Spano Posted November 23, 2006 Report Share Posted November 23, 2006 Today I was going through a file my parents have kept for me since birth which mostly consists of reports cards and such. I was surprised and amused to find a "Pupil Progress Report" from my time in a "2-3 year old" program at a Christian school. Since I have no recollection of this school, this was news to me. The report consisted of 3 solid pages of items where you're graded on whether you can or cannot do certain things. Here's a few random items from my report: "Plays with other children: Y (yes)" "Willing to share playthings: S (sometimes)" "Shows desire to be obedient: Y" "Can throw a ball: Y" "Knows first name: Y" "Puts on coat with little help: N (not yet)" "Can blow his own nose: N" In another section, I found: "Talks to God in prayer: Y" "Memorizes Bible verses: Y" Imagine my surprise. As a little tike I may not have been able to put on my coat or blow my nose, but I could talk to God, by golly! On the one hand I found this to be hilarious, but on the other hand I found it disgustingly dishonest. Indoctrination certainly starts young. It's no wonder people grow up believing in God...they can't even remember a time they didn't. Thankfully that was my last time in that kind of school -- I wasn't once even taken to church. It makes me shudder to think of bible thumpers getting 2 year olds to "talk to God." Anyone else have experiences like this? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vladimir Berkov Posted November 23, 2006 Report Share Posted November 23, 2006 I remember it in the context of Sunday school, where I suppose I was one of the failures. I must have been very young, like three or four and we were supposed to be making "Jesus fish" (like the ones on the back of cars) on construction paper by gluing on pieces of pasta, glitter, etc. Only I didn't like the way the Jesus fish looks and wanted to make mine with an eye and with fins, which the teacher grudgingly allowed. At that age I guess I didn't even understand what a Jesus fish was, I thought we were just making pictures of normal fish. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thejohngaltline Posted November 23, 2006 Report Share Posted November 23, 2006 Oh yeah, I know all about the get-em-while-they're-young technique. I was raised going to church five days a week. Luckily, my parents couldn't afford to send me to a private Christian school (but I'm sure they would have loved to do so), and I think the broader education I received in public school and my own interest in reading is what led me to finally question the "unquestionable" religion I was taught. That's quite a report card there, Spnao. Real 'fridge worthy stuff. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
non-contradictor Posted November 23, 2006 Report Share Posted November 23, 2006 That's more than a little creepy. I went to preschool at my local Church, but I can't remember anything from preschool, let alone whether or not they tried to indoctrinate me. I think I went to Sunday school, too, but I can't remember that either. I think it may have had some sort of effect on me, though, because even though I've never believed in God, I used to think that I should. I went to confirmation class for a little while in junior high because I was trying to acquire faith. I gave it up as a bad job rather quickly, and haven't looked back since. Now, when I'm accosted by a religious person, I tell them that I'm incapable of believing in God. I gave it a good try, but I failed. Too bad, eh? Makes me laugh now at how much of an idiot I was being, trying to make myself believe. I don't even know where the desire came from. My father's an Ayn Rand fan and my mother, though a Christian, never taught me much religion. One of my favorite stories from my childhood I've heard from her, is four year old me shouting : "Who's Jesus?" in the middle of my cousin's very Catholic first communion. On second thought, maybe the Sunday school wasn't so effective after all. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bobsponge Posted November 23, 2006 Report Share Posted November 23, 2006 Sends shivers up my spine. Does anyone remember CCD? I was the one the nuns snarled at, because I was always asking questions that could only be answered with "Because it says so in the bible!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bold Standard Posted November 23, 2006 Report Share Posted November 23, 2006 Only I didn't like the way the Jesus fish looks and wanted to make mine with an eye and with fins, which the teacher grudgingly allowed. Lol, that's awesome. Trying to improve the picture to make it look more like a fish, and not understanding why the teachers didn't like it better that way. I can totally picture it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bold Standard Posted November 23, 2006 Report Share Posted November 23, 2006 I went to a Christian pre-school, too. But I don't remember much Christian stuff besides the prayers they made us say before we ate our snack, "God is great God is good let us thank him for this food." I just remember not thinking that good and food was a very good rhyme. And also, me being very much an ADHD kid and not knowing it (I wasn't diagnosed with it until 7th grade), i was the only one who was 100% unable to take a nap during nap time. When all the other kids went to take their nap, I got to stay up and play, because otherwise I'd just squirm around and make noise and keep all the other kids awake. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LaszloWalrus Posted November 23, 2006 Report Share Posted November 23, 2006 Great story from a friend of mine in Sunday school: Sunday school teacher: Do you know why man is the greatest creature? Friend: Because of evolution? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thejohngaltline Posted November 24, 2006 Report Share Posted November 24, 2006 I just remember not thinking that good and food was a very good rhyme. Hah, me too! I used to pronounce it wrong specifically to make it rhyme more nicely. Great story from a friend of mine in Sunday school: Sunday school teacher: Do you know why man is the greatest creature? Friend: Because of evolution? I like that! I only gave Christianity a "try" for the first couple years of my adolescence, before the pastor of my parents' church did me the favor of discounting it once and for all (I told him I wanted to be a writer when I grew up and he responded that it would be a sin to use a talent God gave me for my own pleasure... Makes me sick now.) But, looking back on it, I remember what attracted me to Christianity most strongly was the concept of Jesus as a perfect man, and the idea that perfection was attainable--even if only by mimicking God. Sheesh, glad I straightened that mess out! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bold Standard Posted November 24, 2006 Report Share Posted November 24, 2006 Hah, me too! I used to pronounce it wrong specifically to make it rhyme more nicely. Which one did you pronounce wrong? The first would be funny, "God is goo'd." But, looking back on it, I remember what attracted me to Christianity most strongly was the concept of Jesus as a perfect man, and the idea that perfection was attainable--even if only by mimicking God. (Sorry, couldn't resist.) I liked Jesus at first for that, and also because I thought he was an individualist and a rebel. I didn't realize what he was rebelling against included justice and self esteem, though. (For the record, Christianity doesn't actually hold that it's possible to attain perfection even by mimicking God; only Jesus could do it, because he didn't have original sin because of his alleged virgin birth. Also, he wasn't really much of an individualist. But it's easy to understand how people could be mislead about these points who haven't studied the scriptures in detail). Sheesh, glad I straightened that mess out! Yeah, thank God! : P Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
intellectualammo Posted November 24, 2006 Report Share Posted November 24, 2006 Does anyone remember CCD? I remember somewhat. I can't remember my youth much, which is good in some ways (as in this case) and yet horrible in others. I don't think my Sunday school had nuns as teachers, though. I do remember one of mine saying how she liked going to the ocean, where she could feel just how small she was, a place where she was closer to God, could talk to him, etc. She actually lived on the same road we did, and my sister and I would skateboard by her place and make jokes about her, like for instance I would say to my sister: "She feels so small near the ocean, because it is actually the only thing bigger than she!" She was the largest woman that I had ever seen at that age... I remember a boy there telling me that taking the Lord's name in vain would get me struck down. Sooooo, to test what he said as being true or false (I'm ever the truth seeker!) I volunteered to be a guinea pig, if you will. I found the nearest crucifix and sticking both my middle fingers up at it, uttered the verbal translation of those gestures, as well as several other profane words, and was not struck down. One other thing that I remember is that when we were in the church, there were candles in the back...some were lit, some weren't. I thought someone had forgotten, or missed snuffing some of them out, so I proceeded to do so myself...let's just say I found out what those candles were really for, when I did that! (I can't remember what they were used for now, though.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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