Even though it seems to make them very happy that they do something hurtful to you without absolutely needing to?
They kind of do “need” to in a weird, twisted way … yanno, to save my soul from eternal hellfire Unfortunately it doesn’t make any of us very happy, really.
Anyway it’s true … I probably do need to back off some, get a life and let them worry about how to take it. Thanks to everyone to replied - I think it’s a little clearer to me now what my actual responsibilities are in this situation (to stand up for my own beliefs, not help anyone else keep up theirs) and what I’m not responsible for (anyone else’s reaction to my decisions).
It’s really easy for someone online to tell you to leave everything you love. Don’t we all wish we had that amount of willpower and conviction?
Let’s be real.
Just don’t go to church with them. When they ask why just say “I don’t want to” and leave it at that. Let them go, and in the meantime cook them a nice brunch so when they get back they know you aren’t mad and you still love them.
It’s really easy for someone online to tell you to leave everything you love. Don’t we all wish we had that amount of willpower and conviction?
Let’s be real.
Just don’t go to church with them. When they ask why just say “I don’t want to” and leave it at that. Let them go, and in the meantime cook them a nice brunch so when they get back they know you aren’t mad and you still love them.
It’s not really a matter of leaving everything I love … it’s a matter of shutting up & putting up or else there isn’t going to be much love left to cook brunch for. There would be no fear of me being mad at them.
And I’m definitely not going to do anything because anyone online tells me to! I just needed a little perspective in sorting out the issues. I’ve got all the willpower and conviction I need to do what I have to do, once I decide I need to do it … and that’s not leaving everything I love, it’s just being a little more upfront and a little less of a doormat to my family and a few of my friends (who happen to be all my oldest friends) and being ready to accept the consequences of that.
Actually, the best thing to do is to stand up for what you believe. The question isnt “why dont you believe in God?” The question is "Why do they? You have to remember, you are a threat to them. Your rational approach is a constant challenge to their unthinking belief. It forces them to ponder the imponderable. Generally speaking, it is not your soul that believers are concerned with, it is their own.
Bluey, I think you’re letting them have a hold on you, and it’s making you unhappy.
I think that they should at *least* be willing to meet you halfway by not asking you to go to church, and not have religious discussions in your presence.
I know all this from experience: my father agreed to this when I was 12 years old, and he and his side of the family are still in my life (although the blessing over Christmas dinner is still a bit… odd to me, like I’m having dinner with some primitive tribe in some jungle or something - I hold hands with them and sit quietly while they finish their “magic chant”). My mother never accepted my total non-belief in the supernatural, and in fact has gone completely off the deep end into mystic beliefs (feng shue, crystals, pyramids, eastern religions, etc) - and therefore is no longer in my life. In my opinion her mind has “cracked,” and being around her is just too depressing to deal with.
In PhilosophySpeak: Being around my father is a greater value, even though he’s a Christian, than avoiding the Christmas dinner blessing and what little religion to which he exposes me. Being around my mother is not a greater value to me than avoiding all of her mysticism.
From your post, it’s clear that your family still trying to influence your beliefs and get you into religion is effecting your happiness. Your time and your happiness are important! Don’t give it away for anything that isn’t a greater value.
Unfortunately it doesn’t make any of us very happy, really.
