Ok, thank you for the replies.
You say you’re a social worker by trade but you’re really an artist. THAT’S why you have no self-esteem; you’re not feeling fulfilled. Reading doesn’t give you self-esteem; achieving your goals does.
Yes, you may got something there. I’m definitely not doing what I want to with my life and it is really depressing. I’m not sure If I’m talented enough to succeed as an artist though…
Being good-looking isn’t really that important to women - we want someone we can respect and look up to. Women don’t want to have sex out of pity with some guy who reminds them of their pathetic kid brother. We want our own personal hero.
Yeah, and I do realise that. But I’m not too sure as to how I’m supposed to be a hero. I’ve saved a guy once who wanted to kill himself and I’ve loads and loads of volunteer work to help other people. I’ve always been very nice towards others. This doesn’t seem satisfying however. My criterias are probably too high.
But let’s back up a bit - why are you asking HERE? Are you looking for a romantic relationship? Re-read your post - it doesn’t sound like it. You say you wish you were a hedonist rock star or something and you want to get “laid.” As you’ve found, the only girls who will go for that are girls who have even lower self-esteem than you do. Go get yourself a hooker if that’s what you want.
No, no. Not at all. I’m not looking to meet anyone from here. What I’m looking for is insights from convinced objectivists. I know Atlas Shrugged almost by heart and I certainly know a good deal about objectivism (or so I believe at the very least). This is why I am posting here out of anywhere. Because I want to improve. My life is not going the way I want it to. The womanising part is just one aspect of the whole deal, as you might’ve guessed.
No, I didn’t say I wanted a hooker. I know you’re trying to make me realise the absurdity of the whole thing, but I do want to have sex more often without necessarily always being in a relationship for it. Is that this unreasonable?
If, however, you want an Objectivist woman, you have to BE an Objectivist hero. If you want to be an Objectivist, you have to start by addressing your self-esteem issues.
Well, I’ve known that for years. But I have no clue as to how to deal with such a thing. I’ve seen therapists and I’ve read shitloads about it without that much change really. What’s the use of knowing you’ve got some issue if you have no clue as to how to solve it?
AFC = Average Frustrated Chump. i.e. “unlucky” with the ladies.
Well to be honest, I’ve managed to get plenty of women. I just didn’t get the women I really wanted.
Or to put it another way: you’re average. But you don’t really care about that… do you?
Well, to tell you the truth, I’d rather be 6’4’’ and be somewhat brawnier, but that would be rather unreasonable, wouldn’t? So yeah I am average height but I am athletic.
WRONG. Don’t care what other people tell you. Count ONLY on your own judgement.
(Incidently, there’s nothing wrong with skinny. But don’t take my word for it.)
I don’t know. There has to be something which we agree as a consensus. A is A, isn’t supposed to be. It’s not the end of the world that I’m skinny. I would like to believe the same way you do, to only rely on my judgement. But, I’ve got this gut feeling (I am aware this is very non-objectivist) that some things can be defined by a certain adjective by most people. Like this person is small or this one is big, same goes with appearance.
If nobody told you that you were intelligent, would you still think that you are?
I would. I do consider myself intelligent. I don’t really have any scientifical proof, but I think I am as I can understand things a lot people can’t. Then again sometimes I doubt it because I don’t understand everything, but then again, listening to reason, who does? Then again how can we ever be certain that we are this or that specific way.
Ask yourself this: do you really want it to work? If you could get a woman to have sex with you every time you wrote something witty, would that fulfill you and give you happiness?
It’d certainly help! 
They actually scare a great deal of men, if that makes you feel any better.
But ask yourself why. Ask yourself what kind of man would not be frightened, and again, why.
I would believe someone who’s got a great job, an achiever with many friends and who’s had many women in their life not to be scared by approaching very attractive women. In other words, confident males. Confidence is as much a mystery to me as the secret of the caramilk (although I’m progressing on the latest) 
.
Stop that. What kind of women do you think they are, if they like you when you’re drunk? Do you really want that kind of woman? No really, ask yourself these questions. What kind of woman are they? It’s not unmanly to try and see things from a woman’s point of view. If you were a female, what kind of attitude and personality would you need to have to fall for some drunken guy flirting with you? And what kind of a man would settle for that?
Well maybe for one night. Listen, I know it might sound immoral to some of you, but I’m not a liar. I’m honest or at least I strive to be as often as possible. So I won’t lie to you. But being a man, I’ve got trouble figuring out what it is that they want. Because being nice and funny and intelligent doesn’t seem to give plenty of results. Well, okay, It does give out results sometimes, but not as often as I would want to.
Why you? That’s a good question. Here’s a better one: Why her? You need to have higher standards - and in order to have higher standards, you have to have higher standards for YOURSELF. And in order to have higher standards for yourself, you need to have self-esteem.
You need to be the one who is selective, not the one who gets selected.
How does one get self-esteem? One of two ways: 1) Submit to other people’s standards, seek their approval by whatever means possible. 2) Set your own standards and principles that you can be proud of, and live up to them.
I suggest you read “The Fountainhead” if you haven’t already, because it is very relevent to this subject.
Well, having better self-esteem has been told to me plenty of times. That doesn’t give me so much of a clue as to how to do it however. I’ve considered buying the fountainhead. I probably will actually. More reading coming up… will it bring any solutions though… only time will tell I suppose.
Who is “anyone I would want” and why would you want them? If I was a woman, you wouldn’t get me, that’s for sure.
And as an aside question: Do you know if you’re in the right forum?
Well, maybe you’re right, maybe you’re not, maybe I could get you, but that’s all delusions anyway, so we can’t know that for a fact.
You know, what I really am looking for is just someone who I find attractive enough that I desire her sexually but who will also understand and accept me as I am while always pushing me to be my best. This is what I am looking for. More than anything.
And I do think it’s the right forum, as everything is linked. A change in one system of life inevitably brings change to all the aspects of someone’s life. And I do think this is self-improvement, or at least at attempt to self-improve.
Thank you though, I prefer questions that lead to some personnal reflections than flat out answers.
Yours,
Etienne