LeoLover

Thanks for all the great advice. It looks like I'll be checking out the Universal Life Church.

I'm getting married in September of this year and I'm having a dilemma regarding the officiant at our wedding. I'm an atheist and I would describe my fiance as currently agnostic (basically, he doesn't have any arguments against mine but has not yet come over the "hump" to fully declare that there can't be such a thing as God). My family ranges from one Buddist to several agnostics to mostly Methodists. His family include Quakers, Evangelicals, and Pentecostals. I really don't have a problem offending any of them by excluding the concept of God from our ceremony. Afterall, it is our wedding, not theirs. I plan for us to write a rational set of vows together to say during our ceremony. I don't really have that much of a problem with the traditional "to have and to hold" vows, but I think they're unnecessary. My problem is who to have perform our marriage. I know one option is to get married in at the courthouse, but I don't really want that. Our reception is at a beautiful Art Deco building that used to be the train station in Cincinnati, OH, and we planned to have the wedding ceremony at the wonderful fountain in the front. His uncle is a Quaker minister and would undoubtedly be glad to marry us there, but I would feel like a hypocrite. I was just wondering if anyone had any suggestions or could tell me what they did for their own wedding regarding an officiant. I'd really appreciate the advice!

I think I'm in an interesting and slightly different position because I was an Objectivist *before* I developed my problem. Also, my depression isn't continuous. About once a month, I have a 24 hour period in which I don't function normally. My life conditions and philosophy are the same on those days as any of my "normal" days, but I have an overwhelming anxiety aimed at nothing in particular, apathy toward even the smallest tasks or my work, which I enjoy, and really severe moods swings where everyting makes me cry. I also tend to stare a lot at nothing in particular and become what I have come to describe as "lost in my own head." The current management of this problem has just been to wait it out and apologize to my fiance when the mood lifts. All of my attempts to be reasonable and get myself out of it on my own don't work. I just have to wait until I feel better. This is really maddening because I'm losing a day of my life each month and it's really too much for me to ask my poor fiance to deal with. Hence, for myself, I think my problem is physical and I'm going to see a doctor. Along with my mood changes I usually have a severly increased appetite for food and physical intimacy, though paradoxically I don't really enjoy either of them very much during that time. But I think they might be my body's way of trying to regulate whatever hormones are out of whack. We'll see. I want a doctor's opinion. I have friends who have experienced the same thing. I am a very passionate person and I don't want to lose that. Hopefully, medication won't be necessary for me but I'll cross that bridge when I come to it.

I'm in Columbus at Ohio State. I've lived in Ohio most of my life (save for an awesome summer in Seattle at Boeing) and have yet to meet another Objectivist. My fiance is a graduate of Wright State and takes me to the Dayton Art Institute as much as he can mangage. Nice to meet you! P.S. Leo (short for Leopold) is my puppy. He was named by my fiance for King Leopold, after the not-so-nice Belgian, because he thought it sounded regal.

Softwarenerd- Yes, medication was recommended by my current OBGYN, as in, "fill out this chart (a symptom chart), come back and see me and we'll put you on Prozac." She wasn't very receptive to the idea that my current medication was causing the problem, despite the fact that it clearly lists "depression" as a possible side effect. I want a second opinion and I'm seeing another OBGYN in a few days. I want to at least try a different birth control or going off of it before I jump into Prozac. The references I was making when I made my (not so precise) generalization about Objectivists and depression were based upon articles/comments from Dr. Hurd and what I read in other threads on this forum. I certainly didn't mean to imply that this was a universal belief. Also, by "is more" I meant that while I believe the first of your options, it seems like the majority of others I have encountered believe the latter. JMeganSnow- I told my current doctor and she told me not to stop taking the medication. She thought that my condition would probably be worse without it. I'm getting a second opinion soon. I originally began taking the medication about three years ago to help mitigate very painful cramps. However, I think I was more productive dealing with the pain than I am with the emotional problems. Thanks to both of you for the replys.

I looked through the threads on depression, trying to avoid redundancy, but I didn't see anyone address the particular form of depression I am dealing with, PMDD (Pre Menstrual Dsyphoric Disorder). I experience severe mood swings, anxiety, fatigue, helplessness, listlessness, general inablility to function in a monthly cycle. This happens about a week before my period (sorry sqeemish guys) and lasts only about 24 hours, then I "snap out of it." During that time I cry constantly and can't make decisions. I wanted to know if anyone rational (i.e. in this forum) has had any experience with this, either personally or with a loved one. I am currently seeking help from a few OBGYNs and am looking for a competent psychiatrist, though I hope I don't need to go that far. I have been very disappointed with all the literature I have read on the Web that all say the same thing: "no one knows what causes PMDD." That's not good enough for me. I don't want to take an anitdepressant if I don't have to. I don't like the idea of drugging my brain- it's too valuable. I have some theories, but I am not a medical doctor. I didn't have this problem until I started taking birth control medication and think the hormonal fluctuations might be the culprit. Any comments or advice would be greatly appreciated. I really want to fix this problem because it is making me waste a day of my life every month. (Fixed minor typo in title - softwareNerd)

Hi- I am a 23 year old female grad student in Aero Engineering in Ohio. I've been an Objectivist since I was about 19, having read "Atlas Shrugged" at 18. I have read nearly all of Ayn Rand's writings, with the exclusion of the collection or her early fiction and the inclusion of her non-fiction. I have also read OPAR several times. I am currently engaged to be married to a non-Objectivist that is very rational (one of his most amazing qualities) but is not too hip on labeling himself as part of a group. We occasionally argue because I am an atheist and he is more of an agnostic, in that he thinks religion is so unimportant that it's not worth thinking about. I think ignoring the evils of religion is a big pitfall. However, other than that, I am extremely lucky to have stumbled across him at a party. I found this forum while web browsing for an "Objectivist psychiatrist." Subsequent to posting this introduction, I will be reading all the posts dealing with Depression because I believe that I have PMDD (Pre Menstrual Dysphoric Disorder). I know the pervading stand by most Objectivists is that Depression is more a philosophical than psychiatric problem. However, I have a unique position in that I was an Objectivist before and during my experiences and I know that there is something physically wrong with me. I will post a thread for comments and ideas on this issue (specifically the role of hormones) if I don't find one while browsing. So, greetings to everyone- and I am glad to meet you in advance.

I think I would be the poster child for your writings on the fear of death. I'm experiencing some of the physical responses right now, having just read the posts. I mainly feal a deep dread, a knotting in my stomach and racing of my heart. I've read the standard Objectivist takes, especially the thoughts of Dr. Michael Hurd (which I bought in a pamphlet after a sleepless night) and I understand the "death is a nothing" argument. What I can't get over is the state of not existing. My fear stems from the question "How can I not be?" Imagining that sets me into a very unpleasant physical reaction. The fear of my own death is also intertwined with the fear of the death of my loved ones. I didn't even think about death until my father died very suddenly and unexpectedly four years ago while I was in college. That was the first and strongest time I ever felt the finality of death. He was here one day, then he wasn't. Your theory (#4) is interesting, and though it may apply to some, I don't think it fits my case. No matter how long I live, I don't want to *not* live. Dying is final. I don't know what it will be like and I can't fathom not existing. In the end I decided to deal with my fear the same way I dealt with my fear of tornadoes as a child. I learned about meteorology and how to watch the Doppler radar and what to look for in the sky. Then I learned what to do to keep myself safe should I have to experience a tornado. No more fear. Since I couldn't learn about death directly (that hung me up for a while), I instead dedicated myself to doing all I rationally could to prevent it. This meant learing about health. I found that the leading causes of death, including my father's, are chronic, preventable inllnesses (cardiovascular disease and cancer) and that a healthy diet and excercise would allow me to have a lot of control over my life expectancy. Everyday that I eat healthy food and make it to the gym, I know I am adding valuable time to my life. This was actually the remedy for my fear. Feeling in control has been a huge factor. Thanks for hearing my two cents. It was very cathartic.