I am not a doctrinaire objectivist. However, I have read a fair bit of Rand’s fiction and non-fiction and find I substantially agree with the views she espouses.
I can also attest from personal experience that being irrational can be terrifying.
My parents were new-agey pseudo-christians and political leftists. They were, in short, mystics of mind and mystics of muscle. This is a recipe for epic metaphysical and epistemological confusion. As a youngster, I uncritically absorbed a lot of their crackpot views. Their malthusian economics and ecology convinced me that humanity was on the brink of gigadeath catastrophe. I quickly spotted the inherent contradictions in their religious beliefs, and started to grapple with question of life, the universe, their purpose, my purpose and the meaning of it all. The painfully deficient philosophical toolset they equipped me with nearly led me into nihilism, and I suffered from recurring bouts of depression and terror. I even contemplated suicide on a few occasions. My parents, of course, were no help at all (Its probably just a phase. He’ll grow out of it…)
Luckily for me, early exposure to scientific books and periodicals led me to something like logical positivism. (whereof we cannot speak, thereof we must be silent, etc…) I stopped asking big questions, but was able to begin slowly bootstrapping a coherent metaphysics and epistemology. By the time I discovered Rand, I had already fully embraced rational egoism, the objective nature of reality, the epistemological primacy of reason to differentiate truth from untruth (and therefore as the best means of survival), and a laissez faire political economy.
My adolescent experience escaping from the depths of irrationality was enormously traumatic. What’s more, if someone values truth (there are a few of us out there) and is smart enough to spot the most egregious untruths, any irrational system can produce the kind of hopelessness and fear that I spent years struggling through. I’m watching a friend of my younger brother go through much the same thing right now. He comes from a very different background, being raised by very conservative fundamentalist Christians. He’s realised the logical and moral bankruptcy of his natal belief system, but he’s currently flailing around in the darkness for lack of an alternative. He tries to assuage his fear, uncertainty and loneliness through drunkenness and delinquency. I have tried on a number of occasions to guide him gently towards rational philosophy, but while he’s no longer willing to defend the nonsense with which his parents filled his head, he’s not yet willing to to directly entertain contradictory ideologies. Only time will tell how things turn out.
My parents, for their part, mostly seem perfectly content to live an unexamined life founded on fantasy and contradiction. They lack either the desire or the ability of separate truth from falsehood. Yet if you challenge them over some particular point they become agitated and defensive. Any critical examination of their beliefs is taken as a personal affront and provokes anger fuelled by what I can only assume is fear.