Hi,
Thanks for your openness about your painful childhood and your struggles.
I too am from one of those very difficult families and I consequently struggled for years with Social Anxiety, OCD and other problems.
It is really great to be intellectual (I am glad to be so, and am glad you are so), but the intellectual alone will not help you with the malaise you are describing.
You want to explore simple spirituality (pick the version that you like-- that resonates with you personally) and things like 12 Step programs, as well as self-help and therapy.
It's a journey, not a quick fix, but it can really help in the long run (and you can still remain an intellectual, but remember to reserve some space to work at a more simple and basic emotional and spiritual level, in order to allow healing and release from your longstanding suffering).
Oh by the way, it was not clear in your post whether you are merely introverted by nature, or whether you actually have Social Anxiety problems as the result of your childhood abuse-- but in case you (like me) also have social anxiety, here is a wonderful resource for that-- Social Anxiety Anonymous (a nonprofit) has free telephone conference call support and recovery groups for overcoming social anxiety.
Very helpful, at least for me.
Best, CT (Mostly)