BrentRolfe Posted June 17, 2004 Report Share Posted June 17, 2004 I was listening to a lecture via the ARI site recently and a member of the class asked Gary Hull if he knew of any jokes on the subject of Objectivism. Hull thought he could remember hearing one about how many O's it took to screw in a light bulb........but couldn't remember the punch line ........no one else could think of any. Does anyone here know of any? Regards, Brent Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stephen_speicher Posted June 17, 2004 Report Share Posted June 17, 2004 I was listening to a lecture via the ARI site recently and a member of the class asked Gary Hull if he knew of any jokes on the subject of Objectivism. Hull thought he could remember hearing one about how many O's it took to screw in a light bulb........but couldn't remember the punch line ........no one else could think of any. Does anyone here know of any? It Kant be done. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dondigitalia Posted June 17, 2004 Report Share Posted June 17, 2004 lol @ Stephen Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ZiggyKD Posted June 17, 2004 Report Share Posted June 17, 2004 I don't know of any jokes pertaining to objectivism explicitly, if that's what you're asking for. What I can offer are these links: Humor and Satire Cox & Forkum (John Cox and Allen Forkum are both objectivists) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Betsy Posted June 17, 2004 Report Share Posted June 17, 2004 I don't know of any jokes pertaining to objectivism explicitly, if that's what you're asking for. What I can offer are these links: Humor and Satire Cox & Forkum (John Cox and Allen Forkum are both objectivists) I have written humor with a philosophical theme. One of my humor topics, "You'll know Objectivism is winning when ... ," started out as amusing speculation about "someday" until my readers kept sending me "It really happened here" items. Over the years it has morphed from humor to journalistic reporting but is, as always, the closing item in my CyberNet every month. Then there is my "Secular Judaism" schtick, some of which I have posted on this forum here and here's my (in)famous "Philosophical Computer Viruses Warning." ** WARNING ** WARNING ** WARNING ** WARNING ** WARNING ** WARNING ** Objectivists should be on the alert for the following philosophical computer viruses -- RATIONALIST VIRUS: Increases the number of logical operations per second by disabling interrupts from all input ports. EMPIRICIST VIRUS: Accepts an enormous amount of data, then halts and will not process it. SUBJECTIVIST VIRUS: Generates random numbers and attempts to write them to an input device. DAVID KELLEY VIRUS: Deletes essential components from your operating system, resets critical tolerances to invalid values, and then attempts to take over your system. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scottkursk Posted June 18, 2004 Report Share Posted June 18, 2004 I wish I knew where these came from but a friend emailed these to me a very long time ago. Objectivist Pick-up Lines Universal "If you turn me down, you're anti-man!" "Say, there should have been a chapter in the Romantic Manifesto about your ass!" "What isn't your sign?" "Let me show you what sex qua sex can be." "Why don't you get undressed so I can check your premises?" "Wanna come over to my place and see my Ilona etchings?" "Did you know that nakedness is the highest form of psychological visibility?" "You and I could create a whole other benevolent universe..." "Wow...when they made you they sure didn't omit any measurements!" Girl to Guy "Brother, you're asking for it!" Guy to Girl "Wanna let me come over and break your fireplace?" (Guy is naked) "What do you mean it's not big enough? It's not called the Taggart Transcontinental for nothing!" "Okay, enough epistemology. How'd you like to grasp something a bit more physical?" "Yeah baby. It is made of Rearden Metal." "You're certainly practicing the Virtue Of Sexiness tonight." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ZiggyKD Posted June 18, 2004 Report Share Posted June 18, 2004 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gnargtharst Posted June 18, 2004 Report Share Posted June 18, 2004 Q: How many Objectivists does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: One Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pvtmorriscsa Posted June 18, 2004 Report Share Posted June 18, 2004 Q: How many Objectivists does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: One I can't resist. This one brings to mind another lightbulb joke, I heard many years ago. Q: How many running dog lackeys of the bourgeois does it take to change a light bulb? A: Two. One to exploit the proliteriate, and one to control the means of production. That one always makes me snicker. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
oldsalt Posted June 18, 2004 Report Share Posted June 18, 2004 Stephen, you made me spew my drink of water all over the place! Betsy, love your clever mind. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BrentRolfe Posted June 18, 2004 Author Report Share Posted June 18, 2004 stephen, That was quite brutal.......please don't think of giving up your day job ! scott, good luck with these lines.....please keep us informed (presumably from your hospital bed) how they work out for you! Betsy, now you may have a future in objectivist show business! Brent Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DPW Posted June 18, 2004 Report Share Posted June 18, 2004 If I may pay a compliment to myself: I used to write humor quite frequently on my web log (One fan dubbed me, "The World's Funniest Objectivist" which likely isn't true, but hey, I won't argue). If anyone is interested: Don vs. God 26 things that piss me off - Uh, warning...not for those who like their humor clean No, Seriously: Community Service - This was re-published on The Atlasphere, but I like my original version better Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MinorityOfOne Posted June 18, 2004 Report Share Posted June 18, 2004 Don's pretty damned funny. But he has to compete with Jason Roth of Save The Humans for that title, and that's not easy. His E-Tarded Emails are hilarious, and if you're looking for Objectivist humor, The 25 Most Inappropriate Things An Objectivist Can Say During Sex is classic. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DPW Posted June 18, 2004 Report Share Posted June 18, 2004 Don's pretty damned funny. But he has to compete with Jason Roth of Save The Humans for that title, and that's not easy. His E-Tarded Emails are hilarious, and if you're looking for Objectivist humor, The 25 Most Inappropriate Things An Objectivist Can Say During Sex is classic. Yeah, but I won the Objectivist chicken contest. The question: Why did the (Objectivist) chicken cross the road? My answer: "Because lower animals, unlike man, have no choice but to act for their own benefit and crossing the road was necessitated by the facts of reality, that is, that which benefits chicken's life qua chicken." Besides, I have some Objectivist-related humor of my own: ************************ Bars, it seems, should be a good place to meet women, as drunk girls are easier to trick. But surprisingly enough, I’ve never done well in bars. Here’s a typical exchange. Me: Hey, I’m Don. How are you? Her: [smiling] Cindy…I’m fine. Me: Isn’t Kant f***ing evil? Her: Um, okay. So what do you do? Me: I’m a writer. Can I ask you a question? Her: Sure. Me: Finish this sentence. “A is…” Her: …for apple? Me: Slut. ************************ But yeah, Jason is pretty funny. Yarr. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fred Weiss Posted June 18, 2004 Report Share Posted June 18, 2004 Objectivists should be on the alert for the following philosophical computer viruses -- RATIONALIST VIRUS: Increases the number of logical operations per second by disabling interrupts from all input ports. EMPIRICIST VIRUS: Accepts an enormous amount of data, then halts and will not process it. SUBJECTIVIST VIRUS: Generates random numbers and attempts to write them to an input device. DAVID KELLEY VIRUS: Deletes essential components from your operating system, resets critical tolerances to invalid values, and then attempts to take over your system. I've never seen these before. Where ya been hidin' em? I particularly liked the Empiricist and David Kelley viruses. Harry Binswanger can be quite funny when he wants to be. But my personal favorite Objectivist funnyman of the moment is Charles Novins. You have to go to hpo to see him in full swing. Hpo, for those who don't know it, is a newsgroup which is, shall we say, a bit more free-wheeling than O-O and therefore attracts a number of anti-Objectivists some of whom are sometimes so incoherent or plain stupid that the only thing you can do is laugh at them. When Charles lets loose on one of them it is often utterly hilarious. Sometimes Dave Odden chimes in and then it's ROTFL. Fred Weiss Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DPW Posted June 18, 2004 Report Share Posted June 18, 2004 Harry Binswanger can be quite funny when he wants to be. Yes, and Peikoff as well. But my personal favorite Objectivist funnyman of the moment is Charles Novins. You have to go to hpo to see him in full swing. Hpo, for those who don't know it, is a newsgroup which is, shall we say, a bit more free-wheeling than O-O and therefore attracts a number of anti-Objectivists some of whom are sometimes so incoherent or plain stupid that the only thing you can do is laugh at them. When Charles lets loose on one of them it is often utterly hilarious. Sometimes Dave Odden chimes in and then it's ROTFL. Yes, Charles and Dave are great, but you know who really makes me laugh over at HPO? That Michael Bernst...oh, wait...never mind. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fred Weiss Posted June 18, 2004 Report Share Posted June 18, 2004 Yeah, but I won the Objectivist chicken contest. Yeah, well that was a mistake. The correct answer is: Because he saw a (humanitarian) chicken heading his way. Fred Weiss Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AspiringObjectivist Posted June 20, 2004 Report Share Posted June 20, 2004 Bars, it seems, should be a good place to meet women, as drunk girls are easier to trick. But surprisingly enough, I’ve never done well in bars. Here’s a typical exchange. Me: Hey, I’m Don. How are you? Her: [smiling] Cindy…I’m fine. Me: Isn’t Kant f***ing evil? Her: Um, okay. So what do you do? Me: I’m a writer. Can I ask you a question? Her: Sure. Me: Finish this sentence. “A is…” Her: …for apple? Me: Slut. Hehehehe. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nimble Posted June 22, 2004 Report Share Posted June 22, 2004 i didnt know that Objectivism was funny? well, maybe its not. Unless its in the Simpsons. (haha just joking...see i do have a sense of humor) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DPW Posted June 22, 2004 Report Share Posted June 22, 2004 Speaking of The Simpsons, my brother was watching the Simpsons fourth season DVD, and during the Ayn Rand Daycare episode commentary, one of the show's creators said they got a call from someone at ARI after the show aired who said, "That was very funny! ... Were you making fun of us?" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scottkursk Posted June 22, 2004 Report Share Posted June 22, 2004 Speaking of The Simpsons, my brother was watching the Simpsons fourth season DVD, and during the Ayn Rand Daycare episode commentary, one of the show's creators said they got a call from someone at ARI after the show aired who said, "That was very funny! ... Were you making fun of us?" Any Matt Groening cartoon will make the occasional jab/reference. The Futurama episode where they go into the sewers beneath the city. One of the mutants is explaining that all they have is what is flushed down from above. Like alligators, copies of Atlas Shrugged, and something else I can't remember. From interview I saw about the Ayn Rand Daycare segment, thay pull out Maggie's pacifier to reinforce that it's up to her as an individual to cope and not to rely on the pacifier. Or some such explanation. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kellymeg80 Posted June 22, 2004 Report Share Posted June 22, 2004 Wow, I was just discussing this exact topic with my family last night! We couldn't come up with a punchline for this: Why did the rationalist cross the road? Anyone? Any takers? Betsy, your virus jokes are great! I'm forwarding them and the Chicken contest to my family and friends. It's about time Objectivists learned how to laugh! Not enough of us do! I have a philosophy joke that most people don't laugh at because they don't know what the heck I'm talking about. So if anyone here it familiar with Leibnitz's theory of Windowless Monads, I'll tell Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DPW Posted June 22, 2004 Report Share Posted June 22, 2004 Why did the rationalist cross the road? Premise: All men cross roads in order to get to the other side Premise: A rationalist is a man Therefore, a rationalist crosses roads in order to get to the other side QED Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
danielshrugged Posted June 22, 2004 Report Share Posted June 22, 2004 I think Kant is just phenomenal. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kellymeg80 Posted June 22, 2004 Report Share Posted June 22, 2004 I think Kant is just phenomenal. *rim shot* We ought to get a drum set for this thread :-P Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.