Hello Brian.
I don’t pretend that I could offer you help or guidance - I am not a psychologist, etc., but I did want to ask you, since you’ve listed them, if you would define or describe each of those “mental illnesses” and then explain just how it is that you exibit them. If that’s more than you care to do, it’s certainly none of my business. I’m just curious. Basically I’m asking just what those deseases are you your view, and just why you think you have them; not what others say, what you think and say.
Regards,
John
Sure. I am a little hesitant, but I think I can handle it. I have never told anyone until recently that I even had problems. And, surprisingly, it took me all of my life up until I was 15 to realize that I even had them. I just figured that it was natural for all humans to have what I have – how sheltered I was.
(I believe you are asking me my symptoms to prove how I have them, yes? Here I go)
A mild form of A.D.D. – this would involve a lack of concentration and mind wandering from subject to subject and forgetfullness of things I am supposed to be doing. I’m sure all humans experience this, but my problem is worse, comparatively. My parents, when I was roughly 6, suggested that I had A.D.D. based on my behavoir. I always thought I had it somewhat, but just about a month ago my mom told me that she thought I had it, also. She said that when I was young I would never obey my parents after being told not to and even after being hit a couple of times – that I would keep at it. She said I would hit people, such as my cousin, and go right back at it no matter what. My mother also said that she used to have to tie my arm to her arm when going outside because when something caught my attention, I would run off across the street or something without a care in the world. I do not believe this to be the worse case scenario, so that is why I put ‘mild.’
Paranoia - also in relation to anxiety – this involves the belief that I think everyone knows everything about me, that I am being watched all of the time, and that I have anxiety attacks based on false, irrational ideas about dying at any moment for no apparent reason. If anyone here as come close to death, you know what it feels like. Except that for me, I will feel close to death although nothing is in fact wrong.
Schizophrenia - in relation to the paranoia – let it be said that there are many forms of schizophrenia, but this one is in relation to my paranoia about being watched and monitored all of the time. They are people, usually people that I know, or dead ones that I have never met, that watch me constantly. They usually observe from windows, behind trees, sitting in chairs, thru vents, black spaces or holes in ceiling tiles, etc.
A mild form of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder - this involves the need to move the corresponding right side of my body if I move the left side, and vice versa. If I move my left arm, I must move my right arm in the same fashion. And this involves the need to twitch my right eye and stretch the right side of my neck – although nothing has been applied to the left. I say it is mild because it does not involve dangerous ideas if I do not do them. For instance, my friend has the same thing, but he believes that his family will be harmed if he does not move the correspondomg side. That is a severe case. I don’t have it, beacuse I don’t have those ideas.
Depression - which I have recently overcome, for the most part – I believe this is obvious. It was at its peak when I was 15 and it lasted for 6 months - usually sleeping for 13 hours a day, not having the urge or motivation to do anything, and lack of comprehension. (For example, when I was depressed I couldn’t understand the first page of Atlas Shrugged - but that has changed now, and I can understand the whole book completely, now that I am happy)
Is this satisfactory for what you have wanted?
–Brian