K-Mac Posted February 16, 2009 Report Share Posted February 16, 2009 (edited) I'm curious how Objectivist women deal with PMS. (Sorry guys!) I know as we age, our hormone levels change and such, and I've been on the same birth control for years now, so I plan to discuss the situation with my doctor, but I'm just wondering how rational women deal with this very irrational time of the month. Sometimes I realize I'm PMSing, realize I'm being overly sensitive or sad or whatever, yet I can't make myself stop. If I were home alone with the dog, I wouldn't care so much, but when I'm with people I value, I know this behavior can harm the relationships. I certainly don't want that. Is it possible for my mind to override what the chemicals in my body are telling it to do? Edited February 16, 2009 by K-Mac Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
~Sophia~ Posted February 16, 2009 Report Share Posted February 16, 2009 Is it possible for my mind to override what the chemicals in my body are telling it to do? Yes, I find that to some degree you can. This won't eliminate the problem completely but it will make it better. I experience rather strong monthly blues on occasion yet to a large degree, I can talk myself out of feeling blue. I don't get bitchy or irritated - for me it is being sad. I realize that it is not real in terms of life events (nothing bad has happened) or my self evaluation. It is gone in a day or two. Instead of dwelling on those emotions - I keep reminding myself that - the cause is chemical and temporary and that it is not "me". I got better at this type of self control with practice. While it is happening I make sure to ask myself more often than usual: Is this reasonable? - before I react. I also try not to make very significant life decisions at that time. Most things can wait few days. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
K-Mac Posted February 16, 2009 Author Report Share Posted February 16, 2009 Well, my partner is very good about saying calm and talking things out with me, but then that just makes me feel guilty and sad. So I go from being angry and hostile to guilty and sad. I just want to kick a puppy or something! I do tell myself it's only temporary and stay away from making important decisions and all, so that's good. Now I've just got to figure out some way to get through the aggression. I thought working out would help, (I did the elliptical, the rowing machine and lifted weights yesterday, till I was so tired I couldn't go on) yet I still felt like kicking a puppy! Maybe the doctor can help with the rest? I hope so. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
~Sophia~ Posted February 16, 2009 Report Share Posted February 16, 2009 I thought working out would help, (I did the elliptical, the rowing machine and lifted weights yesterday, till I was so tired I couldn't go on) yet I still felt like kicking a puppy! Try the opposite. I climb a local mountain with high elevation gain over a short distance few times a week after work when the season is open but at that time, physically, I am not able to make it to the top even though I just did it few days back. So - I instead take it easy. I may watch my fav comedy instead under a comfy blanket. You like crafts - so do something artistic. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
K-Mac Posted February 16, 2009 Author Report Share Posted February 16, 2009 That's a good idea. My scrapbooking has been neglected for a long time now. Thanks! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
~Sophia~ Posted February 16, 2009 Report Share Posted February 16, 2009 Even worse part of women's biological nature is what happens after pregnancy. While pregnant at some point "happy chemicals" kick in and you feel much more emotionally resiliant. You have this internal calmness, you feel like, whatever happens, you can handle things. And then right after you deliver - and I mean like almost the moment after - when this huge responsiblity is placed on your shoulders - just after you feel worn out - when you are tired and not sleeping - that is when the happy drugs are being turn off at once. It would have been better if they were never on - because now you are going through withdrawals (things seem worse than otherwise). Intelligent designer - my ass! More like a trick of a lepricon. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maximus Posted February 16, 2009 Report Share Posted February 16, 2009 Ladies, as a female friend said on another forum: "PMS ... just kill something and have some chocolate, then you'll feel better." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
K-Mac Posted February 16, 2009 Author Report Share Posted February 16, 2009 Right! But what can I kill and get away with it? lol! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JASKN Posted February 17, 2009 Report Share Posted February 17, 2009 I couldn't relate exactly to PMS, but I am a very moody person. For example, when I don't get enough sleep, often I am grumpy. It used to be I might snap at friends or family, or yell at strangers, or say rude or cutting things. And every once in a while I'll get real choked up about virtually nothing, or find odd things sad. It's ridiculous! Sounds a lot like PMS. Eventually I realized what was happening. It appears to be hereditary, and my Dad (who gets the same) would point it out for me. I took a couple cues from how he deals with it, and it works out pretty good. I've been paying explicit attention for some time now, so I can usually become aware that I'm doing it after the very first sign during that day. If I am affecting someone else, the first thing I do is apologize for whatever offensive behavior I delivered. Usually I don't offer an explanation, I just apologize. After that, when I am more aware for the day, I can get through pretty well until I can sleep that night. I am careful about what I say, and when I start to get angry about something I immediately try calming myself down by considering the context of whatever is making me angry. If I get sad, I usually just let myself get sad while knowing that it is just because I am tired. It is usually easier dealing with tired sadness than tired anger. Most people seem to be very forgiving if I apologize right away, and otherwise I can deal with myself at this point just fine. Maybe none of that is applicable to PMS, but to me PMS just sounds like a period of exaggerated emotions. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JMeganSnow Posted February 17, 2009 Report Share Posted February 17, 2009 Right! But what can I kill and get away with it? lol! You need a cathartic shoot-em-up video game with loud sound effects. Blam! Take that you bastard! BLAM!! No one cares if you're killing imaginary aliens. On the other side, you'll probably hate me because I don't really have emotional PMS, just the physical complaints which are plenty bad enough. In fact, I usually wind up experiencing a bit of euphoria because I feel *so* much better once the initial pain starts to recede that it's like an energy rush. From what I can tell, though, it's like any other time when I'm in physical pain: I have to focus really hard on simple tasks so I become utterly single-tracked so DON'T TALK TO ME. I can't see that I want to kill someone any more than I usually do when I feel like crap and they won't leave me alone. From what I've seen, managing PMS seems to come down to a series of semi-experiments where you learn how to anticipate and manage the way *your* body works, because everyone's PMS is different enough that what helps one woman has absolutely zero usefulness for another woman. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
themadkat Posted February 17, 2009 Report Share Posted February 17, 2009 I don't really get PMS as far as I can see, but I am someone who has such violent (literally) mood swings that I border on bipolar disorder, if I don't have it outright. I also live with a very loving partner who I desperately do not want to get the brunt of this (unless perhaps he deserves it this time ). I find that all coping strategies break down into two main categories: will, and withdraw. Willing my way through it, I just set my teeth and focus all my energy towards self-control and functionality, which is doable but difficult. I recommend this for when you have to do something important and/or be supportive for someone you care about. The other option, withdrawal, is something like a safety stand-by mode. More or less you go off on your own, away from folks, and sort of zone out. Finding distraction is recommended for this method, like music or the aforementioned violent video games. Good luck! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
K-Mac Posted February 17, 2009 Author Report Share Posted February 17, 2009 Thanks for the input, everyone. I've noticed as I age that my PMS changes. (Gee, I can't wait for menopause! ) I have been through extended periods of time with few or no symptoms, then I'll go several years with awful symptoms. Right now, the only symptom I'm having is of the emotional variety...sad and angry, and often at the same time. Usually, just keeping to myself works, but now that the fiancee lives with me, I'm going to have to try something else. Funny that Jenny mentioned the video games...he suggested that too! (I think it may just be a ploy to get a game console.) Also, I wanted to tell you ladies that since I have been taking my multi-vitamins the way my doctor has been telling me to for years and years (particularly calcium), many of my PMS symptoms have vanished. If you are not taking calcium, go get some! http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2005/06/14/...ain701603.shtml Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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