Divorce

[konerko14]

If a married couple always makes rational choices throughout their relationship, does that ensure their love will last? Or is their anyway to ensure that a couple will be happily married for the rest of their lives?

If not, then why do all marriage ceremonies have the phrase, "til death do us part" in it? If theres no way to know if your marriage will last that long, why say it? Of course it would be nice for a couple to be happily married until they die, but it would be an unrealistic goal or expectation.

Also, the obligation one feels from their religion to never divorce is a recipe for disaster, but that should probably be in a different thread.

[Sherry]

That's a good question. I think if a couple shares similiar values and continue to do so and base all their decisions on those values, than they are probably going to stay together until "the end".

However, nothing is guaranteed, is it? People do change, and their values can change. Even married people can grow apart. I think one of thinks it depends on has much each person continues to value the marriage. Communication is really important, I think. I believe the reason that these couples that grow apart either didn't really share the same values to begin with (but didn't know it because they didn't spend enough time communicating what their values were) OR don't communicate very well during the marriage and don't realize they are starting to go down different paths.

[JMeganSnow]

If not, then why do all marriage ceremonies have the phrase, "til death do us part" in it?

Not all marriage ceremonies contain this phrase; this is a Catholic phrasing. Catholicism forbids divorce as a part of its plan to suck all happiness out of life.

Personally, I think it'd be neat to meet someone I could happily spend my entire life with (as opposed to just doing it out of inertia), but like all ideals you can't ever know whether you personally WILL be able to achieve it, so I don't worry about it too much. As far as I'm concerned, there's nothing to sour a relationship beyond all recovery quite as much as the idea that you can't morally get out of it.

[Myself]

Why do you assume that standard religious ceremonies are rational? You don't have to agree to that standard at all. You would hope, going into a marriage that it would last "till death" but there's no guarantee. That's why God invented pre-nups.

[DavidOdden]

If a married couple always makes rational choices throughout their relationship, does that ensure their love will last?

Not unless they are omniscient from the beginning. Reason is a method, so just using reason doesn't guarantee anything.

Or is their anyway to ensure that a couple will be happily married for the rest of their lives?

Nothing general, though of course if you don't do anything that creates unhappiness, you won't be unhappy.

If not, then why do all marriage ceremonies have the phrase, "til death do us part" in it?

I disagree with Jennifer's view that the Catholic church has a plan to suck all happiness out of life: they have in mind to bleed all happiness out of life (they're big on blood) and replace it with false happiness in the form of irrational religious duty. More concretely, to subordinate your free will to gawd.

If theres no way to know if your marriage will last that long, why say it?

I've never said it (except in the context of "Some idiots actually say...").

Of course it would be nice for a couple to be happily married until they die, but it would be an unrealistic goal or expectation.

Meh. I disagree, unless that was a typo for "could". The Holy Bloody Roman Catholic Church is generally down with the idea of confessing the error of your ways, which sorta presupposes recognising and actign (appropriately) on the basis of that recognition, so when you understand that you've made a fundamental error, what's the problem with acting rationally? Ah, right, it has to do with whether reason, rather than faith, is man's source of knowledge.

[psychotrope]

Possessing a strong committment to making the marriage work for as long as possible can be a noble goal, if it is done for the purpose of ensuring your long term happiness. There can be a lot of benefits to staying in a committed marriage. I selfishly hope that my marriage lasts the rest of my life, because I believe it to be in the interest of maximizing my happiness. In that case, proclaiming that we hope to be together until we die is appropriate.

"Till death doest part" might be a bit extreme, but the sentiment can be beneficial when employed as a goal for your own happiness and well-being, and not as an accession to some arbitrary whim of god.

[JMeganSnow]

.Nothing general, though of course if you don't do anything that creates unhappiness, you won't be unhappy.

Bzzzzt,! You will be unhappy unless you act consistently to create happiness. Happiness is not the default state any more than acting in accordance with your self-interest is!