^^^^Could you post a link to a good scientist that says how the matter came to exist or was formed and/or non-living matter can became living, eating, recreating matter?
I would recommend Richard Dawkin’s “The God Delusion”. Dawkins is one of the best biologists/genetists and some chapters of this book will help you a lot, as it is written for laymen.
I believed in God for many years, Caesar. I was indeed a very religious person.
I think I can understand how you feel.
Placing a Creator before Big Bang does not solve anything, but rather complicates things and makes them less plausible. Who created the Creator? If it is difficult to understand how plain atoms came to existence (though there are very good explanations of Big Bang in many books and Internet resources) imagine how difficult would be to explain an all-knowing, omnipotent God, who, according to Judaism, Christianism and Islam, is a personal God.
But let’s face it, Caesar:
Do you ask God advice when you take important decisions? Do you wait for his response?
Do you do things that you don’t like to do to please God? Or do you avoid doing things for fear of displeasing God?
Do you do things expecting to be rewarded by God? Do you avoid doing things for fear of being punished by God?
If your answer to these questions is No, you might be aware, at some level, of the truth: that God does not exist. And that is why you live your life the best you can, regardless of any divine intervention, intention, purpose or recognition.
You might say “I believe in God”, but your daily life shows you give a damn.
If God cannot hear you, work for you, reward you, punish you, help you. What is the point of your belief?
Now if you stick to such an irrational belief, you will sooner or later fall into all kind of irrational beliefs.
For example, if God exists, does he think? does he have things to tell you? If so, how he will communicate these things to you? Whispering in your ears? Through a verse in a sacred old text? Through a bishop or priest? Through a dream, a vision, an hallucination?
And how will you be sure it is God talking to you? What if it is the devil? Or your imagination? Or a goblin? How can you prove that goblins and elves do not exist?
How can you know that, by trying to convince you of the non-existence of God, I am a satanic agent, typing on my keyboard guided by unspeakable evil?
The way of irrationalism is a slippery slope that leads to the rendition of your mind, your most important tool for survival and happiness.