I keep hearing the word pursue! What does that mean exactly in today’s terms?! Sounds precariously close to stalking! And others have said (Jennifer for one) that u have to pursue a woman BEFORE asking her out. What exactly is this, can u give an example?!
I recently asked out a girl to no avail, and I would like to “pursue” her and ask her out again when a reasonable amount of time has passed. If she truly is my Dominique then who cares how many times I ask her? Who wants a girl that is too easy, right? The 1001th time might be the one? Or is that completely off track? When I think back to girls who wanted to go out with me and I wasn’t that interested, I WENT OUT WITH THEM ANYWAY! And I have never had regrets, so why are some women so prudish?! I would be extremely flattered if a woman never gave up on me. Sigh
First off you might need to chill out a little bit. You don’t NEED someone else to make you happy. There is no hurry. I for one would be kind of annoyed if someone kept asking me out over and over. I might even avoid them like the plague. Keep that in mind.
I disagree. I think the number one rule is “Don’t be desperate!”.
Oh well. I guess I screw that one up all the time.
Here’s the way I see it. The bottom line is the value you have to offer a girl. That’s really the point. Desperation perhaps is a consequence of your achievements, but I don’t think it’s a primary. Focus on achieving in key areas of life to get the girl you desire. There are no guarantees, of course.
Oh well. I guess I screw that one up all the time.
Here’s the way I see it. The bottom line is the value you have to offer a girl. That’s really the point. Desperation perhaps is a consequence of your achievements, but I don’t think it’s a primary.
Explain how desperation could be a consequence of one’s achievements?
I have never quite understood this “desperation” thing or why it’s considered bad. Can someone give me a better explanation. It seem’s to me if you want a female then you should be desperate for her. But maybe it’s just me not really understanding at all how females think. It seem’s like most of their action’s are completely inexplicable and random. It’s like they are alway’s looking from some weird combonations of words from a guy. I’ve always thought of it as some complex lock that is nearly impossible to pick.
I have never quite understood this “desperation” thing or why it’s considered bad. Can someone give me a better explanation. It seem’s to me if you want a female then you should be desperate for her.
Desperation is bad for the man because it leads to him surrendering.
But maybe it’s just me not really understanding at all how females think. It seem’s like most of their action’s are completely inexplicable and random. It’s like they are alway’s looking from some weird combonations of words from a guy. I’ve always thought of it as some complex lock that is nearly impossible to pick.
Can someone give me a better explanation. It seem’s to me if you want a female then you should be desperate for her.
You should be determined.
A determined person is one who is pursuing a great value, knows how he can achieve it, and is acting on that knowledge in full focus and with great energy. He does not hesitate for a moment to give up any lesser values that might be necessary for the achievement of his goal.
A desperate person is one who is frustrated by a chronically unfulfilled wish for a certain kind of value and is willing to take any substitute, no matter how poor. He either doesn’t know how to achieve what he yearns for or is too distracted and incapacitated by his various other whims.
The former is THE kind of person women want, while the latter makes them feel pity at best.
It’s like they are alway’s looking from some weird combonations of words from a guy. I’ve always thought of it as some complex lock that is nearly impossible to pick.
The above should give you a hint as to where to look for the combination.
It is always helpful to visualise your success when you want to succeed. You have to visualise in order to actualise. With women and dating, I often mentally invented conversations [EDIT: involving me and another woman] in my head and slowly altered them until I was happy with the resulting conversation. The act of visualising and tweaking scenarios helped to draw out of me a new and better state of mind.
Anyway, the ironic thing is, the woman would sometimes verbally lambast me. Remember, this woman was just a creation inside my head - I was dictating her every word. The reality is, I was defeating myself. You create your own success and you create your own failure. Think about it.
But maybe it’s just me not really understanding at all how females think. It seem’s like most of their action’s are completely inexplicable and random. It’s like they are alway’s looking from some weird combonations of words from a guy. I’ve always thought of it as some complex lock that is nearly impossible to pick.
Always remember that, to a woman, you represent not only a great potential value but also the potential wreck of her entire life.
If you are female the first things you always have to figure out when meeting a guy are along the lines of “I wonder if he hits when he loses his temper?” “Does he get drunk and lose self-control?” “Can I trust him?” “Is he dependable?” “Is he self-supporting?” And, no one will ever tell you the answers to those questions. You have to observe tiny telltale hints before it’s too late. Sometimes the hints are so minor that they don’t even register consciously, all you know is that something about this guy bugs you and he (possibly) reminds you of someone else that you don’t like, although you may never be quite certain why. If you remind a lady primarily of someone she’s met that she doesn’t like, she is not going to love you even if you are otherwise perfect. She has a trait of yours mentally flagged as dangerous and that’s the end of it. You would have to exorcise that trait in order for her to consider you as a romantic partner.
For men (correct me if I’m wrong, of course), you don’t worry so much about whether a lady is liable to get angry or forget to pick you up or whatever. (You probably should, considering how badly a woman can put you through the wringer if, say, she forgets to take her birth control, but I rarely see men under the age of 28 who are savvy enough to think about this and other things until after it happens.) You think more about things such as: is she good-looking? Is she fun to hang out with? Do I like her?
Just so you know, I’m not complaining: I see this situation as perfectly natural, which is another reason that I detest things like mandatory child support. It is not the man’s job to worry about, say, possible pregnancy. He can’t get pregnant. It messes up the dynamic of the relationship. Likewise, I think it’s very weird to see men fretting over the mental stability of their psycho girlfriends. Contrariwise, I think women that look for a boyfriend that’s “fun” and “exciting” are going to wind up regretting that they got what she asked for.
I could, of course, be wrong about any or all of this.
If you are female the first things you always have to figure out when meeting a guy are…(emphasis added)
While those are the first things, the necessary foundation, I assume there’s more to it. I assume a lot of men would fit the “hygiene factors”, but not all would be of interest. Correct?
While those are the first things, the necessary foundation, I assume there’s more to it. I assume a lot of men would fit the “hygiene factors”, but not all would be of interest. Correct?
That’s exactly what I wanted to remark on. Not setting off the alarm is one thing, but opening the lock is quite another.
Anyway, the ironic thing is, the woman would sometimes verbally lambast me.
When I re-read this sentence of mine it looked rather odd to me, and other people are probably didn’t get it either. I think this is a remnant of social metaphysics I had retained from my former self. It is a common idea that when a man and woman communicate (with romantic intentions) there is a contest of wills going on, a vying for dominance, like a second conversation occuring. I think this is only real if you invent it. I’d be interested to know how other readers took this sentence.
