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Overcoming A Fear

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As we know, humans have freewill of choosing ones actions- this is a necessity when deciding to confront your fears. To overcome a fear, you need to intentionally seek it out and confront it. Doing this will ease your anxiety and make the experience pleasurable(if it is that type of situational fear). This is the antithesis of what one feels during a state of terror: chronic worrying, restlessness, tightness.

You must remember though that not all fears should be approached directly, such as a fear of poisonous snakes. A more reasonable approach would be to gain knowledge on how to act if an encounter with a poisonous snake ever occurs. This situation is similar to a fear of death- you shouldnt kill yourself, but instead gain knowledge on the subject.

For the most part, however, fears are fairly easy to conquer directly, such as a fear of public speaking, for example. To confront this fear, one needs to find an appropriate place and time to do a public speaking presentation. Dont be discouraged if you are not a great public speaker initially. But the more often you perform this task, the more comfertable you will feel. Another example would be a fear of ham- approach a ham and look at it. To elevate the intensity of the confrontation, concentrate on the ham and then touch it. This will eventually ease your anxiety of ham.

While confronting a fear, most likely you will be frightened and feel intimidated, but you must fight through these emotions, as they are holding you back from completely enjoying your life. Realize that you can choose your actions regardless of the emotional state you are in, and fully commit to your goal of confronting the fear. Figure out when you are rationalizing so those thoughts dont find a way to control you.

Once you confront a fear for the first time and make it a pleasurable experience thereafter, not only will it be a load off of your shoulders, but it will also give you a great deal of confidence when dealing with your other fears.

The 'overcoming a fear' equation: If you have a fear of (fill in your fear), then you should seek out a reasonable time and opportunity to confront it.

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What do you mean?

I mean read forum description ...

"Basic questions for those new to the philosophy of Objectivism. All threads should be in the form of a question. Topics will be moved to other forums as necessary"

Elvis didn't do no drugs! (Penn & Teller reference)

(Mod's note: Okay, I've moved the thread to the "Psychology & Self-improvement sub-forum. -sN)

Edited by softwareNerd
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I want to add a quick thing to my thread:

You must say to yourself, "I am going to confront this fear, and I am going to conquer it." By doing this, it will ensure that you approach the situation with mental aggression and not passivity(just going through the motions). Concentrate on what you're doing, recognize the emotions youre feeling, and if you know how to judge objectively then stop deciding your actions based on your feelings, and start to use reason.

I will take you through a detailed description of a hypothetical situation where a man confronts his fear of a dark basement:

The man realizes the lamp in his bedroom isnt working properly any longer, and needs to get a new lamp he has stored in the basement. Right away, there are feelings of fear and anxiousness happening inside of him. He makes a courageous decision- as he admits to himself that this fear is driving him insane- when he says to himself, "I am going to confront this fear, and I am going to conquer it."

The man reaches the stairway of the pitch-dark basement, with a flashlight in his hand, knowing that there is no electricity hooked up down there except for a small lightbulb that hangs near the steps, barely allowing him to see those clearly. He starts to walk down the stairs, and through each step he takes the more fear that builds up inside of him, and the more his mind is telling him to sprint back upstairs. But he recognizes these as irrational desires and knows that if he gives in now, then this fear will continue to burden him. He chooses to walk into the "abyss".

His feet are touching the basement floor now, and takes a glance into the dark depths of this place. This is all it takes for his mind to start projecting frightening images of evil spirits and burglars hiding, waiting to consume him. He rationalizes for a second, trying to convince himself that he can get by without any lamp. But then he thinks objectively, as he remembers reading about emotions, and how they arent tools of cognition. He thinks to himself: "I can overcome this fear if I just walk through the basement right now. Thats it. Walk through. Forget your emotions. Get that lamp, even if the anxiety feels like its gonna kill you. Because in the end, there will be nothing to be afraid of any longer." So he chooses to walk further into the basement.

His steps are slow and careful, making sure not to run into anything, since all he has for light is a cloudy beam from the flashlight. These initial steps he takes, dont seem to bother him too much- that is, until he moves his eyes from the floor to straight ahead, now face to face with what has scared him his whole life: the unknown. He keeps his eyes steady on the blackness ahead, watching to see if a dead man's spirit appears into midair, or a gunman pops out from behind a cob-webbed couch. He is nearly shaking with terror, as he is almost anticipating something of unthinkable horror to happen. "Nothings' happening," he says in his head, with the fear of the dark basement subsiding a bit. Now he chooses to walk further in, still not sure what to expect.

His mind continues to be very alert, as he still somewhat anticipates a chilling event to happen. He steps over an old stuffed bear thats lying in his pathway, but when he does this he hears a distant but obvious sound that has come from the basement. He stands there like a deer in headlights, in shock, listening for the sound again. He thinks: "Dont run back upstairs. Confront this fear. This is the only way that you are going to overcome it." He hears something- a different sound, a hissing noise. The man stands there boldly, preparing himself for combat, if needed. He sees no one though, and he believes he has recognized the sound: its the water heater. Not a supernatural entity, not a man wanting to decapitate him, but it was the water heater. It was the water heater the entire time, but his emotions tried to convince him that it was something else. The man marches on, this time a little more assured of his surroundings.

A few more steps and he notices the lamp he intended to bring upstairs. He bends down to pick it up and hears a soft but distinct noise. He wasnt sure if it was an external sound, or just in his mind or body like a ringing of the ears. He tried not to let it bother him and began walking calmly to the stairs. Then the man stopped- he took a glimpse all throughout the basement at that point, only to realize that there was nearly no desire anymore that was trying to force him to run away. A little apprehension, maybe, but for the most part he felt a sense of serenity. He thought to himself, "It would make very little difference to me if this basement were completely lit, or if it remains in the dark state it is in now. I conquered the fear, therefore, the fear is nonexistent now. "

A couple days had passed and the man needed some old clothes that were stored in the basement, which he planned to sell to a clothing store. But it was late at night, meaning it would be very dark in the basement and he was wondering how he would feel if he went down there again. He couldve put off going into the basement until tomorrow when it would be lit, since he didnt intend to sell the clothes until then anyways, but he chose to go down now.

He turned on the stairway light to the basement and walked down. Then he paused at the ground floor, only because he realized there was a very convincing smile on his face, and he knew that he wasnt afraid of this place any longer. He walked through most of the basement, trying to hear a noise, as he knew that no noise would scare him. But he wanted to experience this fear-free moment, the moment that used to turn him into a helpless victim. This moment now turns him into a proud hero.

Edited by konerko14
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...

His feet are touching the basement floor now, and takes a glance into the dark depths of this place. This is all it takes for his mind to start projecting frightening images of evil spirits and burglars hiding, waiting to consume him. He rationalizes for a second, trying to convince himself that he can get by without any lamp. But then he thinks objectively, as he remembers reading about emotions, and how they aren't tools of cognition. He thinks to himself: "I can overcome this fear if I just walk through the basement right now. Thats it. Walk through. Forget your emotions. Get that lamp, even if the anxiety feels like its gonna kill you. Because in the end, there will be nothing to be afraid of any longer." So he chooses to walk further into the basement.

All of a sudden, he hears a cracking noise from the dark corner, then silence. "It is nothing" he tells himself, breathing faster, renewing his steps in a slower pace. He makes a step, stops to listen, then another one. He breathes with relief - there is nothing scary down here really.

He takes a few more steps and faces the shelves on which the lamp is stored. He reaches out and takes the lamp, then gets rid of the disgusting spider webs that got stuck on his arm. He smiles and breathes deeply. It went alright. Suddenly, strong arms grip his legs, as a loud noise of wood cracking fills the basement. A horrible, red-eyed beast is emerging from under the basement wooden floor. It then grabs the arms as well, squashing them against the body, and the man then faces the beast, and sees it's huge, wide body, red eyes with black pupils looking straight at him, and asking: "Don't you wish you went back upstairs? Muhahahahahahahahaha!! (with an evil laughter)". "Mommy!!!!" the man cries with terror, but mommy isn't there to save him. No one is. The monster opens it's big mouth and swallows the man whole. The, there is silence again, as the monster goes back to lurking beneath the floor, to wait patiently for months for the next tenant to walk in.

Silence and darkness fill the basement, and the shattered lamp reflects the dim light from the entrance...

The End :P

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A horrible, red-eyed beast is emerging from under the basement wooden floor. It then grabs the arms as well, squashing them against the body, and the man then faces the beast, and sees it's huge, wide body, red eyes with black pupils looking straight at him, and asking: "Don't you wish you went back upstairs? Muhahahahahahahahaha!! (with an evil laughter)".

It helps to take a lighter side to your fear, like this. Then you can see how ridiculous certain fears are.

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  • 2 weeks later...

It's a good idea to convince yourself that doing the thing you fear is okay. If your actions aren't completely congruent with your thoughts, that that will be projected as a weakness, and your attempt to methodically approaching your fears will be seen as more of an impulse.

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  • 2 months later...

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