I agree that Objectivists sometimes have to “work off” their old habits and automatized feelings.
At the same time, it is important to question every perceived “life vs. philosophy” conflict to ensure that the issue is really a question of philosophy. My previous post in the thread might have been slightly abstract. So, I thought it would be useful to compile a short list of some examples.
Discussing the specifics of any particular example would deserve a separate thread. Indeed, some of them have already threads of their own. So, these examples are meant to highlight the types of issues, not to discuss any particular one. Here they are (written in the first person to add a tone of introspection):
[begin conflicts]
“I’ve always hated big cities. I really don’t want to live in a skyscrapers. I appreciate what went into making this city; but I really don’t like the city-experience. Does that make me anti-achievement? anti-man?”
“I like Beethoven or Zappa or Heavy Metal. Is that wrong? I like some Rachmaninoff; but much of his music leaves me cold. Does that mean I have not integrated a proper aesthetics?”
“I’ve always admired adventurers. It has long been my ambition to climb K2. But, it’s risky and it really isn’t productive. I could even die; does that make it anti-life?”
“I’ve always been quite happy with my minivan, but an Objectivist I respect says that the only men who drive them are hen-pecked husbands who have subjugated themselves to the needs of others. Is this true? Am I being selfless?”
“Am I dishonest if I accept a government scholarship? What about the public library? Am I a hypocrite?”
“I don’t exercise much. I never go to the gym. I even have the beginnings of a belly. My parents and grandparents were all overweight; compared to them, I’m doing well. But, there is no reason why anyone must remain overweight. Am I evading?”
“I really want to be an inventor, but if I follow my dream who will profit? Won’t I be helping the moochers? Should I give up and shrug?”
“I like certain porn, but what rational reason do I have to do so? I can stop looking at it, but that still does not stop me wanting to. Is it okay to view it until I find a real woman? Am I rationalizing? Evading reality? Being irrational?”
“I’m homosexual. I don’t know if I can change. I agree with everything else about Objectivism. If man is born tabula rasa, surely my lifestyle is a choice I make. Then, how do I justify it?”
“I’ve always wanted to be a prosecutor and help bring criminals to justice. Now that I’ve read Ayn Rand, I wonder if I have to change the central purpose of my life so as not to enforce immoral laws.”
“I just read a list of ‘top 10 things Objectivists say…’, and thought it was funny. But, humour is a way of mocking something, so I probably should not have found it funny if I really respected Objectivism. Is my laughter destructive? Do I harbor an unacknowledged contempt for my philosophy? For myself?”
“I wish there were more Objectivists I could talk to. Sometimes, it feels I’m all alone. I wonder if I am the problem. Isn’t loneliness a sign that I need others? Am I being second-handed?”
“I’ve been depressed lately. Does that reflect on my character? I finally saw a doctor about it and he prescribed some pills. Should I take them? If I’m rational, wouldn’t I be able to resolve this myself?”
“Objectivism has some wonderful premises and very logical and rational principles that one ought to follow. But sometimes I wonder, just how realistic is it?”
"When I go out with my friends, they never want to talk about anything serious. It’s all small talk or worse. I’m always arguing with them. They want me to ‘chill out sometimes’. Are they evil? Am I being needy in associating with such people? Is it practical to expect I can deal with such a non-Objectivist environment? "
“My teacher is always saying something stupid, and I’m always arguing. I tell myself it will hurt my grades and that I should back off. Isn’t it wrong to back off? Don’t I need to stand up for what I believe in. Isn’t silence a sanction? Even if I decide to keep shut, I end up seething with anger. Surely, Objectivism is not practical for getting an A on an English paper.”
“Ever since I understood Objectivism, I no longer enjoy novels and movies the way I used to. Previously, I could enjoy a well-made movie and not notice its minor flaws. Now, so many movies have little things that rankle. Even if I know, intellectually, that the movie is pretty good, it usually contains something that spoils it for me.”
“I thought it would be great fun when I heard there was a group of Objectivists in my city. Yet, it felt a bit empty. The discussions were useful, but I often felt I could not be frank about my questions. And the party our club organized was a let down. Instead of simply having fun, it was one long rant about the evil state of the world.”
“I really don’t know what I should do about this. Should I ask for advice in such an important issue? Roark wouldn’t. Am I being a Peter Keating?”
“I did something wrong yesterday – a white lie. I was embarrassed about something I said to X and I lied. I said I didn’t meant it that way. Then, Y and Z turned on me and said it I was showing a terrible psychological weakness. I felt hurt, but I guess I deserved it. I wish they could be more polite, but I suppose it’s wrong for me to expect that. They were right to be brutally honest – they’re Objectivists too.”
[end conflicts]
[Caveat repeated: The above is to demonstrate types of issues and not meant to prompt discussion of the specific issues themselves.]
Some of these issues are addressed in Objectivist literature. Others have been addressed in forums such as these. Some may be real conflicts and something a person must change about themselves. Others are simply an issue of optional values. Still others are misunderstandings about Objectivism.
Thanks to a Forum such as this one, folks can (sometimes) work these things out more easily, because others may have thought through the same issue already.
With all that said, I’d like to ask the original poster, Ariana, this: you are not sure if Objectivism has made you any happier. Well, what has been its impact? Has it had no impact at all? Has it made some aspects happier and others less happy? If so, what are examples of the latter?