Dreamspirit

Because I have to get an education and some real job experience before I do that, and all the while I am trying to write/read and do my artistic stuff that I really enjoy. It's really hard to manage your own place in a strange place, go to work and school, and make time for writing and self-teaching. I also would rather find a close bf or husband that I could move in with before I do that, for various reasons I won't discuss, and I've got a lot of potential partners that I really like, but they've all got some problems, so I can't move in with somebody anytime soon. I'm so busy anyway that I just ignore the snobby rednecks and it doesn't make much difference. I talk to enough nice people at work and stuff enough to not go crazy. I need to build up a credit history and have some savings before I move to a strange place. If I'm living around here I might as well live with my parents. Plus if I moved somewhere else I wouldn't get all the financial aid I get and that makes it impossible to survive the way I am right now.

That was just a joke, I'm not really into psychologising you know, but I will update my opinion on the subject. I never meant to imply that I think there are no loonies and neurotics. And it's not that I dismiss the prevalence of psychiatric disorders completely (I might have thought that way before) but while studying some diseases and pathology my opinion is now that things like Schizophrenia, OCD, ADHD probably exist, but if they do, they are neurological problems. So called "psychiatric" DSM problems are probably either psychological or have a pathological cause in the body that is hard to diagnose (like porphyria). Anxiety is a medical malaise that probably has a physical cause in the body most of the time and in really severe cases probably a combination of bodily problems and neurological problems. The chemical imbalance theory is just like the old "humor imbalance" belief, it's a convenient way for doctors to explain diseases they can't figure out and develop "treatments" for them. Not all doctors want to cure patients, if they found simple cures then they wouldn't make as much money, psychiatric drugging is a billion dollar industry and it's easy as hell to sit in a chair and make a generalized diagnosis to write a prescription.

I feel sorry for people that are preoccupied with things like that because they miss the big picture. I certainly wouldn't want to be that way. There is a boy I like that I used to spend time with, big strong strapping guy and he had all these weird neurotic obsessions, like the cleanliness of his water, how his food was cooked, etc. He couldn't do anything because he was so preoccupied with such unimportant things. It was also not just phobias, he wouldn't want to leave his house becase it was a certain temperature outside, not wanting to talk to someone because it might be "awkward" and other things like that. He was not gay but people were certainly starting to think of him that way because he was such a sissy. No one wants to be friends with him because it's weird and annoying, people feel restricted hanging out with someone like that. I guess a grammar nazi isn't really the same thing, but it seems like the same category to me.

The funny thing is, my Polish family isn't even catholic, they are episcopal. Of course, they're hated too, because they're the "rich city people" just around here to an extent.

Lol, I'm sorry you are an OCD grammar nazi nut.

Well, I like what I feel are TRULY rational people, but I feel some on here are just trying really hard to be elitist and are actually not rational at all. Most of what I see in that regard is hipocrasy and personal slants. I feel like I really understand Ayn Rand, growing up around incompetence in a vicious plague of irrationality and searching for truth. I had a lot of the same passion for greatness and commitment to morality as her before I even knew her philosophy existed. And when I say feel I don't mean going by emotions, I mean integrating all my experiences and what I know about the world and having a feeling of disgust or dread from that.

I live in the southeast, and some of the idiots responding to this thread keep mentioning that baptists have been known to hate catholics and I have said in many posts that it is the baptist majority that is the culprit of it. It doesn't matter that I am agnostic, they are just irrational, they just associate you with catholics and it doesn't matter what you say you are. You can never be objective if you just disbelieve something someone says because it doesn't occur in your area. I've seen the same sort of horrible, brutish discrimination by WASPS and white Russians against jews. The problem is just not the actual bullying itself, but the social ostracism inflicted by the majority, which is not only emotionally handicapping, but makes it difficult to fit into a social circle, not because the other people are racist, but because that's just the way the social hierarchy works, because most people are irrational and copy the majority. They are "cliquey" but not racist. They don't dislike me, but would rather not associate with me because of the baptist's tribal bias. None of them are even aware of such a thing, but they pick up on their distaste through body language etc. and are not interested in being friends with someone who could ruin their social reputation. Think of it as being like a plague that spreads to all these unlikely places. There is no Polish population in my area, although there is a small Ukrainian/Romanian population. They are semi disliked, but not in the same way Poles are. I knew a Ukrainian girl in my class, and she was kind of shunned just like I was, but she was very smart, studious, and exploitive so she found friends among the academically gifted crowd. I tried to make friends with that same crowd, and I was for a while, but there was a big backlash by them against me for multiple complex reasons and they are the ones who started a lot of rumors about me, so I could never go back to them.

Please excuse me if I came across that googling some stuff and was so shocked by its strangeness that I started becoming delusional I was looking up ghost stories to tease my younger cousin with, and I had been looking up stuff about ayn rand before and somehow ghost and Ayn Rand got grouped together and that came up. I wondered what the other members on here would think of it, so I decided to start a thread about it. Some things I post on here are trolling attempts, but mostly not. Btw my username is a reference to having "spunk" or "spirit" to achieve your "dream" career which in todays society is called that because it is thought of as unrealistic to do what you want in life rather than having a practical, secure job. I don't know, I just made it up. I didn't in any way mean it to be a reference to "Spirits" in buddhism or whatever lol. You would know I'm not a mystic in real life, I'm a perfectly normal person, I'm just fascinated with paranormal stuff and don't have a lot of time to post about topics objectivists would normally like to discuss because I'm always reading and doing other things and it's like preaching to the choir. I like talking about the paranormal with more rational people because there are no religious nuts and people like that to sidetrack the conversation with their silliness.

I take everything very seriously because I had older siblings that used to tease me all the time.

I'm afraid I don't know what you're talking about, porphyria is a very real disease usually caused by an inherited genetic defect. The symptoms are caused by a buildup of toxins in the blood.

I think I know what I may have been suffering from, something with neurological symptoms without a neurological cause, such as porphyria. Psych doctors are not really very well trained in exotic diseases, because they're more trained to think about the DSM, so they're more likely to go with plain ol manic depressive or something like that when a child that age is acting hysterical and strange. Fact is, my symptoms were really not manic depressive exactly (porphyria is actually sometimes confused with it when there aren't many physical symptoms) and even the doctors admitted this. They very defnitively said what I have is undiagnosable and not bipolar exactly although I was suffering from a "manic attack" temporarily (which I think he was using as something to distract from the real physical issue which he couldn't figure out). Let me explain why I think what I had could have been Porphyria. You can inherit a latent porphyria that has no real signs or symptoms until there is some kind of trigger such as fasting (which I was doing, I was 25% underweight remember and eating only a few hundred calories a day), stress (very much), meunstral hormones (I had recently started my period), and too much iron in the blood (which I have been told I have a tendency to collect too much of). The symptoms of porphyria can include insomnia, anxiety or restlessness (I would have to pace around constantly and couldn't sit still because of my anxious thoughts), disorientation, paranoia, confusion, hallucinations, high blood pressure (when I was in the hospital I was marked "hypertensive" but normally my blood pressure is very low), dehydration (I remember I couldn't get enough water), painful redness, itching, and constipation. There are many more classic symptoms, but the ones listed are the ones I had at the time of the "attack." I had these weird skin rashes (and still do) that are extremely itchy out of no where, and then when I itch them just a little bit I get these weird bloody specks under a patch of my skin. It usually forms a little blood scar that lasts for a couple days or even a week. At the time, I also just felt like something was wrong with me, and it is a fact that people can often sense when they are diseased, for example, people with heart conditions sometimes randomely know that they have them even without symptoms. Porphyria patients have temporary bouts of insanity, that can seem very much like manic episodes, but unlike bipolar people, their mental issues go away completely when they're not having an attack because their is no real neurological problem, there is a problem with the blood that effects the neurological system. With all the teen issues I had going on, I can very well see how it seemed like a mental illness, but it really wasn't, I'm quite sure it was a pathological problem in the body. Truly "Bipolar" people keep having serious problems with depression and moods, it never goes away and if you saw me when I was having an attack and when I wasn't, and then compare me to someone who is really bipolar you would see what I'm talking about. This is why even the shrink would admit it wasn't really bipolar (and they really want to diagnose), because I didn't act enough like the bipolar patients he had seen for it to be a correct diagnosis. I was very very confused, anxious, and paranoid, which was causing the emotional craziness and weird behavior. Confusion seems to be the main mental symptom in Porphyria. It is also worth noting that at the time I had been tasting a metallic taste in my mouth and on my breath. I complained of this and I was given an MRI to check for a brain tumor *rolleyes*. That is not listed as a symptom but I'm sure since porphyria attacks have to do with a buildup of toxins in the body it very well could be. I did also have rather dark and concentrated urine despite the fact that I was drinking a lot of water, not as dark as a porphyriacs but darker than normal. But it would make sense for me to have a very mild version of it anyway given that I don't have it now.

I too thought some of the things were pretty off for even an impersonation of her, and I figured they were slanting some of the things she said and making fun of her to make her look bad, however, I do think that this may have been something that actually happened. These two quotes are things that sound very much like something she might say: I hear every word from these imbeciles and I have reached the point where I can no longer allow it to happen. Nobody else has spoken up to these people, so I took it upon myself to speak up and say to them, that which needs to be said. Objectivism is a moral code and not a permission slip for amoral destruction. With all the people out there using objectivism incorrectly for some kind of libertoonian tool I would think this might be something she would want to clarify if she had an idea of what was happening and could be interviewed. I don't think she would say things so goofy in the other two responses though, even in a very casual interview. How could someone even come up with the idea for this for the purpose of a stupid satire joke? I wonder if you could contact the actual people who supposedly witnessed it and ask them if they are really serious.

No, I'm dead serious. I don't see how that blogger could be making it up. It would be a very sophistocated prank if it was.

Yes well, I didn't see anything. I didn't say it was a ghost necessarily, but I was being "haunted." What I heard and experienced could have been an animal and some cold air, but I seriously doubt it since my sister who was in the same room was really creeped and my father had some similar experiences earlier in the night. Ghosts are usually the most rational explanation for hauntings in old houses. I define a "haunting" as someone thinking they saw, felt, or heard a being who is not alive. I woke up VERY cold to some strange scratching and human like sounds as well as the door mysteriously creeping open when I was half asleep multiple times in the night. I tell this to my family and they don't understand how I can remember it, because I was only 8, they think I'm nuts, but I can be sure of what happened. My dad only vaguely remembers that he heard very creepy, strange sounds. I have a very strong episodic memory and I remember little details from things I did, like dogs I petted and toys I played with even from when I'm 2. I don't seem how it makes sense to take all the other ridiculous paranormal theories into account, these sorts of things are very specific to the concept of "ghosts" (whether they can all be classified the same I have no idea but I think the concept is good enough to use). If such things do indeed exist, they are ghosts, because most of the proof pointing to it would only be true if they are indeed dead people haunting the space they passed away in.

http://discuss.epluribusmedia.net/Ayn_Rand's_Ghost_Responds I think it sounds very much like something she would say and I don't see how someone could possibly make it up. Paranormal occurances are usually not covered by the mainstream media, probably due to the lack of explanation for it so I wouldn't be suprised such a wild occurance would be so unheard of. I don't know about you, but I think paranormal beings are very real, because I have been haunted by them first hand and know many other people who have too. I was haunted by one while staying at my aunts house one time as a little kid, and some of my family members were too. I thoroughly believe in ghosts, just don't have a rational way to explain why they exist. People back in the old days couldn't explain why people got a certain disease for example, but they knew it existed, so just because we don't know WHY paranormal beings exist, doesn't mean we can't assume they exist since there is plenty of testimony by many people. It is so funny though, I know exactly how she feels when she says "f*ck you!" over and over again because that's exactly how I sound when I'm enraged and at my wits end with someone.

Baptists are the people that started it and are generally the ones who carry through with it over time while the rest dropped it. I don't know of any individuals around here of Polish descent other than myself. However, there is a large Greek community where I live and I know they get similar treatment. There might have been a few that moved here recently when I was graduating, and I actually overheard someone talking about them in a bit of a funny way, but they were twin boys so since I am a female with no other siblings in my age group you can't really compare my situation to theirs. I know my older sister experienced a similar thing, she never had any friends better than acquaintances, but she never experienced such severe bullying, people left her alone, except for other girls who were jealous of her intelligence. What's funny is she doesn't remember much reference to ethnic discrimination, mostly what she experienced was discrimination because of her intelligence, but I'm sure it was a small factor because back then there were many more baptists, there just wasn't as much bullying. People would see your last name and know you came from somewhere else and hate it. It is definitely discrimination, because any time people think less of you because of your heritage, they are discriminating against you with an irrational basis. I suppose you could say it is more focused on the fact that I am not descended from their culture and come from somewhere else rather than that I am part ethnically Polish, but that definitely is racism or if you want to get technical, ethno-cultural discrimination. I don't view what happened to me as on the same level as an African-American congressman who get's threats and KKK graffiti all over his signs, but it is definitely discrimination, because it effects my life negatively. Blonde hair and blue eyes have nothing to do with it.

Fashion ads are one of the things that I think show more artistic ingenuity than a lot of modern "art." Many are romantic. The backgrounds are often selectively constructed to achieve perfection, and thus imply man has volition. They are the one thing that have inspired me and kept me going. When I was a little girl, I admired them so much and would imagine my ideal life unfolding as a series of them. I think this is definite proof of Ayn Rand's belief about man's need for proper, romantic art. It is funny how they don't lie about what is ideal. Companies want to sell their products to women, and they can't do it by conforming to the modern esthetic standards. Now, some styles and ads are quite degenerate and ugly, but basically they follow a romantic style. http://www.mimifroufrou.com/scentedsalamander/images/nina_ad.jpg http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_DK8CndnRBwE/TIRi4Ki50iI/AAAAAAAABaw/KDHt-9c7dCc/s1600/CK%2520Euphoria%2520nova%2520w%2520m%5B1%5D.jpg http://media.onsugar.com/files/ons4/2009/12/51/346/3463885/379283118f3bbdd6_gucci_spring_2010_ad_1.jpg

That is why a few people I've told don't believe me. My guess is because there is either a bias against them because they are typically catholic as opposed to protestant like WASPs are or because there is some old bias against "immigrant" groups. All I know is, most WASPS in my area, esp German baptists despize them. It may have been that it was just something started by some kids making fun of my last name and they thought it was a good way to insult me. There were other insults unrelated to that but it was mostly "round head" or things related to ethnic jokes. I don't even speak the language or know much about Poland lol, I just have that last name. I always thought about how miserable it was to be defined by your heritage when I was little, I thought it was peculiar but I accepted it because I didn't really know it could be evil.The thing I don't understand is how my Polish last name of all things is related to my family "coming in and making the land expensive" because we have been here for a long time.If my parents had've known the full extent of it they would have gone through the roof though. But I didn't tell them though because I was afraid of it, and accepted that I was bad or gross or whatever, just because I wanted to fit in.

Every day, I face the same racism by country Bumpkins because I "don't look like I'm from around here." I've been told I'm an "outsider" and that people like me moving here from other places make the land expensive. When I was younger I had basically no friends because of this bias and also because my family was not religious. Buddies from school weren't allowed to come to my house because my parents weren't church goers and would tell me right to my face that they don't feel good sending my friend over to my house because of that. They would correct me if I said something they didn't like and treat me very strangely. This continuted on into junior high and high. Individuals would often make jokes like, "how many of you does it take to change a light bulb" and they were intended in a mean way. I got called "round head" "dumb polka" and "ugly slav" and I don't even have those features, it was just because of my last name. People would whisper racial slurs behind my back, told me not to sit near them, threatened me, and I had to take it. I never told anyone because I was so ashamed of it. People refuse to believe this when I tell them, but it is most certainly true. I could go on and on about it, but the gist of it is because of all this I developed an overly introverted personality and don't have many connections or friends. I have also experienced subtle hints of racism in my adult life as well, for example, a boy who I knew well that liked me practically cussed me out when he heard that some of my family is Polish (he asked in response to hearing my last name). He apologised profusely afterwards though. It has been an issue for so long that I've almost started to internalize it or believe it. I have always thought it evil, but you can't help but start to feel inferior after so many people have told you that for so long. I want to move somewhere else, but I have to stay here because of financial aid issues. Do you think young children should be allowed to verbally cut someone down because of their ethnic group? Is that free speech? I don't think so, but I did for a long time.I've always hated being who I am, because people notice me for my last name and not who I really am. I AM AN American! It is a terrible thing for my self confidence. Would it be wrong and defeatist of me to change my name?

I didn't say ordinary non-military folks can't be just as screwed up, but military people do often become screwed up in the head from the stress of their job. These are the type of people who don't care to think, because everything is so "complicated" and "makes their head hurt." They just want to sit around, take their viagra or antidepressant, and do nothing. They're like animals. And I am not psychologising, these are just things I've observed in multiple military people. No, I'm not trying to fix him, I'm just letting him know if he doesn't stop being an immature drifter, I won't ever speak to him again and he'll lose his chance to be with me. I didn't mean to imply that he was my bf really, but he is a potential bf. He is one of those christian puritans who doesn't really believe in dating, but he's become more distant from the brainwashing as time has gone on. The psychologisers never cease to give their unwanted, amateur opinions. I don't give a shit about sympathy, I know very well he has his fair share of schemes and games he plays too. I have chosen not to include his racist attacks against me when he found out I come from a Polish family. The question was simply about whether it's immoral to lie in such a situation.

Oh well, of course, I don't know many people who would love their children as adults no matter what they do, there definitely are people like that though and I don't understand it at all. If I had a kid who flunked out of college with my money for example, that might make me stop loving them. It would certainly make me stop loving them if they became criminals or creeps. If that happened I would want nothing to do with them, even if they were young like 16.

I think the OP meant something more along the lines of them being bratty or doing a half witted thing when they were children or teens, but maybe I'm wrong.

I don't know exactly what you're trying to get at. Children's brains are maturing, they have to learn from their parents. When they are old enough, that is what tough love and punishment is for when they mess up. Humans need a long time to grow up and mature, because we have such large brains, that's what childhood is for, and you have to get them through that stage before you judge them that way. People can choose to have children for very good reasons. Maybe a couple is settling down and just wants to raise a baby? Your children are the people most similar to you in the world (people who are genetically similar have more similar brains, but not interests or morality, those are chosen) and it can be a delightful and fun experience for some people. It's definitely not for everyone, and people who don't want kids just don't understand people that do. It's hard not to feel attached to someone who is so close to you, but if my child was deliberately immoral as an adult I would be attached, but I don't think I would love them anymore exactly. This is the way most family relationships are, love/hate, but it doesn't always have to be that way. I blame it on the declining culture. To suggest that all children shouldn't be loved because they could grow up to be irrational sounds pretty sick to me. Mothers love or are attached to their children, it is just a fact of nature. Maternal emotions are there for a reason, do you think it would be a good thing if everyone was like you? The human race would die out.

@Jake thanks but I know, I researched it. He was honest enough to admit that he had sex with a lot of people and claims that he always uses condoms, yet he didn't use one with me. When I interrogated him about it in an email (in order not to embarass him) he said that it would be extremely unlikely for him to have anything, but that he can't say it's impossible. He was a scumbag and I'm very angry about what happened. He would always repeat, I'm not a bad guy, I'm not a bad guy and would deny any criticism I made against him, but had plenty to dish out to me when I did practically nothing wrong. He would alternate between calling me perfect and then making little criticisms about ridiculous things. Some of those armed force people are just really F*cked up in the head. I should have spoken up and told him that if he wants to go that far, he'd better go get a condom, but he knew what he was doing. That's why I got tested for most of the things that often don't show symptoms like Clamydia, syphillis etc. I think it is absolutely necessary for a couple to get STD tests before they have sex, but before you kiss someone? That is pretty neurotic IMO. Even if I had something that could be transmitted that way (which is very unlikely given that a year has passed and he didn't have a break out) it would still be a very small chance you would catch it. I would have to go down to the health department to get a full STD check (and it would still probably cost money) and that is just creepy. I want to wait till I get a job with health insurance. All the guys who I've ever been interested in or have ever taken interest in me are pretty much equally messed up in the head. What I'm talking about with him is more of a cultural problem. I have watched him change over the years, and males are less mature than females at age 18. It's not that I'm trying to fix him exactly, just make him aware that there's a world out there. The situation is more complex than I can communicate in a thread, I've never felt this way about a person, so I'm willing to give him a chance. The only major problem is that I am kind of gung ho, and he is all gloomy and stubborn, but opposites attract I guess? As we've gotten to know each other he's gotten less like that though, he's just got to get rid of some of his stupid obsessions, which are just immaturity that will probably pass.

He'll be able to handle it (he'll say something like, I don't know what to think about that, or that kind of bothers me), but he won't invite me on a date until he can be sure he's not going to "catch something" from kissing me I guess. It is very offensive and I do feel offended sometimes, but I really shouldn't because he clearly has issues. The only reason I hesitate is because I have a deep emotional connection with him that has carried over for years. He has also been viciously brainwashed by his adoptive jewish grandparents and puritan christian ukrainian father (a drunk weirdo lol). He's young and is a bit socially awkward around girls because he lives in a very isolated place where the people are very churchy and cliquey and he's been in a confused, depressed state ever since I met him, but he is very handsome and his good traits shine through, even though he has some very annoying ones. What annoys me most is that he can't decide about anything and doesn't really want to, but that's really not his fault given how he was trained to think. Right now I'm just trying to convince him to start college and get a driver's license so he can get away from the bad environment with his family. I kind of went through a stage like him except I didn't give up the way he did, but I think this sort of thing gets to males more than it does females.