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KevinD

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Everything posted by KevinD

  1. At one point in her recorded Fiction Writing lectures, AR compares passages written by several different authors, including herself. She says about her own: "Mine is the most masculine" — meaning the most clear, precise, rational and accessible, while the others tended to be looser, often with a "dreamy" element to them. This comment doesn't seem to have made it into the book version of the lectures (The Art of Fiction), and I don't have access to the recordings at the moment. Perhaps someone can locate this comment and transcribe what she said.
  2. I will have to make absolutely certain to miss this show.
  3. Join me on Sunday, January 13, 2013 at 7:00 p.m. Pacific / 9:00 p.m. Central / 10:00 p.m. Eastern for a free, live & interactive Webinar, all about the meaning of masculinity! We'll talk about why understanding this concept is crucial to a man's romantic success. I'll discuss specific fallacies pertaining to what it means to "be a man" which cause men frustration and failure. Both men and women are highly encouraged to attend! It will be an interactive Webinar, so you can ask questions & share comments live. The session is free, however you must RSVP to attend. Go here to register: http://www.LeadingManBlog.com/Webinar Not sure if you'll be able to make it? Sign up anyway, and I'll send you a link afterward to download a recording of the full Webinar.
  4. I sometimes wonder how I ever managed to make a living writing for major publications. To those who have axes to grind against me, I apparently communicate in Sanskrit.
  5. I agree completely with Rand and Branden's decision to keep their affair a secret. All romantic relationships should be private — with the exception of marriage, which by its nature involves a public declaration. (Even then, it's not a good idea to discuss specific details of your love life with anyone but close friends.) Ayn Rand's enemies have had a field day with the revelation of the affair. Can you imagine how it would have been used against her at the time? None of us can know the exact circumstances and context which made this type of arrangement seem to those involved to be an avenue worth pursuing. What we do know is that it was consensual, and there was seemingly no deception. Perhaps the affair was a mistake — then again, it apparently gave Rand much-needed inspiration and fuel during the years that she was writing Atlas Shrugged. (AR initially dedicated Atlas to both Branden and her husband.) I'm usually not too concerned about the personal lives and decisions of others. People are free to do what they want; if they choose poorly, they will suffer the consequences. It's generally better to take an easygoing, accepting attitude toward the issue of love and sex, rather than to risk becoming overly rigid in your approach, and thus puritanical in your thinking.
  6. Here's an excerpt from my recent Webinar for men on humor and playfulness in romance. In this segment, I talk about the role that letting go plays in a woman's experience of romantic/sexual happiness: http://youtu.be/ylvJmHH2HCs I'm extremely interested to hear from women on this issue. In your experience, what does it mean to "let go" in the context of romantic love? What are some of the ways that a man can help you in this way?
  7. "We" is society; we as a culture. Modern academic feminists, for example, despise hero worship and do all that they can to obliterate it. Many of them have probably never heard or read Ayn Rand's ideas on the subject. You can't wipe out an emotion completely, of course, so these intellectuals often aim for the next closest thing: Get women (and men) to regard it as a shameful weakness. People who slime me as "sexist" are not putting forth rational or informed opinions. They are simply venting their resentment toward what I have to say, and what I stand for in this area.
  8. Well, is it and does it? Which of my generalizations do you apparently find unreasonable, to the point of publicly calling my presentation sexist? Many psychological needs are indeed shared by both men and women, however they can be experienced by each in somewhat differing ways. A woman in love might seem that way to a man, but that's only because we are different; our emotional makeup is not the same. I'm very much out to blast the notion that women are irrational and/or "crazy" — a view widely held by men, and tragically internalized by many women. Ayn Rand was correct: The essence of femininity is hero worship. Only once we stop hating and fearing this fact, and take the time to understand its meaning, can we become truly romantically/sexually sane.
  9. Here's an excerpt from a Webinar I hosted recently for men, in which I talked about the role of humor and a playful attitude in romance. In the segment, I discuss how a man can create a relaxing context for a woman, so that she can detach from the stress of her life: (3 minutes) http://youtu.be/-a834CC7BFc
  10. Following the Webinar from which the above audio is excerpted, several listeners asked me if I had read Lori Gottlieb's Marry Him: The Case for Settling for Mr. Good Enough. I had not, but I ordered it and recently received it. I'm reading the book now, and don't want to say much until I've finished it. But the fact that this book has been published (by New American Library), and according to the cover is a national bestseller, ought to give men at least a moment’s pause. Until now, most of the books which address this topic have been strongly anti-settling. Gottlieb's is the first to my knowledge which takes a pro-settling stance. Naturally, the book addresses itself heterosexual women. Most straight men don't read books about relationships, and settling is an almost exclusively female phenomenon. The few chapters I’ve read have been interesting, albeit disheartening and somewhat depressing. When I first saw the book’s cover and read its full title, I couldn’t help but wonder: Does Mr. Good Enough know that he’s 'Mr. Good Enough'? Does the woman who follows Gottlieb’s advice ever say to the man whom she will vow to spend the rest of her life with: "I'm settling for you, darling"? Gottlieb is a cogent writer, and I look forward to seeing how she addresses this extremely critical issue in her bestselling book.
  11. Join me on Sunday, January 6, 2012 at 6:00 p.m. Pacific / 8:00 p.m. Central / 9:00 p.m. Eastern for a free, live & interactive Webinar about the importance of having a playful attitude in romance. I'll be sharing specific ideas and strategies to help make your relationships much more enjoyable, and explain why a sense of lightness and fun is essential to romantic success. Both men and women are highly encouraged to attend! It will be an interactive Webinar, so you can ask questions & share comments live. The session is free, however you must RSVP to attend. Go here to register: http://www.LeadingManBlog.com/Webinar Not sure if you'll be able to make it? Sign up anyway, and I'll send you a link afterward to download a recording of the full Webinar.
  12. Here's an excerpt from a Webinar I hosted recently, in which I talked about the phenomenon of a woman settling for a man whom she's not deeply in love with. In the segment, I explain why men tend to be solipsists in romance, focusing predominantly on their own emotions, while being largely oblivious to the feelings of a woman: (6 minutes) http://youtu.be/4g-zvi-pH9M
  13. Please join me this Sunday, December 23, 2012 at 6:00 p.m. Pacific / 8:00 Central / 9 p.m. Eastern, for a free, live & interactive Webinar on two very important topics that every man who's dating needs to be aware of... Go here for full info & to RSVP: http://www.LeadingManBlog.com/Webinar First, we'll talk about the importance of having a "wait and see" attitude with women. I'll discuss why rushing is the opposite of romance, and how to be skeptical without becoming cynical. Then I'll share my thoughts on a concept I call tepid interest on the part of a woman. I'll explain why pursuing a woman who is pleasant toward you, but is "just not that into you" is virtually always a losing proposition. Armed with the ideas we'll cover in this program, a man can save himself a lot of heartache and wasted time. Both men and women are highly encouraged to attend! It will be an interactive session, and you can ask questions and submit comments live. There is no cost to join the Webinar, however you must RSVP. Not sure if you can make it? Sign up anyway, and afterward I'll send you a recording of the Webinar.
  14. DonAthos: My "good name" does not need to be "restored," and I have no interest in discussing anything with you.
  15. Please do not conflate my ideas about romance and relationships with moral pronouncements. I have never made any statement whatsoever about what a woman — "good" or otherwise — "ought to be." When I have referred a "good woman" in my writings, I describe the kind of woman with whom a man is able to experience a happy romantic relationship. A woman who does not fit the description is not necessarily morally bad (nor "broken"), however a passionate love affair with her is generally made very difficult. A reader who is cognizant of context, and is not working to discredit me, should have no trouble understanding this.
  16. DonAthos: If I objected to my ideas being discussed, why would I post them in a public Internet discussion forum?
  17. JASKN: I can't think of any situtaion in which begging or chasing another person could be considered a positive thing. However, this issue is particularly relevant in the area of romance, and poses a special problem for men for a number of reasons. There are countless instances in popular media, in which a man begging a woman is portrayed as endearing, and even romantic. Also, some people — even some Objectivists — will explicitly counsel men to "chase" women in exactly the way I discuss in the clip. They claim (or imply) that this is what a masculine man does. I want to offer some counterbalance to what I consider to be a dangerously fallacious idea.
  18. Here's an excerpt from a Webinar I hosted recently, about dumb mistakes men make in romance. In this clip, I discuss begging and chasing — two activities which weaken a man, and cause women to lose respect for him: (9 minutes) http://youtu.be/goBK3Zx_BSg
  19. I was wondering how long it would take for you to mention me by name.
  20. I believe this is what they call "performance art."
  21. Here's an excerpt from a Webinar I hosted recently, about dumb mistakes men make in romance. In this clip, I talk about what happens when a man lies to a woman, and why it so often constitutes a major betrayal of trust: (5 minutes) http://youtu.be/gXBjGyHqkSQ
  22. I did answer it — the extent of my professional involvement in romance is my blog, Webinars and other related programs. If I were a trained psychologist or relationship counselor, don't you think I would have mentioned that? A person should listen my advice, if and when they find what I have to say interesting, it matches up with their experience (at least in part), it makes sense to them, and seems as though it might be valuable.
  23. Here's an excerpt from my program for men about meeting & talking to women. In this segment, I talk about the dreaded friend zone, and what to do to avoid it: (4 minutes) http://youtu.be/C6xC_bMkLn4
  24. Join me on Sunday, December 8, 2012 at 6:00 p.m. Pacific / 8:00 p.m. Central / 9:00 p.m. Eastern for a free, live & interactive Webinar: "Six Dumbest Mistakes Men Make With Women." I'll be talking about the most common blunders that hurt a man's cause in creating romance! Begging, bragging, arguing, lying, chasing — these are common activities that turn women off, and make men appear weak. Both men and women are highly encouraged to attend. It will be an interactive Webinar, so you can ask questions & share comments live. The session is free, however you must RSVP. Go here to register: https://www3.gotomee...ister/528516414 Not sure if you'll be able to make it? Sign up anyway, and I'll send you a link afterward to download a recording of the full Webinar.
  25. Anyone who is familiar with the thinking error called rationalism, ought to recognize it in statements like this. In the audio clip at the start of this thread, I mentioned two categories of women who would be wrong for a man to pursue, but who are not necessarily bad people: women who aren't romantically interested in the man, and women who are already in relationships. No matter how great they might be in terms of personality and character, these women are unavailable, and need to be recognized as such. When a man fails to do so, he can go on pining for a kind of relationship that very likely will never materialize. I also talked about women who are overly negative, and/or have poor attitudes. These women can seem sexy on the surface, and might in fact have some good qualities, but experiencing romantic ecstasy with them is generally impossible. There are other types — what about women who seek to exploit a man for his wealth, fame, social status, etc.? Has no "right man" has ever been swindled by a woman who wanted to take advantage of him? It's important to be careful of statements that have a nice ring to them and might sound good on the surface, but upon closer inspection, don't match up with reality.
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