Jump to content
Objectivism Online Forum

Objectivist Jokes

Rate this topic


Recommended Posts

The Evolution of Math in America

Teaching Math In 1950

A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is 4/5 of the price. What is his profit?

Teaching Math In 1960

A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is 4/5 of the price, or $80. What is his profit?

Teaching Math In 1970

A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is $80. Did he make a profit?

Teaching Math In 1980

A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is $80 and his profit is $20. Your assignment: Underline the number 20.

Teaching Math In 1990

A logger cuts down a beautiful forest because he is selfish and inconsiderate and cares nothing for the habitat of animals or the preservation of our woodlands. He does this so he can make a profit of $20. What do you think of this way of making a living? Topic for class participation after answering the question: How did the birds and squirrels feel as the logger cut down their homes? (There are no wrong answers.)

Teaching Math In 2008

¡Un hachero vende una carretada de madera para $100! El costo de la producción es $80.

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Replies 119
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

Can I try bureaucrat jokes. Hey, who's gonna stop me?

1) Teacher: what does your fatehr do?

Student: he's a bureaucrat.

Teacher: What about your mother? Is she a bureaucrat also?

Student: No. My mom works for a living.

2) Two bureaucrats are walking along a corridor when one of them turns around and steps on a snail.

"Why'd you kill him for?" asks one.

"he's been following us for the last 20 minutes!"

3) The head of the DMV Workers union assembles all his workers.

"I ahve good news and bac news." he tells them. "The bad news is the department is going online and the city no longer needs us to work." Naturally the membership stirs and begins to grumble. Hurriedly the head says, "Hold on! Hold on! We'll keep our salary and full benefits. We only need to come in Wednesdays and reboot the servers.

Immediately a hand shoots up and a union member asks "Every damn Wednesday?"

Link to post
Share on other sites
Are the typos part of the jokes? :P

Probably not. I wrote them rather late, after a long day dealing with various bureaucrats.

Anyway, they're good ones!

Thanks. Here's a related one:

Joe uses his pull to get a job at the city's transit department. On his first day his boss tells him "Take this key. Your job is to empty the parking meters on Third Street between Elm and Oak."

Six months later Joe gets summoned to the human resources department. The HR director tells him "Joe, according to our records you've been employed here for half a year, yet you've never drawn a paychek."

Joe says "Oh? I get a paycheck too?"

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • 2 weeks later...
How many years does it take Objectivists to change back the law so that people are free to choose their light bulbs? Now that's a question I'd like to find the answer to soon! ;)

Thats really funny

but the reality of it is sad/maddening at the same time. As if our government couldn't make any dumber laws.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Q: How many bureaucrats does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: One to file the burnt-out bulb incident report form, one to review and reject the incident report form, one to petition for an appeal of the rejection of the incident report, one to reject the appeal filing form, one to appeal the rejection of the appeal, one to leak to the press the fact that the federal budget is so stingy there isn't even enough money for lightbulbs, citing as proof the burnt-out bulb that hasn't been replaced in seven weeks.

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • 2 months later...

You know what I find interesting? People still often call followers of Objectivism "Randians" because they're either throwing forth an ad hominem or are unaware that Rand said followers of her philosophy are called Objectivists.

The reason such people are called Objectivists is because Ayn Rand developed an entire system of thought, and gave a name to it. She also gave a title to those who follow it. The difference with other philosophers is that there are some who have developed an entire system of thought, but never have given name to it. So for those people who follow those unnamed philosophies we have to call them something deriving from the original philosopher's name. For instance:

Aristotle: Aristotelian

David Hume: Humian

Immanuel Kant: Kantian

Bishop Berkely: Lunatic

Plato: Platonic

Edit: It's subtle...

Edited by Benpercent
Link to post
Share on other sites

A policeman goes to the new town barber for a haircut. When he tries to pay, the barber says "No charge, sir. I couldn't charge a cop, when he does so much to secure my rights." Next day the barber finds a big box of donuts outside his shop.

A soldier goes to the same barber, who again refuses payment. "I coulnd't charge you, son, not when you risk your life for my liberty." next day the barber finds a big box of exotic souvenirs and memorabilia from all over the world putside his shop.

A state legislator goes to the same barber. Again the barber won't take any money. "No charge, sir, not when you help check and balance other government powers." Next day the barber finds every state legislator waiting in line outside his shop.

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • 2 weeks later...

Once upon a time, there was a boy who loved to read Ayn Rand's novels.

He was so much 'into it' that in order to 'ascertain' whether a female acquaintance of his was 'date-worthy', he decided to give her an 'open-book test' on The Fountainhead.

The test contained a list of questions about the novel's plot and the test-taker was allowed to refer to the novel to find the correct answer.

Unfortunately, during the test, while the girl was going through the novel to answer a specific question, she became so engrossed in one of its passages that she completely forgot about the stupid test!

When the boy politely (always the perfect gentleman) tried to remind her about his test, she came out of her 'reading reverie', informed him that she was borrowing the novel, and went home to read it at her leisure!!

Later, while chatting with his buddies, he said he had learnt one valuable 'lesson' from this 'horrible' experience:

Never hold an 'open book test' on Ayn Rand's novels. A 'closed book test', maybe, but definitely not an 'open book' one.:P

Link to post
Share on other sites

You know you're an Objectivist when...

someone looks in the direction of a skyscraper to see just what it is you're staring at.

You know you're an Objectivist when...

you cringe when someone says " it works in theory, but...".

You know you're an Objectivist when...

you're not confused when someone says AS, VOS, TRF, TRM, OPAR, ITOE, CTUI, or WTL.

You know you're an Objectivist when...

you've cited "unwillingness to sanctioning immorality" as a reason for doing anything.

You know you're an Objectivist when...

You show resentment about the company kept by the lone copy of AS in your local bookstore.

Edited by avampirist
Link to post
Share on other sites
Once upon a time, there was a boy who loved to read Ayn Rand's novels.

He was so much 'into it' that in order to 'ascertain' whether a female acquaintance of his was 'date-worthy', he decided to give her an 'open-book test' on The Fountainhead.

The test contained a list of questions about the novel's plot...

This boy is lame. That's a stupid attitude to have, and I can't find it funny, not even in a context of a joke.

This test is like saying "let's see if you're smart: Where is Australia?" - What does the location of Australia have to do with ability to think? :D

Edited by ifatart
Link to post
Share on other sites
This boy is lame. That's a stupid attitude to have, and I can't find it funny, not even in a context of a joke.

This test is like saying "let's see if you're smart: Where is Australia?" - What does the location of Australia have to do with ability to think? :P

Ifat,

The joke is really not about the boy giving a test to his girlfriend on an Ayn Rand novel. In fact, the narrator does call it a stupid test.

Rather, the humor is about how engrossing/riveting Miss Rand's novels are that it would probably be not such a good idea to hold open book tests on them. Even for schools that teach literature.:-)

In other words, when it comes to humor, one could (like Francisco d'Anconia) laugh at things because one sees something much greater in them.

At the same time, one could also use humor to ridicule the things one has contempt for. And that includes people (like the boy) who take an intrinsic and/or rationalistic approach towards the art and philosophy of Ayn Rand.

Ramesh

Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Loading...
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    No registered users viewing this page.

×
×
  • Create New...