I was not reffering to when you kissed her. That was the good part. You wanted to kiss her, so you did. Well done. The problem is accepting her "let's just be friends". The proper response would have been: "Um... no.". Don't accept being just friends when you want more. Just tell her straight you want her.
Her confusion, which I doubt, is not your responsibility. If you have an issue, real or inveted, with her behavior, then raise that issue. What you did was you felt(notice the word felt) ignored and pissed. Instead of talking to her you ran away, got drunk and hooked up with another girl.
When you don't show her what you want and don't raise issues you're having with her, she's not going to trust you. That's why she thinks you're dishonest.
The right thing to do is to let her know whats going on with you. Don't put the responsibility of it on her, like "you're causing me to feel this way". Just tell her whats going on: "I feel pissed and ignored". And why wouldn't you put her on the spot 4 days after you kissed? Let her know where you stand on that issue.
Good. Now also notice that the mistake was linked to the previous mistakes. You failed to be straight and dodged the issues, which led to a very poor decision.
I'm not trying to beat you up about it. What's done is done. But, there are important lessons to be learned so you can avoid future mistakes.
Why did you feel that way? She tells you kissing was a mistake and that she wants to be just friends with you. Would it be dishonest not to tell her you kissed someone else? Why? You're just friends, right...?
If you're thinking about it just as friendship you wouldn't have any issue with honesty here. So what if she finds out later? You're just friends!
Atleast I don't tell my female friends when I kiss someone Or, well, sometimes I do but that's because I like to tell them about good events in my life. The issue is, just as aequalsa put it, that you betrayed yourself - not Francis.
I'm not saying it was wrong to tell her. If you wanted to tell her, that's fine. However, there was more to tell. You regard her as more than a friend, something you failed to communicate earlier. That would have been the right thing to tell her: "I hooked up with Julie and we kissed. Now I feel bad about it. I was pissed because I felt rejected. The truth is I really like you and want to be more than just friends".
An update to my situation: before I even told her Francis about Julie, she berated me for being a horrible friend, saying I just want her pain, that I frequently lie to her. I asked for examples of that, but she didn't give me any. When I told her about Julie, she said "whatever, I like don't hate her, not that it's your business". She said she doesn't want someone like me anymore in her life and don't want to be friends. Summarizing, she treated me horribly, and I ended the conversation telling her to remember our great times together and that whenever she changed her mind, I was open to being friends again.
Regarding Julie, I am getting more attracted to her (both her beauty and niceness) by the day. We're going out on Friday.
