I had always considered myself an honest and rational individual, but about a year ago I came to the horrid realization that I suppose many teenagers come upon with maturity that I was nothing short of a hypocrite. I considered myself rational, disciplined, and honest yet I realized that these attributes did not describe my character; rather I was belligerent, manipulative, irresponsible, and lazy.
I once had a passion for disgustingly excessive amounts of unearned self indulgance. I expected everything from everyone except from myself. My life could have once been summed up as School, parties, and video games. That was about the extent of my scope of the world. I realized suddenely sitting in the back of a car while somone I would have once called a friend was packing a bowl that my entire existence was pathetic. In my entire 16 years of existence from that point I conciously realized I had not accomplished one thing that I could confidently feel proud of. My grades were mediaocre, my athletic performance was piss poor, my self discipline was none existant, I possessed not talent, no defining skill, nothing, not one god damn thing. Now I’m happy to say I did possess the rationality to realize that I had to make changes, and I would have to be the source of such action. Instead of crying, “oh pity me” I went on a campaign of self improvement. Little by little everything changed, I picked up new habits and dropped old ones. I met new people, competent, intelligent, and confident inviduals who used each day to build upon themselves. Before my enlightenment I had secretly hated and envied this people, their success drove me made. However that turned to admiration. Although it remained frustrating, while they excelled, I was scrambling to undo the decade and a half of blunders.
As I progressed I became happier as a person. Obivously over the past year I picked up a bunch of new habits. I began to read every minute I could. Over the summer I was reading a book every 3-4 days, It was calming, it helped me to organize my own thoughts. One night I remebered a Dinner conversation in which somone brought up a book titled The Fountainhead by Ayn Rand, something about justifying selfishness, that’s all I could remeber the person saying. Needless to say I bought a copy I moved through it in about week. It made sense, every bit of it made sense. I had already held most of the philosophical concepts of the objectivsm to be true without knowing that such a philosophy actually existed. There was a short recess inbetween the time that I began Atlas Shrugged. I had a very basic understanding of Objectivism, and realized I wanted to know more. Atlas Shrugged (just began book 3) was amazing. It has been the catalyst for so much self realization, and general contemplation. I find myself adhering not conciously but rather naturally to objectivist principles in daily life I find myself more satisifed, harder working, disciplined, and increasingly independent. I would not however go so far to say I am satisifed and happy, not yet, I am not where I desire to be, I will work for it, and I will achieve it. I will not wish for it, rather know it’s inevitability due to my ability as a human to act, to work, and succeed.
I’m here because I want to further my understanding of objectivism. I wish to read and discuss the philosophies application to daily living, here on earth.
That’s my story, that is why I am here.
), so I am just going on second-hand info.