Audio: Stop Falling in Love with Women You're Not in a Relationshi

[KevinD]

Here's an excerpt from my recent Webinar for men, "Nine Things You Need to Stop Doing With Women."

 

In this segment, I talk about the mistake of allowing yourself to become emotionally wrapped up in women whom you're not dating. I share examples from two popular TV shows (The Office and Friends) which illustrate the prevalence of the error of a man falling in love with a woman "from afar":

 

http://youtu.be/mpKYTtmEM20

 

You can download the full 44-minute program via this link:

 

http://LeadingManBlog.com/9Things

Edited March 14, 2013 by FeatherFall
Request of OP

[secondhander]

Ooh. You and I are going to have some fun disagreements, I can tell already.

 

I am at work and haven't watched the video yet. I'll watch it tonight in a bit. But I'll say this much based the text: The problem is not about having feelings of attraction for multiple other people other than your girlfriend. The problem is "falling" in love in the first place.

 

You don't fall into love, like you would into a hole. That's merely infatuation, often caused by confusing sexual desire with deeper feelings of bonding love. It's impossible to love someone you don't actually know, and you can't know someone really well after only a day, a week, or even a month or two. You grow in love with people. In just the same way that you don't have a "best friend" after a day or a week of knowing someone (unless you're a weird, clingy, creeper dude), you also don't fall in love with someone (can't) after that amount of time. You grow to love people. People who think they've "fallen" in love are simply infatuated and sexually interested.

 

I hope your video says something to that effect. I'll find out tonight.

[secondhander]

Well I'm back to report after listening to the video.

 

First off, you have a good speaking voice.

 

Second, I'm happy to say that we agree on most all of the major points in your video. In fact, I used almost the same language in my post that you did in your video! That makes me happy.

 

But don't fret over losing out on the chance for some fun disagreements. I can tell there are fundamental issues regarding relationships, that peeked through in passing comments you made (and from some reading on your site) that we would disagree on big time.

 

All that aside, I applaud you for the work you've done on the website and videos and teaching. Nice work.

Edited March 17, 2013 by secondhander

[MDRNPRMTV]

If this interests you read The Gift of Fear by Gavin de Becker. A fantastic read and I hand it out to almost everyone I care about. As a self defense instructor these are the EXACT scenarios that individuals must be prepared to deal with in an educated fashion. Awesome job! 

[Nicky]

Secondhander, in the title Kevin talks about loving a woman you're not in a relationship with. You're talking about women you don't know. There's a difference, most people do in fact know women they're not in a relationship with. And those are the women they fall in love with, not strangers.

Edited March 17, 2013 by Nicky

[secondhander]

Secondhander, in the title Kevin talks about loving a woman you're not in a relationship with. You're talking about women you don't know. There's a difference, most people do in fact know women they're not in a relationship with. And those are the women they fall in love with, not strangers.

 

No, that's not what I'm saying, Nicky. I'm talking about women whom men know casually or as acquaintances, and many men "fall in love" with them before they actually know them well. And I believe that's what Kevin is talking about too. Did you watch the video?

Edited March 17, 2013 by secondhander