I was reading an article today about this woman in France who is facing charges for ruining a painting. Now the story would not be that interesting except for 1) the description of the painting: it was nothing but an all-white canvas by an American artist - price of which is estimated for $2,830,000 and 2) the way she destroyed it - supposedly she was so overcome by it she could not help but kiss it - which left a lipstic stain.
So it sounds like a little white out would fix the trouble? 
Wonder what a roll of snow white paper towels can fetch as “Roll Of Nothingness, Or Is It?”
Wonder what a roll of snow white paper towels can fetch as “Roll Of Nothingness, Or Is It?”
Use a roll of toilet paper. Makes a much better PoMo statement.
Well, yes. But paper towels are much more suitable for framing.
The humor in this is that both the offending and the offended actually value the painting.
Let’s see theonion.com beat this!
Fortunately, the original unbefouled work is permanently preserved here.
The humor in this is that both the offending and the offended actually value the painting.
And people say there can be no conflict of interest between rational men… 
Along the same lines, this 60 Minutes story is among the funniest things I’ve ever seen …
Who the &@*#! is Jackson Pollock?
Teri Horton paid $5 for a painting at a thrift shop. Today, she thinks it could be worth $50 million. Why? Because she believes it was painted by abstract expressionist Jackson Pollock. The only problem is, she can’t prove it. . . at least by the standards of the art world. Anderson Cooper has the story of one determined and feisty woman’s 15-year crusade to solve an art history mystery.
The best line … “They call it ‘connoisseurship’.” (“What do you call it?”) “BULLSHIT!”
The humor in this is that both the offending and the offended actually value the painting.
That’s why it’s funny to mock them.
Imagine, if a piece of blank canvas is worh millions, how much money could the New York Times make if it sold off one day’s newsprint at an art gallery? The whole notion is too insane to even be ridiculous. Absurd is more like it.
I hope you guys don’t mind if I take this opportunity to insert a plug for my latest painting, shown below. As an exclusive special offer, you can get it for only $30,425,000–a real bargain! Be sure not to miss this rare chance; the price is bound to go up!
Well, yes. But paper towels are much more suitable for framing.
Framing? Only someone who has bought into the arbitrary value system of a bunch of dead white males would want to put a rectilinear box around a work of art! Leaving off the frame leaves a more organic look to it rather than applying the constraints of a bunch of ice people.
Okay, I’d better stop before I throw up. :dough:
Framing? Only someone who has bought into the arbitrary value system of a bunch of dead white males would want to put a rectilinear box around a work of art! Leaving off the frame leaves a more organic look to it rather than applying the constraints of a bunch of ice people.
Again, yes. But it’s those living dead white males who ahve the money they’ve exploited from the poor and extorted from their ancestors who can afford such exhorbitant prices for paper towels and frames! So you have to cater to their decadent dead white male tastes in order to sell out and clean up.
Okay, I’d better stop before I throw up. :dough:
Moonbatting is easy, but it does extract a heavy price. :lol:
I hope you guys don’t mind if I take this opportunity to insert a plug for my latest painting, shown below. As an exclusive special offer, you can get it for only $30,425,000–a real bargain! Be sure not to miss this rare chance; the price is bound to go up!
Kelly looks around suspiciously to make sure no curators or security is looking, then…
:dough:
Kelly looks around suspiciously to make sure no curators or security is looking, then… :dough:
I hope you were wearing fluorescent/dayglo lipstick so it really shows up.
Again, yes. But it’s those living dead white males who ahve the money they’ve exploited from the poor and extorted from their ancestors who can afford such exhorbitant prices for paper towels and frames! So you have to cater to their decadent dead white male tastes in order to sell out and clean up.
Don’t confuse me with facts. Facts, after all, are another arbitrary construct of our patriarchal, DWM society. Also don’t confuse me with logic. Logic is also a construct of our patriarchal, DWM society.
My apologies to all the delightful Objectivist women on the board for implying–even in jest–that facts and logic are somehow male. Alas, the real insult is delivered by the PoMos who believe this aflattus.Now where is my barfbag? :lol: