Questionable/hypocritical Bible Verses

History
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This thread is for the discussion of Bible verses. I don’t only mean ones that espouse altruism and mysticism, but verses that are so creepy that they should even give pause to the Religious Right.

I started this thread because I came across this website quoting certain Bible verses and charging that they “advocat[e] killing and rape.”

I thought, No way! He must be taking these passages out of context.

Well, I checked out Numbers 31.15-18. It looks to me like that website evaluated those passages pretty accurately. Moses tells the Hebrews to kill the Midianites and to take their virgin women as love slaves.

And Moses said unto them, Have ye saved all the women alive? Behold, these caused the children of Israel, through the counsel of Balaam, to commit trespass against the LORD in the matter of Peor, and there was a plague among the congregation of the LORD. Now therefore kill every male among the little ones, and kill every woman that hath known man by lying with him. But all the women children, that have not known a man by lying with him, keep alive for yourselves (emphasis added).

My favorite resource on this subject is the online Skeptic’s Annotated Bible, though its comments are marred by the site’s “secular humanist” (i.e., secular altruist) bias.

You can also see the Numbers verses I quoted in more pro-religious online Bibles here, here, here, and here.

In Isaiah 13. 13-19, it sounds like God is saying that Babylonian women should be raped (He says “ravished”) and their children should be killed.

Therefore I will shake the heavens, and the earth shall remove out of her place, in the wrath of the LORD of hosts, and in the day of his fierce anger. And it shall be as the chased roe, and as a sheep that no man taketh up: they shall every man turn to his own people, and flee every one into his own land. Every one that is found shall be thrust through; and every one that is joined unto them shall fall by the sword. Their children also shall be dashed to pieces before their eyes; their houses shall be spoiled, and their wives ravished. Behold, I will stir up the Medes against them, which shall not regard silver; and as for gold, they shall not delight in it. Their bows also shall dash the young men to pieces; and they shall have no pity on the fruit of the womb; their eyes shall not spare children. And Babylon, the glory of kingdoms, the beauty of the Chaldees’ excellency, shall be as when God overthrew Sodom and Gomorrah (emphasis added).

Ummmm . . . if I were a character in a Japanese cartoon, this would be the moment where a huge ball of sweat drops out the back of my head. :thumbsup:

And I find it strange that the Religious Right purports to champion “family values” when Jesus said that you should prioritize Him above any and every member of your family. In Matthew 10. 34-37, Jesus says,

Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword. For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law. And a man’s foes shall be they of his own household. He that loveth father or mother more than me is not worthy of me: and he that loveth son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me.

And I don’t understand why the Religious Right keeps saying that capitalism is compatible with Christianity, when, in Revelation 18. 3-20, God makes it a point to smite all the merchants of Babylon and send them to hell. See here.

Note that, since the makers of the online Skeptic’s Annotated Bible aren’t pro-free-market, they don’t have any comments about the anti-business message in Revelation.

Of course, I am sure that, for centuries already, many theologians must have found ways to rationalize and “spin-doctor” these passages.

What do you think?

Other questionable Bible verses and/or comments in this thread would be appreciated.

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No suprises here. How about the passage in the Old Testament (one of the books in the Torah) where a man had houseguests and a mob outside the house demanded they be released, but the man released his virgin daughters instead? Or the woman who got her father drunk and then slept with him to get pregnant?

My Bible is packed away in my brother’s basement, since I don’t have use for it anymore. Otherwise I’m sure I could come up with some real winners. Having been raised in a bible-thumping household, I can attest to the fact that these passages are often rationalized away as “cultural differences of the time.” Many pastors spend little time on Jesus’ words, which were pretty radical, and spend more time on the books written by apostle Paul (the latter part of the New Testament). But even Paul said that to die is to gain.

The Bible, and the modern Christian life, is one big contradiction, and I struggled over it for a long time before and after leaving the church. Christians have accepted reason to varying degrees. Most people who regularly attend protestant churches rationalize these types of passages away or don’t spend much time on them. They cherry pick. Those who are Catholic don’t read the Bible, anyway, for the most part. Tradition plays a much greater role in Catholicism.

I’m not really sure what you’re looking for. There are some nice poetic passages in the Bible, but most of it’s nonsense or incredibly boring geneologies. You could take up a lot of space in this thread with ridiculous Bible verses, because most of the Bible is ridiculous!

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What purpose does this discussion serve? Are you looking for material for polemics or engaging in what, in less polite company, would be referred to as “rabble rousing?”

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First of all, the bible, in its whole form (old and new testament) is completely contradictory. One has to remember that with the coming of jesus christ, all of the ‘old laws’ (old testament) were re-interpreted by jesus. From what I have read, the overall theme of the new testament is completely different from that of the old testament. Probably none of the stories that are told in the old testament could be written in the new testament. Although there is no passage to directly quote from concerning this (besides jesus rattling off the sermon on the mount), I think the whole idea of ‘re-interpretation’ of God’s Law is one of the most damning contradictions of the christian bible.

While not contradictions contained in the bible, contradictory beliefs that contemporary christians hold run rampant. I’ve discussed the use of force many times with christians and asked them to try and resolve the problem of pacifism contained throughout the bible. Since many of these people are patriotic (emotionally based), the idea that going to war as being evil, really rubs them wrong; therefore, I get mountains of justifications for the use of force based upon old testament writings. I don’t know if these christians know that the christian bible has a totally changed set of ‘law’ or not, but personally I think the contemporary American christian uses the old and new testaments interchangeably because they don’t know any better.

Here are some striking passages that I’ve collected throughout my reading of the bible. I think all of them would be totally contradictory to the thoughts and principles of most contemporary christians–at least I hope so.

Romans 13:1-7, Submission to Authorities: http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?book_…r=13&version=31 --The Taliban was sanctioned by god.

1 Peter 2:13-15 Submission to Rulers and Masters: http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?book_…er=2&version=31 --13-17 Submit to your dictator; 18-21 Slaves, submit and respect your owners, most of all if he is harsh.

Titus 2:9-10 http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?book_…er=2&version=31 --Slaves, obey your masters so the word of “God Our Savior” looks “attractive”

1 Timothy 6:1-2 http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?book_…er=6&version=31 --Obey your masters, especially if they are a believer, your just helping the cause.

Matthew 5:38-42 http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?book_…er=5&version=31 --“You have heard that it was said, 'Eye for eye, and tooth for tooth. But I tell you, Do not resist an evil person. If someone strikes you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also.”

Matthew 5:42-48 http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?book_…er=5&version=31 “You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be sons of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? And if you greet only your brothers, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that? Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect.”

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No suprises here. How about the passage in the Old Testament (one of the books in the Torah) where a man had houseguests and a mob outside the house demanded they be released, but the man released his virgin daughters instead?

Here’s that one told entirely in the medium of Lego

The Brick Testament

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Here’s one of my most favorite quotes from the Bible:

He that is wounded in the stones, or hath his privy member cut off, shall not enter into the congregation of the LORD.–Dt.23:1

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Here’s one of my most favorite quotes from the Bible:

He that is wounded in the stones, or hath his privy member cut off, shall not enter into the congregation of the LORD.–Dt.23:1

So I guess The Sun Also Rises wouldn’t be popular in heaven then. Hmm. Actually there is also The Evil Bible that basically shows that Christianity, like really any religion, can find passages to justify anything good or bad.

Though I have to agree with Megan that alot of these sites really aren’t interested in discussing comparitive religions but are pretty meanspirited attacks on varying religions without any positive benefits other than ridiculing Christinas etc.

And since the Old Testament is common to the big 3, alot of the ridiculous stories tend to be universal.