The way I see it, any civilian deaths that occur during actions to fight an aggressor is on the aggressor’s hands. That doesn’t mean civilians should be targeted when there’s no military gain. If a megaton over Tehran saves American lives, so be it. I imagine it’d strike a good blow against the nexus of state-sponsored terrorism.
The impression I get from Tyco’s posts is that he believes that if the military controls the nukes that they will use them indiscriminately. That is just not so. Check the sorts of rules of engagement your government places upon its troops and their leadership. You are building an entire premise based off of a straw-man.