Confused College Student

Psychology and Self Improvement
1

I’m 21 and am a sophmore in college. I pay for everything (health/car insurance, gasoline, food, clothes, utilities, water bill) save my tuition and housing, and consider myself spoiled. My parents are fine paying for my housing and tuition, yet I feel guilty because of it. At 21, I feel like I am a financial burden to my parents and do not think they should have to fork out any more money. The college I attend is inexpensive, roughly $3,000/year for 30 credits. Nevertheless, that’s $9,000 out of my parents pocket to continue my education. Knowing that I probably don’t make $9,000/yr myself, it kills me to think of my parents paying for my tuition.

I’d like to be working 40hrs/wk at $10.00/hr somewhere, and 20hrs/wk while I take 15 credits at my school. But the problem is, I can’t seem to find a job. I’ve applied to numerous places and none of them have expressed any interest in me. There’s nothing wrong with me, nothing that would turn away an employer. I don’t have a lot of previous work experience, but I attend my classes on time and didn’t miss one class last semester or the semester before it. Furthermore, my background check comes up clean and has no traffic violations whatsoever. I am reliable, responsible, and capable of learning and doing mundane tasks, yet I can’t seem to get a response from any employer.

Work study isn’t available to me because my FASFA form says I don’t deserve it. Regardless, I don’t want to be a parasite of my parents any longer, and part of me wonders if it would be wiser to not get a job at all and take out loans to pay for my living expenses, that way I am no burden to my parents. Futhermore, my ultimate goal is to become an attorney, but I don’t see how, besides the measely income I might be receiving, flipping burgers, waiting tables, or filing crap helps achieve that goal. I’d much rather philosophize, study Objectivism, and write editorials/journalistic entries for $0/month than be making $1200/month.

Is my thinking wrong, however? I’m not really sure what to do.

2

It seems your parents value your education more then they do that money. Given your situation, I would say let them pay for it, then buy your parents something nice when you become a lawyer. :lol:

3

Maybe in your parents’ eyes you do deserve it. Either you have a self-image problem or harbor some guilt for something you’ve done in the past.

Even so, if your parents do not deduct you on their taxes you can take on the FAFSA yourself and put your own taxes on it. That way you’ll get access to more grants and loans, even though $3000/yr isn’t too much at all for undergrad.

I’d talk to your parents about it too. Open up some communication lines with them.

4

I understand your position. I was a Navy Enlistee for 4 years (straight outta school, had a terrible GPA and hence, little chance of college), and now I’m attending college thanks to the GI Bill; I also have major financial nightmares occuring regularly. Thanks to the GI Bill, FAFSA is almost useless (GI Bill counts as income, but not for tax reason…or maybe I got it backwards, it counts on one half of the formula, but not the other half), my parents help out here and there, but only when they think I really need it (I never try to count on their charity).

Due to clashes in my home structure and balancing time with work with everything else, I’m getting closer every day to what you’re trying to decide: the idea of just getting loans to help out now.

My progress in these kind of things is severly handicapped as of late, so sorry if this doesn’t help at all. Good luck to you.

And yea, you’re not alone about having job-finding troubles. As soon as I got out, I was shocked and dismayed at the difficulty I had finding a real job (and then right after I decide to start a college career, I get a serious invitation for a 3-year contract job at Caterpillar, d’oh!)

5

If you maneuvered your parents into paying your tuition then shame shame shame, but if they voluntarily pay for your tuition because they love you, then why would you reject their gift? I suggest looking at the question with a long-term perspective rather than a short-term one. Would it be better for you to drop out of school now and work a pizza place until you get enough money to pay your tuition (as in, “never”), or to accept a give from your parents which allows you to pursue your long-term goals and to become the best producer you can be? Payback time may come a few years later, when your parents need something. In all cases, you (and your parents) should think in terms of whether your are working for a value, or because of an unearned obligation.

6

You’ll have plenty of time to pay back your parents; I would accept the gift. Eventually, when your parents are old, for example, they may need you to manage some of their affairs and take care of them in some way.

7

I thought about the same question in college, and now even more that I’m in graduate school (and in the UK where I have to pay, rather than in the US where I’d have fees and a stipend from my university). I’m even in the fortunate position where I could pay my tuition and living expenses myself, if need be, but my father is insistant that I leave that money aside for later, especially for the turbulent period after my PhD when I’ll be trying to establish myself in academia. It occurred to me that I am employed - I’m employed by my parents to study and get a degree. When I see how proud they are and how devoted they are to my career it’s clear I’m not a leech or a burden but that I’m providing a great value to them.

8

I It occurred to me that I am employed - I’m employed by my parents to study and get a degree.

That’s a great way to think of it.

9

You could always just pay for college the way I did. I had a Stafford loan to basically pay for tuition, and my parents took out a Parent Plus loan which paid for living expenses. They took out the loan on condition that I pay them back once I graduate and get a job. Now that I have one, I pay their monthly bill for that loan, even though it’s in their name.

The reason you don’t qualify for work study is because of the way you filled out your FAFSA. What you need to do is not claim yourself as a dependent of your parents. If you aren’t a dependent, then your parents’ income will not play against you when they calculate your aid eligibility. Although, there’s no way you could pay for expenses with work study since they only pay minimum wage. It might help, but I wouldn’t plan on depending on that for living though. They typically don’t give you enough hours either. I had a work study job for a period in college and it was basically just good for a little extra spending money.

There is another option that I was considering while in school. My parents were having some financial problems and had trouble making loan payments (my dad was going to school at the same time I was, so cash flow was low and bills were high). I seriously considered ROTC since they pay 100% of your tuition. The only reason I decided against it is my parents threw a fit (they didn’t want to see their only kid going to Iraq I guess).

10

I seriously considered ROTC since they pay 100% of your tuition. The only reason I decided against it is my parents threw a fit (they didn’t want to see their only kid going to Iraq I guess).

I wish I’d had the sense to take this option. Four (or even just two) years in the armed forces would probably have been extremely good for me–a lot better than what I ended UP doing, which was dropping out. Besides, you could probably have gotten into the Air Force, Nick, and that’s just cool.

11

I tried joining the US military, for financial reasons and because I thought the experience sounded worth it. I think it can be an excellent option for smart people who grew up in poor families (meaning parents who have a difficult time or an impossible time getting their kids off to a good start).

In the end I had to find different options, because the military had a problem with my medical history. (Yes, I did try to get around it).

12

I’m employed by my parents to study and get a degree.

Thanks.