Those were some valid points all around, and again what I’m experiancing is more of a mood thing not any coherant thought out way to operate. Let me reply to some of these points raised.
JMegan said “This yen for the new and the challenging sounds like a form of experential whim-worship to me”
Whim Worship as I understand its meaning in Objectivism is a kind of instinctual action - to follow the most immediate “good course”. So an alcoholic drinks because it feels good and sees no consequent actions in his mind when he grabs a drink. This has a moral aspect to it, the drinker is putting his life (“as man”) in danger thus making “Whim Worship” a negative. What I attempt to do is somewhat different. I try to take those morally neutral things I have little experiance with and pursue them because they are outside my normal range. For example a few years ago (when I began experiancing this new kind of mood) I started listening to country music as I had previously ignored it and in doing so actually found how it is good in its own way. Other such “morally neutral” areas would be introversion/extroversion (this one is debatable but not in any critical way to me), attraction to physical/mental behaviour (putting down the pen for a first game of basketball or vice versa). I should also add this attempt to move outside my normal range is not a constant. Doing so constantly is psychologically impossible. I mean to say that when opportunities arise to leap into a different and what I judge as morally neutral spectrum I try to do so.
JMegan said “While this ad-hoc approach to life may be a helpful practice if you’re, say, seeking to overcome a bad habit or train yourself into a better behavior, in doing this all the time you are intentionally disintegrating your consciousness by shutting off your *conceptual* handling of situations.”
What is meant by “conceptual” in that context?
JMegan also said " As I said, you might make use of your ability to break everything down into separate, consciously-identified component parts for a number of reasons, but always with a specific goal in mind. Operating at random is not a state to be sought."
I should add that I have a general goal which I can only describe as making my range larger. In each decision of this kind I ask whether it will make my abilities expand or not - deciding to take up the guitar to open my mind up to music, taking up sports to become athletic etc. A chess master was asked how many moves he could see ahead and he replied “only one, the best one”. These decisions are not random, but they are not part of a great plan either. I took up the guitar because the ooportunity emerged to learn how music is made but I have no over arching plan to become a “guitarist” - being used in a band or what have you. Obviously there are time limits involved and in my time management you can see how I operate as well, setting daily goals as opposed to more longterm ones –> as far as these kinds of acts are concerned. Obviously like most people I have long term goals but these are more of a “moral” nature - finances, family, not smoking etc.
I hope that makes things more clear in that regard.
DragonMaci had good points and identifies some of the more extreme edges of how someone attempting the same thing could end up. I can definatly see how my phrasing could make it look like I fit the description so let me explain a bit better. What is personality?
I see personality as a kind of transaction. The best way for me to describe it is by an example drawn from my impression of Ayn Rand’s greatest novel, “The Fountainhead”. Howard Roark stands at the edge of the cliff, he sees wood for cutting, stone for blasting, great skyscrapers in his mind. In this moment only two things exist - the resources around him and the goal of building great things. Now a secondary observer will see Howard as a “personality”, a great heroic being with pride and diligince, but these ideas are not in Howard’s mind, they are secondary (second hand) to the fundemental process of creation. Howard does not care what another thinks about him, and while he may on reflection see the heroism of his action he does not seek heroism per se but to be faithfull to his great visions and constantly expand his powers to make these visions a reality.
While the Fountainhead seems to not explain his quest to create (if you were able to see it, PM me I don’t want the thread to go haywire) I always thought of it as Roark building each building as his own home giving each of his works a fundemental connection to himself. When I’m at work I always get a sense of my power over my life by working to the best of my ability (a sense offered by pure capitaliam). In this way I gain some sense of self and the responsibility I have to mself to maintain it. However this idea of personality will remain secondary, a reflective element that depends entirely on how I act, something that expands because of my drive to make each action greater, to strive to break through challenges.
Or such are the times that I am proud of myself. Please reply.
Also, I’m seeing qoutes specially laide out on the forum and italics, bolds etc. My Explorer does not “toggle side panel” so I guess I need a new browser.