What is it?

Psychology and Self Improvement
1

What is it?

What is it, that keeps me from cleaning my room? What is it, that keeps me from studying for university and makes me do nothing at all instead? What is it, that keeps me wasting thousands of hours browsing the net and looking at pointless crap of which I know it has long since ceased to entertain me? What is it, that keeps me stay up all night playing computer games of which I know that they are no fun anymore but escape from reality? What is it, that makes me take 20 minutes in the shower, just because the water is nice and warm? What is it, that keeps me from brushing my theeth in the evening? What is it, that keeps me from finally finishing Atlas Shrugged, although I know I really like the book? What is it, that keeps telling me that as soon as I find the first girlfriend that likes me for more than a week, ‘IT’ will go away, although I know exactly that it has to be the other way round - I won’t find anyone as long as ‘IT’ is there, because I don’t respect myself. What is it, that made me buy an iPod, although I know its functionality is useless to me and that it’s only a shiny new toy? What is it, that sometimes makes me incredibly tired, although I know that physically I’m not? What is it, that made me write this post naked, although it’s almost twelve o’clock in the daytime?

What is it?

2

Ah, who is it?

It’s you.

You’re the one making yourself do every one of those things, since you have free will, and you’re taking every one of those decisions, every day. I guess you should start focusing on those individual decisions, and start making an effort to keep breaking your routine, and keep doing things. Eventually, the automated decisions will change, and it will become easier, but for now you’ll have to focus on every little decision to get up and do things. As to how best to go about that, there probably are ways to make it easier, but I don’t have that knowledge. Now get dressed.

3

I am now.

But is laziness really the only answer? Somehow I feel that there’s something else behind. But maybe that’s the laziness just trying to justify itself, I don’t know. Why is it sometimes so hard to do something of which you know that it’s right?

EDIT: The above sentence should be: But maybe that’s just me trying to justify my laziness.

4

What is your central purpose in life?

5

But is laziness really the only answer? Somehow I feel that there’s something else behind.

There well could be. For instance, a feeling of “what’s the point?”

6

But is laziness really the only answer? Somehow I feel that there’s something else behind. But maybe that’s the laziness just trying to justify itself, I don’t know. Why is it sometimes so hard to do something of which you know that it’s right?

Because knowing something and choosing it are two different things. We are faced with a lot of choices every day, so they often become automated. You are simply making the wrong choices automatically, probably because for a long time, in school, it was easier to do that. (either because you’re very smart and had no trouble learning what you needed to do OK in school just by being there, or because your teachers allowed you to get away with not knowing.)

Now, on the other hand, you probably have ambitions that require far more effort, but you are making the same day to day choices. You need to concentrate on every little choice: first, be aware of the moment you are making the wrong choice, and the rationalizations you may use to ease your conscience, and then start changing it. I don’t have any self-help books to recommend, but who knows, maybe some of them do work, and will help you with that.

As for feeling tired, that’s probably from staying up late, not getting the quality sleep you can only get at night. You can try to sleep better, or you can ignore feeling tired.(as I do) It works either way, as long as you don’t let being tired stop you from doing things. (And yes, you can do things when you are a little tired almost as well as when fully rested. For instance I have no problem programming-which takes plenty of thinking-, not even with zero sleep the previous night)

Here’s some of the things I (eventually, during the corse of about two years) did, after failing several exams in my first year of college (this, after getting into that college based on the great grades I had in a very demanding high-school), because I was unable to make myself follow the kind of schedule in college, that my highschool teachers forced me to follow:

  1. I became very selective when it came to: going out with friends, movies, entertainment in general.

  2. I don’t have a TV, nor do I watch one, ever.(I do watch a few shows online and I get the news online.) I don’t play video games.(mostly because I don’t like it anymore, no idea why)

  3. I try to stick to my plan of action: if I plan to do something, I usually do it. (unless it’s something I don’t like doing, then I screw around a lot, and leave it up to the last moment) However, a looming deadline always motivates me to do what has to be done, and I seem to be able to be aware of just how long I have before I run out of time.

  4. Whenever I am supposed to wait for someone, or have an hour before having to do something, I never just pass the time: I turn on my computer or borrow a laptop and start working, whatever work I have access to from the location I’m at.(my home PC is on non-stop, and I can connect to it remotely) That way, I get work done that I wasn’t planning on doing, and that’s a great motivator for me.

7

Jake is correct, it is you. You are thinking of these things you feel so apathetic toward in isolation, in reality you are refusing to think, refusing to live and that is a shame.

8

Jake is correct, it is you. You are thinking of these things you feel so apathetic toward in isolation, in reality you are refusing to think, refusing to live and that is a shame.

Good start, would the next question be why?

9

Good start, would the next question be why?

Because he hasn’t faced the full consequences of his actions yet?

10

IT is called apathy. Its a common psycological trait of those that have given up on life. Good luck. :huh:

11

What really helped me was a tight regular sleeping schedule with I think is also more important to your health then getting eight hours.

You may want to sleep just for a few minutes longer but you’ll thank yourself an hour latter if you get out right away I hate the thought of having wasted time just laying around in my bed because it ‘‘felt good’’ at the moment.

12

IT is called apathy. Its a common psycological trait of those that have given up on life. Good luck. :huh:

Yeah, cause people who have given up on life are really concerned about why they can’t seem to be able to work hard enough, even though they want to. That’s brilliant.

13

You might try researching procrastination, here’s one theory:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h1WC6hNTONg

14

Are you smoking pot? (Seriously, this is a MAJOR demotivator, especially when used chronically.) Are you depressed? (I felt motivated to do nothing at all when I was clinically depressed.)

This may not be your case, but I have to ask due to my personal experiences. (Although I never posted to the internet while naked. :lol: ) Anti-depressants, a good therapist, and more recently, learning about Objectivism and getting out of a bad marriage, have helped me tremendously in many ways, including feeling motivated to do just about anything I want to do. And, I stopped smoking, of course. :huh:

I have been off the medication and therapy for years now, but the divorce, quitting smoking and Objectivism are picking up where professional help left off, and filling the many gaps it left. I also suggest you read Virtue of Selfishness, if you have not already. Read it before you finish Atlas, if you must. It will help you “get” Atlas all the more, IMO.

15

What is your central purpose in life?

If I knew…

Being happy, I guess. However I don’t know how I can achieve that yet.

I’m currently waiting for the new semester to begin, I’ve just finished my first semester Philosophy and in addition I will now start Physics. (This has nothing to do with Atlas Shrugged, my decision was made before I knew the book.) What I’m going to do with that, I don’t know.

I think one of my greatest wishes at the moment is meeting someone in person who I can really respect, someone who gives me the same reassuring feeling Hank Rearden gets, when he meets Francisco d’Anconia, the same feeling I get when I’m reading some passages of Atlas Shrugged, that feeling of “Yes! That’s just so right!”. But then again, doesn’t that put me on the same level as Robert Stadler? I feel very lonely from time to time, although I have good friends that I can count on, but it seems to me that I’m surrounded by people who think like the ‘looters’ - especially my parents, with whom I live and who I’ve come to despise more and more lately.

Jake Ellison, I like your suggestions. Most of them I have tried and I follow some of them. However, number three is the one that worries me most. For example, this week I had to learn about 150 pages of mostly boring stuff for a test. I’ve caught myself often enough surfing the net or doing other unproductive things, always with the same “I shouldn’t be doing this, I should be learning”-feeling at the back of my mind. Instead, I could just have learned efficiently for a few hours and then spend the rest of my time on other things without this feeling.

Also, when I really have to do something, I have no problems doing it, including all of the things listed above. School is a good example for that. I was always late, it just didn’t matter. Now that I have a job, I’ve never come late, although I have to get up much earlier. In school, there was always also that tiredness, but now at work, I’m hardly ever tired.

And no, I’m not smoking pot, I don’t like drugs at all. Actually I’ve always debated with my friends about drinking too much alcohol, at the age when it was still a ‘cool’ thing to do. My drug is the internet. But I don’t think it’s the reason for my problems. (sounds like an addict’s speech, d’oh)

16

You are your own means to an end my friend. Set a long term goal, work toward it and in those moments when you falter remind yourself what it is that you want, what it is that you are working toward and why.

P.S. I agree with K-Mac’s recommendation of TVOS, I wish I’d actually read that first.

17

Also, when I really have to do something, I have no problems doing it, including all of the things listed above. School is a good example for that. I was always late, it just didn’t matter. Now that I have a job, I’ve never come late, although I have to get up much earlier. In school, there was always also that tiredness, but now at work, I’m hardly ever tired.

It sounds to me like the part of you that is apathetic realates to the formal school environment/process. You show a totally different side in relation to work. This is just a stab in the dark, but since the one activity is productive and creative (I presume), and the other is an artificial environment which produces nothing but papers and grades, I think you are in love.

You are in love with the primary act of life, producing, but are presently trapped by school into a world that doesn’t produce squat. Your motivation reflects that. If I am correct (I may be full of it), this is more a good thing than a bad thing. Understanding why will help you sort out your conflicting emotions and channel your energies in a manner consistent with your love.

18

If I knew…

Being happy, I guess.

There’s your problem. Happiness comes from achieving your goals, and is not a goal itself. Get a purpose. Is there anything that you enjoy doing and are good at? Art? Music? Carpentry? Building electrical circuits?

19

Yeah, cause people who have given up on life are really concerned about why they can’t seem to be able to work hard enough, even though they want to. That’s brilliant.

I realize now that humour is lost on some objectivists. Note the winking smiley face. :huh:

20

You’re the one making yourself do every one of those things, since you have free will, and you’re taking every one of those decisions, every day. I guess you should start focusing on those individual decisions, and start making an effort to keep breaking your routine, and keep doing things.

This is a useless advice. First thing he must do when he faces such problem is understand the cause of it. Much like any other problem. Without understanding the cause, there is no chance to repair anything. Simply changing the behavior will be as effective as putting makeup on wounded skin, or trying to maintain good weight just by forcing oneself to eat less. It just won’t work.

The place for discipline (if needed) is only after you understand the problem (in this case, the reason for “blockage” in motivation to live) and understand the required steps to make to solve it.

Jake is correct, it is you. You are thinking of these things you feel so apathetic toward in isolation, in reality you are refusing to think, refusing to live and that is a shame.

You are wrong. This guy is not refusing anything - he is helpless in solving his problem, because he does not understand it.

That said, I think David Odden started in the right direction - with asking about a purpose in life.