wave2124

I agree. It's probably some misconstrued interpretation of the philosophy (wouldn't be the first time that happened). To have a discussion about his perspective on the issue would most likely clear everything up...in a good way. Hopefully. Communication can reveal both positive and negative things, which most likely explains my fear and evasiveness.

Yes I should (and will) ask. But I thought it interesting to know what other people think about this issue. I'm not looking for others to really help with solving this personal problem. I think I stand correct in saying that what's happening here is a bit awkward. I know that I feel awkward, so there's a rational explanation for it. I am certain that he's interested. We are definitely together--there are other concrete ways of demonstrating romantic interest. But I think that this should be done in a variety of ways...not just one way. If romantic interests is demonstrated in various ways across different contexts than its far more consistent and accurate....and no social awkwardness as a result. :-(

This is a question that involves a relatively practical application of Objectivism...although I consider myself more or less well read and able to problem solve on an abstract level, I cannot help but get caught in a rut in certain social, day-to-day situations. When I'm emotionally invested sometimes it's difficult to become impartial and think about whether certain emotions are justified. I have been seeing someone for nearly a year (also an objectivist) and I've been confused as to how I should feel about his neglect to (once in a while) take me out on a date. When I say "date" I mean he has never, EVER actually bought me a drink or paid whenever we have gone out to eat together. Or ever bought me anything just because he wanted to do something nice. Whenever we go out, we try and split everything equally between the two of us. Is it okay to expect that the man you're spending time with once and a while pay for you (especially on the first few dates) and to feel disappointed when this does not happen? Typical social conventions dictate that if a man pays for you he's probably interested in a relationship that extends beyond simple friendship. However, when I went on the first few "dates" with my current boyfriend I had no way of knowing whether he was interested in me because he did not pay. In no way was he in a financial situation that prevented him from investing even the smallest of efforts (buying me coffee, for instance). This causes me to believe that perhaps this social practice isn't arbitrary, that there's a purpose behind it. I don't expect him to spend every cent he has on me at all. I just feel disappointed because his lack of doing this once in a while causes me to feel as if I'm not his girlfriend, just a friend he happens to spend time with. I want to do nice and thoughtful things for him in the same way, but I also feel as if he's the one who should initiate the thought...otherwise, why should I feel motivated to reciprocate? Because of this I sometimes feel uncomfortable in my own relationship...as if the worry of splitting the bill equally is ruining the natural flow of our desire to do nice things for one another and express our value for one another in meaningful ways. Some thoughts on this matter from other Objectivists would be helpful