When a person is acting irrationally, they are abandoning reason in favor of animal-like consciousness of operating on the perceptual level. The words involved in throwing around baseless insults are arbitrary and automatic, and often go with the intent of physical aggression if you give into their provocations. While a person has the power to come out of such an animal-like frame of mind or not enter such a frame of mind in the first place, if one is in such a state, that's blind emotionalism as much as a dog.
I like Dante's thinking going on, and I agree with some of it. Depending on the words stated and context of where they are stated, it's possible to "ask for it" in the sense your abuser has stated they're looking for a fight, and gave you permission. But the moral course of action is to not engage if at all possible.