Jill, I really suggest that you should visit a doctor.
When you are depressed, especially during the winter (if you live on the Northern Hemisphere), then you should first wonder whether it is caused by hormonal imbalance in your brain rather than by a lack of value of your life.
I myself use a 10000 lux lamp during the winter, it helps very much 
If that doesn’t help try anti-depressants and sports. If your brain regained it’s balance you can start to think about what you value in life.
I made a commitment to resolve this although I feel otherwise.
I’m not sure about seeing a doctor for medication, though.
Thank you all.
It’s up to you to take the medication or not. But at least you should rule out any problem with your organs in order to make informed decisions about your life. There are a number of illnesses that can cause depressions.
I made a commitment to resolve this although I feel otherwise.
I’m not sure about seeing a doctor for medication, though.
Thank you all.
Jill, I urge you to find a therapist you can trust so that you know you have one person who is always on your side.
John