Kira Peikoff's novel

Books, Movies, Theatre, Lectures Fiction
1

Hey everyone,

I noticed you have a discussion running about fiction, dystopian novels in particular. I invite all of you to check out the website devoted to my debut novel, titled THE UNHOLY GRAIL, which has dystopian elements and incorporates Objectivist philosophy into the plot and theme.

The book isn’t available for purchase yet–as I’m working on finding a publisher–but if you like what you see, subscribe to my newsletter and I’ll keep you updated on my progress toward publication!

Sincerely yours,

Kira Peikoff

www.kirapeikoff.com

Lotus Birth and rights
2

Hi, Kira! Hope you find a publisher soon. I’m certainly interested in checking it out.

3

Hi Kira,

Welcome to the Forum.

I went over to your website and read the excerpt you posted from your novel. Although what you made available is too short for me to provide a proper criticism on, I have enough information to point out some potential problems.

_______________________________________________

Main Issues:

  1. They year you chose as a setting, 2027, is considered the near future. Science fiction writers often run into problems of plausibility when the future they project is too much at odds with present reality. The closer the projected future is to the present, the further the problem is compounded. The writer must then walk a fine line in providing enough technological, social, and political change to create a unque setting, while maintaining enough of the present to serve as as an anchor. You also run the risk of making your work obsolete if the date you wrote about arrives and is completely different from what you described.

  2. The premise of your story may already be obsolete today and in terms of technology would almost certainly be in 17 years. Embryonic stem cell research is being supplanted by a new technique which allows for pluripotent stem cells to be extracted from skin cells, obviating the need for embryos. Here is a link http://www.reuters.com/article/latestCrisis/idUSN28256624.

  3. The opening paragraph of your excerpt is confusing from a point of view perspective.

No one was near her when it happened. Trent watched in disbelief as Arianna stuck her right foot in the spokes of her front wheel, missing the peddle by inches. He could see her body tighten, as if clenching her muscles would forestall the blow, as her front tire stopped short and the momentum hurled her over the handlebars.

If no one was near Arianna during her accident how could Trent see small details like her right foot getting caught in her tire or even more egregiously, her muscles tense up? Unless he was watching her through binoculars it would be impossible for him to be far enough away that she couldn’t see him, but near enough that he could see her.

  1. For a future set in a possible theocracy, you have your characters using “Jesus” as a swear word quite often. Isn’t that taking the Lord’s name in vain?

  2. Another possible issue you should consider is that your novel isn’t appropriate for publication. Most writers need to go through a training period where they practice and hone their craft, before becoming experienced and skilled enough to write professionally. Even Ayn Rand did (see “The Early Ayn Rand”).

Side Issues:

  1. I noticed a typo. Under Trent Rowe’s character description you wrote that he is “a conflicted man who was taught to be believe that by strengthening his faith in Christianity, he will succeed in giving his life meaning.” There is an extra “be” before “believe.”

  2. Your site design is much too gimmicky for a serious young writer. The welcome page, with the blood red background and swinging padlock looks more appropriate for a cheap horror film, then a science fiction novel. I would get rid of that and the animated flames and try a simpler, more direct layout.

_______________________________________________

Aside from the issues I’ve mentioned, I’d like to congratulate you on getting as far as you already have. Working for a year, full time, on a personal piece of writing isn’t easy. Just by completing your manuscript you’ve demonstrated an endurance and dedication that most people don’t have.

I’m also a young writer, working on my first professional piece of writing, so I understand the problems you’re facing first hand. If you’d like to “talk shop” further, don’t hesitate to send me a PM, and we can set something up.

Either way, best of luck with your professional endeavors.

4

I like your writing style, Kira, and I would enjoy reading the rest of the novel (in addition to the excerpt on your site) in whatever way it is eventually published.

5
  1. They year you chose as a setting, 2027, is considered the near future. Science fiction writers often run into problems of plausibility when the future they project is too much at odds with present reality. The closer the projected future is to the present, the further the problem is compounded. The writer must then walk a fine line in providing enough technological, social, and political change to create a unque setting, while maintaining enough of the present to serve as as an anchor. You also run the risk of making your work obsolete if the date you wrote about arrives and is completely different from what you described.

Though this can be a problem, if the story is good enough it doesn’t have to matter that much. How many people do you think really care that much that the actual year 1984 (or any of the years around about that time) was very, very different from the setting of the book 1984? :stuck_out_tongue:

6

Hey everyone,

I noticed you have a discussion running about fiction, dystopian novels in particular. I invite all of you to check out the website devoted to my debut novel, titled THE UNHOLY GRAIL, which has dystopian elements and incorporates Objectivist philosophy into the plot and theme.

Hi Kira. Thank you for the invitation and welcome to the forum. I’m always interested in dystopian, anti-utopian novels, or ones with those elements in them. Last one I read was one published from an online friend of mine, Isamu Fukui, who is attending the college you graduated from, Truancy, which is a trilogy about “absolute control through education”, which makes it unique to that genre of fiction.

I’m glad to read that your novel is O’ism oriented, because the demand for such literature is huge here. Thank you so much for letting us know about it.

I just did a very very quick glance at your words, for it would be treason to the loyalty I have to my dear Sylvia Plath right now, if I were to read anyone else’s words, besides those from her journals right now, but,

yours so far from what I glanced at, are starting to remind me of Noble Vision by Gen LaGreca. I loved that book. Are you familiar with it? If yours really is like that, I can’t tell because of my quick glance (out of respect for Syl), but it’d be great to have it on your subject matter of embryos, stem cell research - is there romance involved in this story as well?

Arianna. I just did a quick search of her name, which means “most holy”. Did the meaning of the name, have something to do with your naming her Arianna? It’s a lovely name, even without the meaning.

The book isn’t available for purchase yet–as I’m working on finding a publisher–but if you like what you see, subscribe to my newsletter and I’ll keep you updated on my progress toward publication!

I most certainly will. So, I must ask, has your dad taken a look at the manuscript?

7

Hi Kira, welcome to the forum and thanks for writing a novel. I worked on one for about 12 years and had to put it aside due to my own conflicts with the hero of the story :pimp: So, that you finished yours is great. However, I have had problems accessing and reading your website. The words were too small for me to read, and currently it won’t even load up. I don’t know, maybe you have such a large ready audience the server is already overloaded :slight_smile:

8

Hi Kira, thank you for telling us about your novel. I hope it is published soon. I look forward to checking out your website.

9

Hello, congratulations, and good luck! :stuck_out_tongue:

They’re among my favorite genres (I’m working on one myself) and I certainly look forward to it.

All the best!

10
  1. Another possible issue you should consider is that your novel isn’t appropriate for publication. Most writers need to go through a training period where they practice and hone their craft, before becoming experienced and skilled enough to write professionally. Even Ayn Rand did (see “The Early Ayn Rand”).

Maybe they should cancel the printing of “The Early Ayn Rand” then?

I think you should let publishers decide what is appropriate for publication in their company or not.

Obviously, Kira thinks it is. In this final word you should respect her enough to accept her choice without challenging it. Otherwise, might as well start offering advice like “I don’t think you are ready for dating/ college/ kids yet” which involves just a big of a judgement as pursuing publication.

For a responsible rational adult such ‘opinions’ or advice is an insult. (You want to say that you don’t think you would publish it had you had your own company, or that it lacks technical maturity, for whatever reason - fine. But I don’t think it’s any of your business saying it the way you have - as a truth she should face if she is mentally mature enough to face it).

Another point, is that Art does not have to be technically perfect to have value - even tremendous value.

_________________

Kira - congratulations! I must admit, I am curious to see what kind of fiction the daughter of Leonard Peikoff writes. Would be an interesting read!

11

Maybe they should cancel the printing of “The Early Ayn Rand” then?

“The Early Ayn Rand” is in print to show the literary and intellectual progression of an already established author. Please note that had Rand been alive, she would have never allowed those works to be published because she knew they were beginner’s exercises, not ends in themselves.

I think you should let publishers decide what is appropriate for publication in their company or not.

Do you really think that I have the power to stop something from being published? What in hell are you talking about?

Obviously, Kira thinks it is. In this final word you should respect her enough to accept her choice without challenging it. Otherwise, might as well start offering advice like “I don’t think you are ready for dating/ college/ kids yet” which involves just a big of a judgement as pursuing publication.

This is the most ludicrous equivocation I’ve read in a long time. In fact, it’s borderline dishonest.

Kira posted here asking for feedback. I know a lot about writing, am a writer myself, and gave her honest advice. To compare that to me offering unsolicited opinions of a personal nature on things which I have no knowledge whatsoever, is offensive.

For a responsible rational adult such ‘opinions’ or advice is an insult. (You want to say that you don’t think you would publish it had you had your own company, or that it lacks technical maturity, for whatever reason - fine. But I don’t think it’s any of your business saying it the way you have - as a truth she should face if she is mentally mature enough to face it).

Are you blind? Can you read?

I said that it might be a potential issue to consider. I also said that the excerpt she made available was too short for me to use as a basis for a proper critique of her novel.

If your idea of a “responsible rational adult” is based on yourself, I understand why you think my advice would be insulting. Try to consider the fact that Kira may have more self-esteem than you do and that she might be rational enough to recognize friendly, competent feedback when she reads it.

Please stop carrying your personal grudge against me into a new thread.

12

<mod>Knock off the flaming.</mod>

13

Just received an email today. She might have to seriously consider self-publication of it, since, as she said, a debut novel is even more difficult to get published today. It will be available through Amazon, if not published by a publishing house. I wonder if she’s going to use soemthing like LuLu.com, because I think that is way better than PublishAmerica, which you sign over the publishing rights to them for many years. But I’m only a little familiar with such sites, for at one time I was considering publishing that way, but I had decided not to publish at all in my lifetime. Just making it an ebook and with us knowing about it in the Objectivist community, it’s going to sell a couple dozen or so copies at first, then probably once recommendations and valuations and judgements are pronounced, more. Upload it to the Kindle Store, or make it available in that edition if you go that route. Anyway to get it to my eyes, is all I care about! :stuck_out_tongue: I prefer ebook formats anyways.

14

Somehow I missed this whole thread when it appeared.

15

Somehow I missed this whole thread when it appeared.

I was thinking the same thing.

16

Kira posted here asking for feedback.

While I do not think you had any ill-intent with your criticism, there isn’t actually anything in her post that asks for feedback.

She said “check it out” and “but if you like what you see, subscribe to my newsletter and I’ll keep you updated on my progress toward publication!”.

17

Upload it to the Kindle Store, or make it available in that edition if you go that route. Anyway to get it to my eyes, is all I care about! :slight_smile: I prefer ebook formats anyways.

I’d buy a Kindle edition.

18

I’d buy a Kindle edition.

I’ll buy a nook edition! :slight_smile:

19

She’s found a publisher!

Tor Books.

To be out sometime in the Summer of 2011!

What I said earlier in this thread:

Hi Kira. Thank you for the invitation and welcome to the forum. I’m always interested in dystopian, anti-utopian novels, or ones with those elements in them. Last one I read was one published from an online friend of mine, Isamu Fukui, who is attending the college you graduated from, Truancy, which is a trilogy about “absolute control through education”, which makes it unique to that genre of fiction.

He published through Tor as well. :slight_smile:

20

I have a friend that published a book 2 years ago through Lulu.com and had a fairly easy time of it. I purchased the book and it was of standard book quality (i.e. perfect for her purposes). I would certainly suggest that as a legitimate avenue if she has trouble finding a publisher. She can even get a…what is it ISDN? code so that she can get it sold in brick & mortar stores such as Barnes & Noble if she so wishes rather than solely online methods.