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How do you know if you are happy?

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I am looking for a clarification of how to identify happiness.

First, I want to know how someone is supposed know that they are happy, as opposed to being just temporarily excited, pleasured, or content? And can you identify others who are happy, and how?

Also, I want to know if there is a common link to certain behaviors when a person is happy. Do all happy people act similar with their behavior? For instance, are all happy people social people -- do they gain a more noticeable desire to interact with others?

As a more intimate question, how do you personally act when you are happy?

Feel free to take a stab at any of those. Any comments are appreciated.

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Happiness comes from an achievement of values. If you have values that are in tune with reality and you achieve them through rational means (with the span of a lifetime as your gauge), you will generally be happy about that. Momentary happiness is pointless because you know that in the next moment you'll be unhappy.

When I am happy, I am very sociable, friendly, and bubbly. Being happy rocks!

Edited by Mimpy
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Happiness comes from an achievement of values. If you have values that are in tune with reality and you achieve them through rational means (with the span of a lifetime as your gauge), you will generally be happy about that.

I agree with you.

Happiness is a state of non-contradictory joy - a joy without penalty or guilt, a joy that does not clash with any of your values and does not work for your own destruction ... Happiness is possible only to a rational man, the man who desires nothing but rational goals, seeks nothing but rational values and finds joy in nothing but rational actions

Momentary happiness is pointless because you know that in the next moment you'll be unhappy.

Why does being happy at the moment mean you will be unhappy the next moment? Are you talking about 'happiness' from whims or an escape from reality?

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Why does being happy at the moment mean you will be unhappy the next moment? Are you talking about 'happiness' from whims or an escape from reality?

I don't know what Mimpy meant. but I've noticed people who are unsatissfied with their lives, sick of their jobs, tired of their families, etc etc, laugh uproariously at a movie commedy, or a TV commedy, or even enjoying themselves at parties, or amusement parks and other such places.

Such momentary joys, whicha re indeed joys, do not constitute happiness.

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Are you talking about 'happiness' from whims or an escape from reality?

I meant acting on whims. If you act on whims, like get drunk often or sleep with someone you don't really know, it might make you happy for a few hours...but in the end you'll probably regret it.

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First, I want to know how someone is supposed know that they are happy, as opposed to being just temporarily excited, pleasured, or content?

You know you are happy if, when you ask yourself the question: "Is the life I am living the life I want to live?" your answer is an unhesitating and unequivocal "Yes."

And can you identify others who are happy, and how?

By looking for signs as to how they would answer the above question. You can find many clues in their demeanor (do they always look worried or apathetic? do they smile readily? do they hold their heads high?), and you can draw conclusions from the statements they make (about "hating life" versus loving it, always complaining versus talking about their plans and achievements, and so on).

As a more intimate question, how do you personally act when you are happy?

You wouldn't have difficulty telling whether or not I am a happy person once you've heard my phone ring, as my ringtone is "If you're happy and you know it..." :huh:

I have once surprised my colleagues by standing up from my desk and jumping around in joy after I've solved a particularly difficult programming problem. But normally I don't show much reaction to either achievements or setbacks--as I know the latter can be overcome, and I treat the former as the natural, normal course of life.

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Happiness to me means a constant emotional background, sort of like a mood but without the connotation of being temporary. Personally, I've found an interesting indicator of my happiness: often when I'm looking in the mirror, I start to grin at myself for no particular reason, just in response to the fact that I feel generally efficacious and in control of things. Also, I find myself more often thinking consciously about the good -- whether its a nice day outside, or I'm using some technology that works well, as opposed to getting wrapped up in problems. In recent months especially, I've experienced this just about constantly, every day and throughout the day. If you're anything like me, when you're happy, you'll know it (without seeing much reason to clap your hands).

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Can someone give an explanation of the meaning for 'achievement of one's values'.

Say you value ice cream; then if you obtain a cone of ice cream through your own effort (such as earning the money for it and buying it), you have achieved that particular value one particular time. That, of course, is not enough to make you happy; it merely gives you joy. When your life is on a course that you are confident will allow you to earn all of your most important values all of the time, that is when we say you "are achieving your values."

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I don't know what Mimpy meant. but I've noticed people who are unsatissfied with their lives, sick of their jobs, tired of their families, etc etc, laugh uproariously at a movie commedy, or a TV commedy, or even enjoying themselves at parties, or amusement parks and other such places.

I too have known such people.

I've also known people who were not happy with their jobs, etc. who did not laugh uproariously at movie comedies or at parties. I've also known people who were happy, rational, content and successful who do laugh uproariously at movie comedies and at parties.

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  • 2 months later...
  • 2 months later...
You know you are happy if, when you ask yourself the question: "Is the life I am living the life I want to live?" your answer is an unhesitating and unequivocal "Yes."

I take that a step further. "The life you are living," I construe to be result based. Transitory and corollary to the source of those things. The question I ask myself is, "Am I being the man I want to be?" By this I mean everything man should represent. Do I follow my own defined virtues? Specifically, are my words, actions, thoughts and feelings integrated?...Do I have integrity?

The extent to which I know that I do is the extent to which I am happy, in the sense I think the question is asked.

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I take that a step further. "The life you are living," I construe to be result based. Transitory and corollary to the source of those things. The question I ask myself is, "Am I being the man I want to be?" By this I mean everything man should represent.

Which man? Humans are not that alike. There is a degree of variability in the human race that is not simply a matter of choice or taste. There are constraints. First of all our genetic make up limits our bauplan and determines the upper bound of our strength and wits. Our culture and language constrain our decisions and choices to a degree. We are not totally free of our upbringing. Overcoming culturally based constraints and biases is probably the hardest thing for a human to do. That is why there are so few truly, truly original folk. The vast majority of humans are also creatures of habit. Which is good news and bad news, but mostly bad news because habit inhibits genius. The languages one learns at Mother's knee or happen to pick up along the way shape one's thoughts to a degree.

Bob Kolker

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Which man? Humans are not that alike.

The ideal man; the heroic man. He said "everthing man should represent" not everything they do or are representing. Every man should have integrity; every man should be honest; every man should be true to their values; every man should have a passionate approach to their individual pursuits; etc. etc.

Now if you don't agree that there are ideal traits or behaviors that every man should exhibit, that would be a topic for another thread.

I think it's possible you are thinking too concretely about specific tastes and desires as opposed more generally about those traits and qualities that are ideal and that every man should pursue or exhibit.

However, the tone of your post is that no man can be truly objective because he is automatically biased or influenced by his culture in ways that he cannot always overcome. I disagree with that, but that's beside the point. Every man still should try to overcome these influences and learn to objectively evaluate reality. Some succeed, others do not. Again, if you refute the ability for man to be "truly" objective, that should be another thread as well, best started in the debate sub-forum.

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The ideal man; the heroic man. He said "everthing man should represent" not everything they do or are representing. Every man should have integrity; every man should be honest; every man should be true to their values; every man should have a passionate approach to their individual pursuits; etc. etc.

Why? As long as a person is not vexing his neighbor and is earning his keep, why should it make any difference whether he is passionate or laid back? A laid back person who is not crowding my life or dipping into my wallet is no bother to me at all. I am indifferent to his passion or lack of it. I only get exercised when:

1. My property is threatened.

2. My life is threatened.

3. My peace and quiet is violated.

4. Someone gets in my face.

Items 1 through 4 tend to irritate me.

Bob Kolker

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Why? As long as a person is not vexing his neighbor and is earning his keep, why should it make any difference whether he is passionate or laid back? A laid back person who is not crowding my life or dipping into my wallet is no bother to me at all. I am indifferent to his passion or lack of it. I only get exercised when:

1. My property is threatened.

2. My life is threatened.

3. My peace and quiet is violated.

4. Someone gets in my face.

Items 1 through 4 tend to irritate me.

Bob Kolker

The question was about what causes happiness. Specifically, what personally makes us happy. I contend that happiness is ultimately derived from virtue. I know it is for me and believe strongly that it is for everyone else. Happiness has a direct correlation to the extent that they are virtuous. Those things you mention are regarding how other people might be a nuisance. I wasn't making any demands on the behavior of others. Only stating the demands which reality will make towards them if they wish to be happy.

Regarding your original statement, I really need no reminder of the role played by genetics and environment on the development of an individual. The reasons I disagree with the idea that "the achievement of values" causes happiness approach are the reasons you bring up.

A man does not always control the results of his actions because of this great interplay between the world and himself. He does, however, control his inner state and his actions themselves. Those alone determine his character and his character determines his level of happiness. No matter ones station in life, level of luckiness, or genetic code, happiness will still be determined by their own actions. By the sphere which they do have control over. Virtue is that sphere. It is the part of life which can be judged justly in yourself and in others. Pride and self-esteem are defining characteristics of a positive judgement and without those happiness cannot exist.

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However, the tone of your post is that no man can be truly objective because he is automatically biased or influenced by his culture in ways that he cannot always overcome.

RB

I agree completely with everything else you wrote in defense of my post, but here Mr. Kolker stated "We are not totally free of our upbringing"(italics mine). This implies to me that he is not being deterministic in his views. (I do agree that his tone seemed to imply determinism, though) I don't think a recognition of environmental influences would necessarily imply contrariness to Objectivism, so some clarification might be in order.

Mr. Kolker,

Perhaps you could explain what degree, if any, of determinism you are advocating.

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RB

I agree completely with everything else you wrote in defense of my post, but here Mr. Kolker stated "We are not totally free of our upbringing"(italics mine). This implies to me that he is not being deterministic in his views. (I do agree that his tone seemed to imply determinism, though) I don't think a recognition of environmental influences would necessarily imply contrariness to Objectivism, so some clarification might be in order.

Mr. Kolker,

Perhaps you could explain what degree, if any, of determinism you are advocating.

The genetics determine our bauplan and vulnerability to certain diseases. Also, our mental capacity (brain and nervous system) is affected by our genetic heritage. Everything else is a product of our life experience and our choices. Our mental furniture is initially provided during our upbringing. Later on, those who have the wits and the will can unload their cultural baggage. It is not easy, but it is possible. Having the right mentors can make this difficult task somewhat easier.

Bob Kolker

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Why? As long as a person is not vexing his neighbor and is earning his keep, why should it make any difference whether he is passionate or laid back? A laid back person who is not crowding my life or dipping into my wallet is no bother to me at all. I am indifferent to his passion or lack of it. I only get exercised when:

People should have those qualities for themselves, because those are the qualities that make a person moral and therefore happy. You are correct for not letting those people bother you, unless they are somehow violating your rights. Happiness comes from virtues, and every man should pursue his own happiness for his own sake.

A person of no integrity, no honesty, and no desire to do anything productive (ie no passion) cannot be happy.

Edited by Chops
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  • 3 weeks later...
I am looking for a clarification of how to identify happiness.

First, I want to know how someone is supposed know that they are happy, as opposed to being just temporarily excited, pleasured, or content? And can you identify others who are happy, and how?

Also, I want to know if there is a common link to certain behaviors when a person is happy. Do all happy people act similar with their behavior? For instance, are all happy people social people -- do they gain a more noticeable desire to interact with others?

As a more intimate question, how do you personally act when you are happy?

Feel free to take a stab at any of those. Any comments are appreciated.

what i can tell you is, i think you can know you're happy, when you compare the life you're living, have lived so far, and are going to live to all the other possible lifes you could be living or could have achieved to live, had you made other choices in your life, or where you to make other choices in the future than the ones you're going to make.

looking at all this and coming to the conclusion that what you are living is the best of all those possible lives should give you real happiness.

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  • 3 weeks later...
Pride and self-esteem are defining characteristics of a positive judgement and without those happiness cannot exist.

I think this is a pivotal point. If, as we all seem to agree, happiness lies in the pursuit and/or achievement of values, we have to remember that before we can decide what is a "value" to us we have to ask, in a broader sense, who is it a value to and for what purpose? The answer to the former question is "oneself," that's obvious, but I am having some difficulty pinning down the exact answer (in a nice succinct manner, anyway) to the latter question. Is the purpose self-preservation/life on a broad level or living as man should, to fulfill his proper identity? I could use some help on that point. I am, afterall, a novice at philosophical discussions.

As to how I know I'm happy, I am at that point in my life where I am more in the process of acting to achieve my values than having already achieved them. That sounds pessimistic, but it's actually quite the opposite. I am inspired by my pursuit, and confident in my abilities. Here's where pride and self-esteem are essential. Without having pride in who you are you cannot confidently identify those values you feel it is right to expend the effort to pursue. Moreover, they won't have the impact they could when you achieve them because a lack of self-esteem could lead you to forget that second question: what is the purpose of the value. If you cannot say it is to better your life, well... perhaps that's a topic for a separate forum.

I feel happy when I feel efficacious; when I can confidently say "that was a step in the right direction." I suppose the individual himself is the only one who can say with certainty when he is happy (for many people are quite good at faking it), but if one were to look at me and wonder the giveaway would be my singing. When I am happy, I find cause to sing all the time, whether it's humming what I affectionately call my own personal soundtrack (think about the sounds that animate your older variety of cartoons; that's the kind of stuff I often hum), or singing at the top of my lungs while driving in my car. No, I am not a very talented singer, and yes I realize people close to the outside of my car can hear me, but who cares? Some people do these things as well, but not everyone. I suspect there's always some sort of visible (or audible...) indicator of one's happiness, though. When you have that sense of content and vitality that comes from happiness, you find yourself more comfortable in every setting, facing every challenge and in relating to others. Some people exhibit happiness with a smile, others stare confidently at what they've achieved without any outward indicator beyond the pride conveyed in their posture (ala Howard Roark). At this point in my life, I'm getting my climbing gear on at the base of a metaphorical mountain, but the thought of what the view will be like at the summit makes me happy. I actually like the thought that the view will make more summits visible; it help give me purpose. It makes me realize how my mind and body will work together to conquer the challenge. The ascent may be slow, or it may be fast, but either way, the value is achieved in the end and my happiness will only continue to grow.

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