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About Dreamspirit

  • Birthday 07/07/1992

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    romantic relationships possibly or secret intellectual societies
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    I always gravitated towards it!

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  1. Wow, this sounds cool, I'll definitely be checking it out.
  2. When I say adult, I mean like a 30 year old or anyone over 26. I think a 10 year age difference is creepy, no offense. 5 or a few more years after that is pushing it but 10 or more can be called creepy. When I was in high school, many of the other girls talked about seducing the tall, rather decent looking male teachers that were all married with kids and I'm sorry but I think that's way creepy. It's one thing to fantasize in your head but to actually be serious is just weird and delusional. Many teenage girls also do that with sport coaches or counselors at co-ed camps and sometimes it ends up with the police getting involved. College age teens are usually not that immature and stupid, but they can be definitely and they are no match for an adult man over 26.
  3. If I had the gene test done to test for porphyria, I might have had a case, but it is just on the verge of being too late, and the testing is very difficult and expensive. It just makes me very angry to think of all that happened to me and how I was mislead and pushed around.
  4. It didn't turn out the way my sister wanted, and that's mostly what upset me. I would have liked to see all of her good friends from law school and her other close friends see her and I would have liked it if people had done what they said they were going to do, so my sister could have relaxed and worried about things like her hair and makeup. I felt uncomfortable because I didn't know what to do and I knew people were gossiping about and judging my sister and the rest of my family. The mother in law almost kind of reminds me of Lily in Atlas Shrugged, so I guess ignoring these people is the moral thing to do but they try really hard to get a reaction. When I was in the lobby of the hotel, helping set up tables for the rehearsal dinner, the mother in law just kept bumping in to me. If I had have said anything she would have made me look like a psycho. She could tell I'm not touchy feely and don't like hugging people or holding other people's babies so she wanted to paint me as anti-touchy feely, like some kind of oaf.
  5. You're right that relatives aren't always like that because they're religious, but they do use religious basis for their invasive actions and it absolves them from any guilt, which makes it hard to hold them responsible for it. That's what I was trying to say but I didn't articulate it very well, it is a very complicated situation. Feeling uncomfortable is an emotion, and I was only trying to monitor the roots of why I feel that emotion and rationalize it. I don't really make that big of a deal out of it and I never meant to imply that I want to be invasive in her decision making, but I do think she is a little too naive (wants to assume the best about his family because she loves him) and not assertive enough. I would never give my opinion where it wasn't wanted, but you can't stop yourself from noticing something and forming opinions, and because she has been such a great role model and sister for such a long time. I just wanted to know how to not let my energy be absorbed in all the drama when the preacher says such evil things and people are so pushy and forceful about the "right" way to be without lying or making the lives of my sister and brother in law worse. I feel unsure when I am the only one with my head not down and when someone makes a comment about "the lord blessing us" and feel like I'm either being disengenous or brash and destructive (making the couples life harder). I always feel like they know what I'm thinking by looking at my face because after they see my reaction they are often scowling at me and make passive agressive comments directed at me. It's untrue that I have hatred and contempt for his "whole" family, but I do have contempt for most of them because they are blood sucking leeches and use religion to moralize their pathetic, controlling, cowardly actions. They also dictated a lot of things about the wedding, like that Kelsey couldn't have dancing and her mother in law asked her, "How can you invite your friends over our family members?" She invited like 100 distant family members that don't even matter without kelsey's permission and she couldn't uninvite them, so she had to sacrifice the invites she has set aside for her close friends. I don't know what person wouldn't after seeing the mother in law make cruel comments to my confused niece who was recently officially adopted about our family tree and stuff. She made a point of showing her pictures of our family and saying, "hey, this is your g-grandmother," and anyone with common sense would know that is not a good thing to bring up to a young adopted child because she has never met any of those people since they are all dead and it could bring back confusing memories of her previous family that abused her. I know she didn't do those things in good heart because when no one else in my family was in the room but me, she tried to scold her and make her think she wasn't going to be a good flowergirl. No one on her side of the family stepped in. Her sister, who is younger and has been married 5 times made nasty comments to me about getting a lot of dessert at the dessert bar even though many other people were doing it before me. It was something about how she can't eat that because she ate so much and she's watching her weight. The members of the family who didn't have any substance were doing the mother in law's bidding and were on the attack basically and it was very stressful and uncomfortable to go through. There are too many situations to name.
  6. When I find someone I love, I intend to get married in a church, not because I feel like I have to be traditional, but because I would be most comfortable with it and it has a certain charm to it that makes a wedding special. However, I do NOT intend to allow a preacher to make an altruist speech that has nothing to do with my values. Preferably, the person who marries us must not be religious in any way, but I may not be able to find someone who does that and I may have to compromise. You should not feel uncomfortable at your wedding ceremony, it should be about the people's values who are being joined together, not some fake christian bs. Otherwise why even have one?
  7. My sister is probably not religious in any way, but she NEVER says anything about her personal beliefs around my parents so I can't say for sure. I think I may have asked her one time if she believes in creationism or God and she said no I don't think so. She had a very diverse group of friends in college, hindus, jews, muslims, mormons, catholics etc. and would make a lot of comments about how weird some things were in their culture. She is very naive and good naturedly accepts that her husband is religious like it's a fact of life and it's ok. She is either confused and subconsciously accepts christianity on the surface and pretends like baptist values were never not her own or consciously doesn't agree with his beliefs but just ignores them because she likes to be with him and is attracted to him. Even if she thinks she believes in God, religious values are not the values her actions are operated by. I like her husband, we had many good conversations and just observing them together they seem to have cognitive preferances that compliment each other. He is very religious and has occasionaly made some very wacky comments about legends in the bible but being forceful or pushy about it is not his style. He is equally successful and intelligent so I doubt he really operates on religious values either except for the fact that he gives up everything to his blood relatives for their emotional whims, the weak dominate over him and he has nearly gone into debt giving up what he's earned to them. It's really actually quite sad and disturbing, because obviously he's been brainwashed his whole life. It's his crazy religious family that I despize and it is really sad that there are now going to be some of these people in our family. His mother texts him constantly and innapropriately hassles them to have kids because she "wants to see her grandchildren grown up before she dies." And that's just the beginning of the wackiness of my sister's in-laws. My sister isn't sure if she wants to be a stay at home mom and her in-laws act like it's not her decision. What was most sad of all to me was the speech the preacher made before the vows were said though, a message of altruism and suffering to start their lives together was so reflective of the evil in the world and my sister's naive submission to it.
  8. I understand that, but the people who are "just doing the best they can" are confused and think they have to trust based on faith what they are told (ie. maybe by tyrannical parents or friends or relatives) and that's why it's immoral to lie by pretending to pray or accept religion in any way. The people who are naturally rational because of their cognitive abilities and experiences just learn that it's something they have to accept in order to get by in life and they feel guilt and self hatred for their intelligence. If everyone that is rational is disengenous about what they really believe in order to be socially accepted mysticism becomes more widespread and accepted. It's like giving the enemy more power without realizing what you're doing in the grand scheme of things.
  9. I didn't say it had an "evil" effect, it just makes me feel uncomfortable, that almost all the people around me probably believe those things and expect anyone they would respect to be the same way. It does have an evil effect on others you care about to lie though. If no one takes a stand against mysticism things will miserable in a lot of ways. It is never rational to lie that way, because the effects it has on society will come back to you. They act like it is a "necessity" to be selfless (even though they don't even really practice what they preach lol) and be good church goers like them.
  10. Whenever I go to a wedding and a rehearsal dinner where everyone prays and the preacher makes some evil speech about self sacrifice, that no one is perfect, and how self interest doesn't matter I quietly don't participate but their immoralities make me very uncomfortable and I begin to feel unsure of myself even though I'm perfectly aware of the truth (that perfection can be achieved, that real love is selfish etc.). When people pray I ignore what they say and don't put my head down because I don't think it's right to pretend that thanking the lord for everything you have done from your own intelligence is the right way to think. All of the people who subconsciously know what I know and continue to lie feed a chain of more serious immoralities that account for the pitiful state of society which we all have to live in. First of all, I love both of my siblings for their independance and intelligence and that's why I care so much, they have been great role models to me and have taught me a lot. Their weddings were special and they paid a lot of money for them and it bothers me very much that they have to submit themselves to tradition and petty emotionalism from their in-laws. Here it is, my accomplished, independent sister's special day, and she has to pay for the preacher to make a speech about evil values which are not what made her find love or became a successful lawyer. I'm sure many members here have had to deal with these kinds of situations, so I want to know, what is the best way to react? How can you honestly defend your values without enabling their in-laws to hassle them and make their life worse?
  11. It's a love hate attraction. Physical beauty is a value, like anything else and I do value that more than anything else in life, because I have an artist archetype. Physical beauty in a man is a material value to me, like something you work hard to get a big salary so you can pay for kind of thing. It's a sexual comfort, which is just like any other physical comfort, the comfort of your home or car, the taste of the food you eat etc. How good food tastes is definitely more important to some people than it is to others, and so that's why physical beauty in the opposite sex is more important to me than you. I think artist types are more attracted to physical beauty because they are primarily concerned with creating esthetic things, and handsomeness/proportion speaks to their whole purpose. I'm no artist, I'm just saying that I have the inborn psychological tendencies of one. Despite whether they were brilliant or worthless, all people who create works of art have certain archetypal features in common. The sexual attractiveness and sentimentality of him combined with his obvious psychological flaws arouse all the anger I have about the incompetent world and my dramatic self can't help but try to pursue him. I love to feel anger and sexual tension at the same time. It's kind of like the malevolent universe thing on the peikoff podcasts where he gave the example of the painful medicine, people crying at beautiful weddings etc. except anger and drama in a sexual relationship combined with physical beauty of the man are what's positive to me instead of pain or crying paired with beauty.
  12. Well, you can't blame me for thinking that someone's ideas are stupid and immature if they think airline companies should reduce their prices to help poor people get cheap transportation, companies should keep hiring people until they go bankrupt etc. and they just whine and play the victim is situations where their incompetence becomes apparent. He decieves me a lot, leads me on and says he's going to be rational, and then comes back when I'm physically attracted to him and emotionally attached and starts talking about all this wacky religious stuff. That's only part of it, I will refrain from saying any more because it's too odd and hard to explain. The problem is I want someone who looks a certain way, but is also a real man, but sensitive, and it's so hard to find that I just tend to cling to someone who has the right appearance, because that's where most of the physical attraction comes from. There is a factor in his personality that just makes him totally neglectful of the truth, and I'm extremely focused on finding out the truth, it's ingrained in my sense of life. I only decieve people when I feel they are not my rational equals and they are not worth dealing with. I am confused and sexually frustrated by his manipulative behavior and good looks, so I don't see why it's so hard for you to understand why I feel the way I do.
  13. Well of course, maybe I should have used the word "lead" but I think it's kind of a weak word. It feels good when you feel so safe and comfortable with a man that you can just be passive and enjoy him taking care of you sexually and protection wise because you trust him and your values are the same. If the guy is the jerk type it doesn't work though and most are in some form or another. To me it looks like a display of manliness, but to him it isn't, because he's just being what he is. I'm letting him assert his masculinity over me, so yeah it is kind of like a display of manliness, but not like what you're talking about. It's sort of like a game I guess, but in real relationships where the couple's values are the same it is more real, like a protectiveness.
  14. I didn't mean dominate in the way you think, I meant sexually dominant, which is really just a display of manliness. Some women like to feel like they're being dominated it feels intimate, like you really want them. However, being sexually dominant can be a dangerous game, and can easily be unpleasant both emotionally and physically, even for a woman who likes it that way so it's only for the experienced or between serious couples IMO. And when I say "experienced" the man has to pick up on or understand signals and what the woman wants emotionally, and men like that are few and far between.
  15. Some people are better in the bedroom than others. Some people are used to very good technique and average technique sucks to them. This matters more to women than it does to men, because men dominate so the woman's technique doesn't matter as much, or at least it SHOULDN'T, but I've heard a lot of neo age weirdos who think both the man and woman should be perfectly "equal" in how they please the other person. Nature wants the man to take over physically because the man is more psychologically set up to do so and gets things done more quickly, and that is what is most physically pleasing to heterosexuals. As a woman, I'm not worried about intercourse technique, I'm worried about kissing and hand job technique. My problem is that I just get impatient and want what I want, and men don't appreciate that. I also like being touched more than I like touching, and am challenged with hand jobs. It is hard to understand when you're hurting him, when you're messing up etc. with a part you've never had and also because men don't emote at all about that kind of thing.
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