Then, to the question: “Do you think that horrible parenting can have …a negative… effect on a child…?”,
My guess would be: yes, parenting – whether horrible or great – usually does have a negative or positive (respectively) “effect” on a child. On the other hand, within certain boundaries of reasonableness, I guess a child can be willful enough to resist.
Parents can effect the options a child has. They can also affect his thinking. Again, within reason, a person can overcome a previous lack of options and can change his thinking.
In terms of thinking, my guess would be that the easiest part to change is a one’s explicit ethical & political ideas. A little more difficult would be changing a fundamental epistemological approach or changing some fundamental aspect of one’s psychology.
Perhaps one thing the child has going for him is that the teenager-phase, where it’s pretty natural to rebel.
That’s my layman’s view of a question that is cast in very broad terms.
I think the worst thing a parent could possibly do to their child is teach them that it’s wrong to think for themselves. Although it’s possible that the child will figure out that it’s actually the right thing to do, it’s very unlikely, and many will not be able to, having never known how to think for themselves or that it’s right. The way this would happen would be by the parent using phrases/ideas like ‘because I said so’ or ‘children should be seen and not heard’ or ‘don’t ask questions’ or ‘that’s just fantasy, it’s not real, so I won’t play imaginary games with you.’ Well, that last one would be phrased differently, but you probably get the idea.
The second worst thing a parent could probably do is instill a belief in their child that he’s not worthwhile, or not a good person. This happens with stuff like ‘you’re doing this wrong’ or ‘you’re being bad’ rather than saying ‘don’t you think this way might work better’ or ‘that’s not a good thing for you to do because …’; basically, it’s much better for the child’s self-esteem if you keep the focus on his actions rather than the child. This is especially important when you’re frustrated or upset because it’s a lot easier to say things you’ll regret, and you really can’t take those back. Saying ‘I didn’t mean it when I said you’re a loser/idiot/[insert personal insult], I’m sorry’ won’t bring back the self-esteem the child has lost.
I am, of course, excluding insanity or physical abuse- I’m talking about rational people who are trying to be good parents and not succeeding.
We the living is the last book of AR I have left to read.
It just so happens I have a fantastic example of bad parenting.
This morning I was minding my own business lecturing on the immune system of all things to my class. A fairly random comment was brought up from a currently pregnant 22 year old. She states that her friends child at home who is 4 years of age has been suffering from bronchitis for that last six months. She wanted to know what this person could do to help her child other then the obvious and current treatment of antibiotics she received from her initial ER visit, and the following visit to the “free” clinic .
Not even thinking I asked the obvious, does the child come into contact with allergens, something like cigarette smoke? She looked at me and paused, and said “Yes she smoke, but that isn’t the problem, besides I (oops she slipped here) never do it in the same room, or usually anyways”.
I explained to her what smoke does to the mucus lining etc and she of course just got quite. Someone else in class piped in that smokers are getting a raw deal now, and that our parents parents smoked etc during pregnancy.
I agreed stating it would be nice if we had to take a parenting test in order to have kids and the smoker question would be on it.
The same girl who posed the question then said that “Who has the right to tell another person they can or cant have kids”
“I do if I’m paying the health care bills”
Not the PC response but its amazing the degenerates having litters.