dianahsieh Posted January 8, 2014 Report Share Posted January 8, 2014 I loved some of these stories about coming out in 2013, but I particularly enjoyed the comments of these two men: First, “Chris Cheng, the Season 4 Champion of the History Channel’s Top Shot, came out of the closet in mid-December in an interview with gun magazine Recoil.” He said: I was pleasantly surprised when other competitors found out I was gay. They were either indifferent or accepting. The most common response I received was “Chris, we don’t really care that you’re gay, we care about how well you can shoot…the better we all shoot, the more exciting the competition will be…” I suppose this affected the house dynamics in that I never heard any gay pejoratives during my six weeks there. The shooting community was honestly one of the last places I expected gay acceptance on any level. That really caught me off guard, in a good way. It’s how life should be, where no one cares if you’re gay, straight, or somewhere in between. We should be evaluated and judged based on our skills and accomplishments. While I was hoping to break some stereotypes, some of my own stereotypes regarding the shooting community were also broken. It was an enlightening experience. That’s awesome, and not surprising to me, based on my experience with fellow gun enthusiasts. Here’s another tidbit from him: While it’s something my friends and family have known for years, I believe now that I have become a television personality and public figure, it is important to be honest and upfront about who Chris Cheng is. Thankfully, tolerance and acceptance are contagious. Being gay is no longer something to hide…One reason why I chose to come out publicly is that I’m a gay guy in a gun world. Hunters, sport shooting enthusiasts, and collectors are too often stereotyped as part of efforts to politicize guns as we witnessed last week on the anniversary of the horrific Newtown tragedy. Take it from someone who in a single package is not only gay, but Chinese, Japanese, California-born, a college graduate, a tech geek who worked on cool Google projects, a gun enthusiast and a passionate 2nd Amendment advocate. Our community is as diverse as anyone’s. Second, “Irish actor Andrew Scott, who plays Moriarty in the BBC1 series Sherlock alongside Benedict Cumberbatch, spoke publicly about his sexuality for the first time in November when asked about Legacy, a BBC2 drama about spying between the UK and USSR during the Cold War years.” He said: There isn’t a huge amount of footage of Russians speaking English as a second language, so I started looking at Vladimir Putin videos on YouTube. But then Putin introduced anti-gay legislation this summer – so, being a gay person, I switched to Rudolf Nureyev videos instead. It was another Nureyev defection of sorts! … Mercifully, these days people don’t see being gay as a character flaw. But nor is it a virtue, like kindness. Or a talent, like playing the banjo. It’s just a fact. Of course, it’s part of my make-up, but I don’t want to trade on it. I am a private person; I think that’s important if you’re an actor. But there’s a difference between privacy and secrecy, and I’m not a secretive person. Really I just want to get on with my job, which is to pretend to be lots of different people. Simple as that. Hear, hear! Link to Original Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JASKN Posted January 9, 2014 Report Share Posted January 9, 2014 It almost seems unbelievable that the US has already partially arrived at the point where "coming out" happens in casual conversation, not as a focused spectacle. A decade ago, when I awkwardly had a conversation with my mother about the nature of all my future sexual activity -- what "coming out" really boils down to -- she was honestly afraid for my future personal safety and quality of life. At the time, I could see the writing on the wall (Will & Grace was already a success) and thought she was overreacting, but I definitely didn't entertain the thought that I'd live to see homosexuality become a non-issue, even regionally like it already has become. Gays are just too wonderful to hate, I guess. In fifty years we'll be loved even more for all the extravagant Xmas gifts we'll shower over our loved ones, using all the extra money we haven't spent on kids we don't have! softwareNerd 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thenelli01 Posted January 9, 2014 Report Share Posted January 9, 2014 (edited) I dislike the phrase "coming out of the closet", as it implies that he has some obligation to tell the world. More specifically, it implies that gays, by default, are trapped in a closet, hiding their sexuality. Hiding it from whom? Society, of course. And society demands that information as if they have some kind of right to it. If you are gay or whatever, great. Embrace it and enjoy life, but why does he have to announce it and tell the whole world (including random strangers, acquaintances, etc.)? The only reasons I could think of why gays might want to "come out" is: 1) to meet other gays or people on the "DL" (because I recognize how hard it is for gays to find quality relationships, which is largely accountable for their promiscuity). 2) to normalize the idea of people being gay in culture and help other gays that are struggling (be a role model, show that gays aren't all like how they are generalized, help end gay bashing, etc.). 3) to feel completely yourself, like you aren't "hiding" anything (because most times you are assumed to be straight unless you are blatantly feminine). But, I oppose this whole notion that anyone has a right to the information or that it is so significant that an announcement needs to be made. Society clearly isn't at the point (yet) where this is completely understood, which is why I hold #2 as the best reason to make an announcement. A few more NBA players or NFL stars coming out might transform "coming out" announcements into more of a nuisance than a news story. I am looking forward to that day. Edited January 9, 2014 by thenelli01 softwareNerd 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
whYNOT Posted January 9, 2014 Report Share Posted January 9, 2014 Absolutely, and well said guys. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DonAthos Posted January 9, 2014 Report Share Posted January 9, 2014 I dislike the phrase "coming out of the closet", as it implies that he has some obligation to tell the world. More specifically, it implies that gays, by default, are trapped in a closet, hiding their sexuality. Hiding it from whom? Society, of course. And society demands that information as if they have some kind of right to it. I know you're casting "coming out of the closet" as an obligation to the world, or to society. But when you ask "hiding it from whom?", isn't it the case that homosexuals have often felt the need to hide their sexual identity from even those closest to them, like friends and family? I recognize that now celebrities sometimes give press conferences or have big magazine spreads to announce their sexuality, but doesn't the idea of "coming out of the closet" initially stem from keeping these kinds of things private from even those closest to you? Refraining from saying, wearing, doing, etc., things that you want to do -- and would otherwise do -- except that you do not want others to know your sexual orientation? It could still be a question, I suppose, as to whether this phrase reflects any "right to information" of such friends and family. But in terms of "privacy," I think it standard that people share certain information with loved ones. While my parents weren't privy to every detail of my romantic life as I was growing up, neither did I strive to hide it from them when I was dating a certain girl, and sometimes that provided the subject matter for some conversation -- because loved ones often share personal details with one another in that manner. If I had felt compelled to keep those things a secret from my parents for whatever reason -- perhaps shame or fear for their reaction -- then I think we could sensibly say that I was "in the closet" in some manner. Again, I'm not sure that it means that we believe my parents have some sort of "right" to know the details of my life...? But if I'm hiding personal details from people, where otherwise I would freely share that same information with those same people -- if I feel driven to keep some part of myself a secret -- then I think that is meaningful. I believe being "in the closet" captures that meaning. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
whYNOT Posted January 9, 2014 Report Share Posted January 9, 2014 Within the normal bounds of privacy, perhaps. It's like coming out, in order to choose to go back in, isn't it? Back in the late 60's we were a fairly staid bunch, but my parents would've been shocked to know what I was getting up to. But it was always my own business which nobody had a right to know about. That it happened to be with girls is neither here nor there. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thenelli01 Posted January 20, 2014 Report Share Posted January 20, 2014 (edited) I know you're casting "coming out of the closet" as an obligation to the world, or to society. But when you ask "hiding it from whom?", isn't it the case that homosexuals have often felt the need to hide their sexual identity from even those closest to them, like friends and family? And why do you think this is the case? The idea of "coming out" is propagated by an irrational societal view that sexual orientation is morally significant. The cure, in the long run, isn't to endorse the concept of "coming out", that just perpetuates the irrationality in a vicious cycle. The cure is to change societal views to make "coming out" unnecessary and undesired. Edited January 20, 2014 by thenelli01 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JASKN Posted January 21, 2014 Report Share Posted January 21, 2014 The idea of "coming out" is propagated by an irrational societal view that sexual orientation is morally significant. The cure, in the long run, isn't to endorse the concept of "coming out", that just perpetuates the irrationality in a vicious cycle. The cure is to change societal views to make "coming out" unnecessary and undesired.Actually, the cure you speak of is exactly what's happening. You could consider "coming out" as a step along that continuum of decent societal views of sexuality. There's a lot of historical context to consider, but here's just one: it wasn't even 50 years ago that most people considered divorced *heterosexual* couples to be disgraceful. And of course gays still get beat up and shamed just for being gay in most of the country still today. So, DonAthos is right. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thenelli01 Posted January 21, 2014 Report Share Posted January 21, 2014 (edited) Actually, the cure you speak of is exactly what's happening. You could consider "coming out" as a step along that continuum of decent societal views of sexuality. That is what I said in my first and subsequent posts.... A few more NBA players or NFL stars coming out might transform "coming out" announcements into more of a nuisance than a news story. I am looking forward to that day. The cure, in the long run, isn't to endorse the concept of "coming out", that just perpetuates the irrationality in a vicious cycle. .... So, DonAthos is right. Right about what? Edited January 21, 2014 by thenelli01 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JASKN Posted January 21, 2014 Report Share Posted January 21, 2014 That is what I said in my first and subsequent posts.... [...] Right about what? I read your second post as a disagreement and had forgotten about your first post (mobile view didn't show me again). I guess you don't have a disagreement after all? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thenelli01 Posted April 9, 2014 Report Share Posted April 9, 2014 (edited) Another athlete coming out: http://www.nj.com/college-basketball/index.ssf/2014/04/derrick_gordon_umass_sophomore_and_nj_native_announces_he_is_gay.html Very nice story. To clarify: the point of the first part of my first post [#3] was to challenge the idea of "coming out" out of context -- out of the context of a predominantly heterosexual / anti-gay society. The second part was recognizing the legitimate reasons, in this context, why gays would want to "come out" and how athletes, families, role models coming out is a step to curing the poison of irrational societal views. In the long run, when enough athletes / respected people come out, it will slowly change societal views towards gay. And the notion of "coming out announcements" will become invalidated -- making "coming out" stories a nuisance, rather than news. There wasn't really a disagreement, maybe poorly written on my end. Edited April 9, 2014 by thenelli01 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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