killed by the suddenness of grief. “It was only one hour ago…looks like it always did.” What I am trying to say, is…eternity cannot be escaped. What will I be after I die? Energy –and the proof for this is so beautifully exquisite, is so evident in everything around me, that I do not fear the darkness of death as the end to my being. The thoughts will end; but I will go on. “The news that truly shocks, is the empty, empty page…I can’t handle this…” What is there left to say? That tie will always remain…and nothing can be forgotten. Minds are wedded in feeling, in thought, in action; that mass of cloud cannot obscure the tie of hands interlaced in a misty fog. Pieces of the mind are removed to be placed as stars in that darkness –and there is nothing that can displace those brilliantly shining bodies of fire and rock. They revolve constantly around each other; the energy between them is never lost.

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This is what a diary or pillow talk or a mental health counselor is for. I guess people feel more motivated to express themselves when they know they will have an audience.

But I will say there was some fairly decent writing in there. It was entertaining at times.

- Grant

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