TheDudeWow Posted February 8, 2011 Report Share Posted February 8, 2011 (edited) A solitary note rose above the dim depths of the orchestra pit; the signal of a forward scout for his nearing army. Out of the darkness, the resonant echoes of an ethereal march began their approach as a call to defiant purpose ruptured the veil of tranquility strewn across the anxious theater. The battle began in earnest when the initial volleys of noise faded beneath opposing walls of unstoppable sound. Triumphant shots of brass rang out in fierce retaliation to the screams of the assaulting, undulant strings, giving audible life to nameless conflict. The dissonant harmonies clashed in a violent dance of annihilative ultimatum; each force a statement of uninhibited drive. A constant, sonorous pulse of drums throbbed as the plangent heart of struggle, circulating the sheer will of the antagonism present in the vibrating air. The beat unrelentingly escalated in a final, consuming drive for victory mirrored in the symphonic rivals, until all were disarmed with a sudden silence. Edited February 8, 2011 by TheDudeWow Dingbat and Summer 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Iudicious Posted February 8, 2011 Report Share Posted February 8, 2011 You certainly have a talent for writing. Very descriptive, and your vocabulary is more than exceptional. I love the extended metaphor of a battle of sound, it's very interesting. However, my question is: what is the purpose of the piece? It seems like just a single part of something, as if you had torn a length of canvas from a painting and shown it to us. Where's the rest? What does this fit into? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Summer Posted February 9, 2011 Report Share Posted February 9, 2011 (edited) I will not disclose, but you should post the rest. Edited February 9, 2011 by Summer Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheDudeWow Posted February 9, 2011 Author Report Share Posted February 9, 2011 (edited) Conflict- The curtain of maroon velvet rose in response to the deafening applause which followed the combative overture. With a soft click, light quickly spread across a minute circle at center stage, eager to illuminate its sole resident. Within the walls of a pillar composed of citrine brightness stood a woman, facing opposite the crowd. She swiftly turned to her left and, with weightless grace, began to advance towards the edge of the stage when the calm voice of a man called out, “Wait.” He spoke, not a plea to be considered, but a command to be obeyed. The woman halted, but kept her back to him. He slowly proceeded from the shadowed stage and was lit. A tall, gaunt figure emerged from the tenebrious shroud, opposite the woman. He continued his approach,moving with the single-minded resolution of a man crazed with tenacity. Nearing the woman, he reached as if to turn her around. Before his outstretched hands could grasp her shoulders, she pivoted abruptly and stared at the man indifferently with cold, golden eyes. “Why?” She questioned him without genuine inquisition; no answer was needed. “You and I both know the answer to that.” His answer subjugated her interrogation, and the two were silent for a few long moments. She then rotated, looking out over the audience. An onyx dress encircled her thin body, flowing smoothly from slight straps clinging to her pale, slender shoulders down to her stiletto-clad feet. Her short blond hair sat just above the nape of her neck, shining beneath the rays of muted spotlight. It circled her face, and her thin, lightly curved bangs came to rest at the level of her sharply angled eyebrows. Her lips bore no emotion, save a strong, still impasse. Head held proudly aloft, her sharp eyes looked off into the distance in pensive thought. “The things you want,” she paused, turning back towards the man, “you know that you cannot have both. There is no compromise here. There is no middle ground.” “Do you honestly think that anything you can say can stop me? You are surely not the first to claim that what I seek is impossible, and I swear to you, you will not be the first to be correct. Do you know what I am? I am the unstoppable force incarnate. I will not allow anything to stand before me. I do not yield; flee or be razed.” “What happens when the unstoppable force meets an immovable object?” she rebutted softly. He responded to her taunt with a devilish grin of pure audacity. “If you won't be displaced, I'll cut straight through you.” He hesitated momentarily, then continued. “You think very highly of yourself. It would be a shame to fall from the grace of your lofty ideals and end up trampled underfoot like the rest of these sinners.” “A tower of corpses is not the only way to elevate yourself.” “Who said anything about elevation? I'll pull the sky down beneath me and watch it bow. They'll worship at a temple of my own design and sell their precious souls to do it.” “Do you realize that you've been on your knees the entire time?” “I worship no one.” “You've destroyed any possibility for reverence. Nothing matters to you because you've lost sight of meaning.” “My purpose is my own. My meaning is what I make of it. I will do for the sake of doing. I will not stop for the sake of movement. Nothing in this city can hold me back. You see these skyscrapers?” Slowly, the murky stage became aglow with the pinpoints of light in the backdrop. A distant cityscape took form from the obsidian shadows towards the rear of the set. “These will be mine.” She diverted her gaze from the man and swiftly walked away. The now-solitary figure continued to contemplate the buildings before him. “And, in time,” he quietly spoke to himself, “so will you.” Edited February 9, 2011 by TheDudeWow Dingbat 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Summer Posted February 9, 2011 Report Share Posted February 9, 2011 Thank you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheDudeWow Posted February 9, 2011 Author Report Share Posted February 9, 2011 You are more than welcome. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheDudeWow Posted February 9, 2011 Author Report Share Posted February 9, 2011 You are more than welcome. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dingbat Posted February 9, 2011 Report Share Posted February 9, 2011 I like the very strongly, heroic characters, yet at odds. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Summer Posted February 22, 2011 Report Share Posted February 22, 2011 The man is not heroic. He's pursuing a woman whom he cannot have, because his principles are scrambled. He wants power. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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