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Help me to help my brother?

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Adleza

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My brother Asa is almost 14, and very bright. Unfortunately, for a father he has a man who could play James Taggart in a movie without having to act. My mom and step-dad are fairly reasonable people, but their influence on my brother is paltry compared to my dad's influence (for many reasons). My dad was physically abusive in the past (until I started telling community members and nearly ruined his reputation), but for some reason still has 1/3 custody of my brother, so has plenty of time to indoctrinate him with backwards thinking. When I visited home last, Asa and I had an argument regarding communism- both the general philosophy of it and the actual political implentation of it. Like most young Communisists, he hadn't thought very carefully about it, but wouldn't budge very far on his positions- he figured I was just being mean, or I didn't know what I was talking about, or I just wouldn't listen to what he was saying... This is just one conversation among various other behavioral things- he is losing the sense that he should think for himself, or that he has to take responsibility for some things, etc.

Asa would not be inclined to read any of Rand's non-fiction, and I can't give him Atlas Shrugged or the Fountainhead because of the sex involved (I know what he talks about to his friends, but my mom would FREAK out). My mom and step-dad are also a bit suspicious of this whole Objectivism thing anyhow, and will object if I start sending him things by Ayn Rand. (My mom thought Rand had some sort of connections with the KKK.) Knowing that I am no expert on Objectivism, how do I avert this potential disaster? I would point him to these forums, but he can only use the internet when my mom is in the same room with him.

Thanks for any input- he has gone from a pretty fun kid to insufferable over about a year. :)

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First, Adleza, don't drive yourself crazy trying to avert a theoretical disaster; in the end, only your brother is responsible for the content and scope of his intellectual activities. You cannot think for someone else, and if you were to try the result would be worse than if he arrived at all sorts of contradictions and errors by himself.

I also have two younger brothers that are being brought up not to question certain fundamental "truths" and I would like them not to imprison themselves in this doctrine. The best method I have discovered is not to bombard them with information but to present a certain informational context.

My method is not to argue when they present an idea (especially one they haven't evaluated), but to say, "Yes, but what about this?" and leave it to them to think about it.

Other books (than Ayn Rand's) can also help establish this mental context; Harry Potter is good, along with Philip Pulman's His Dark Materials trilogy. Many books by Robert Heinlein are also good, especially (politics-wise) The Moon is a Harsh Mistress.

In my experience adolescents like reducing everything to a simple list of concretes (Communism Good, for example) and become very upset when anything challenges that. Their world is in flux, they need something to hang onto. Later, their world will begin to appear static, and then they will start to reach out to the things they remember that challenge that assumption. I think, if you give your brother enough things that challenge his assumptions, he will begin to think about them when his life settles down.

I'm not an expert on child psychology; this is just based on my own experiences and my two brothers, but maybe you can derive something useful from it.

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The good news first: Most communists grow out of it.

If your mother would freak out about Rand's non-fiction too, then I'd respect her wishes in her house. Otherwise, I would get Asa to read the first essay in VoS, "The Objectivist Ethics".

As his sister, you're the one who understand how to motivate him to read it. Challenging or daring him? Rewarding him? Saying you'll read the first 50 pages of "Das Kapital"?

I went through a communist phase and read VoS when a friend gave it to me. I took the book thinking, "how stupid can a writer get...let me see what is about". I was around 14 too... what a journey.

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Thanks both of you. I'll try to keep in mind that he IS a youngish teen. I'll see about getting him that essay- As a side note I don't think he has actually read any communist materials. I had my own wanna-be commie phase that lasted about 6 months and was stopped abruptly when I read Marx's Communist Manifesto, ironically enough. Everyone always says "It looks so good on paper," but it doesn't- it looks incredibly stupid on paper. But at any rate, thanks for your comments.

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Everyone always says "It looks so good on paper," but it doesn't- it looks incredibly stupid on paper.

I thought exactly the same thing when I had to read it :dough: It reads like a teenager who's screaming because he's been sent to his room for not picking up his dirty socks! :)

I think the advice given has been great. I especially like the idea of having him read the actual works, as well as fictional works by non-Objectivists with clear, positive messages. One book I might recommend is Mary Shelley's Frankenstein. While the story was built upon the idea of "man should not interfere with the works of God", it also discusses the idea of personal responsibility for one's actions in a very dramatic sense. (Although, admittedly, a 14 yr old may not like the vast passages of nature descriptions).

I also strongly agree with JMeganSnow's suggestion of bringing up alternate ideas for your brother to think about. As you've noticed, sometimes arguments just result in butting heads. Giving the "opponent" time to think about different ideas in a non-confrontational manner will allow a better opportunity for discussion, as opposed to argument. You might also reverse this in a way that can display your passions towards the world. Other than the problem of not sharing Miss Rand's works, you could take your brother with you on some excursion that you enjoy (whatever that might be). Even if it's as simple as heading to a fast food joint to grab a burger :> Spend a little time just being his sibling. The patience will pay off if you couple it with opportunity.

From a basis of psychology, I might hesitantly suggest that you avoid purposely provoking him into an ideological power struggle. At this point, as others have noted, he's in an age of flux and all this action would amount to is a heap of resentment and distancing. If he wants to discuss his political ideas, give him an ear. But if he insists on your point of view, lay down some ground rules as to the nature of the discussion, (ex. No name-calling, must present ideas backed by fact, no yelling, etc) so that you can actually have the discussion. Just don't allow it to degrade into a situation where it's provocation after provocation. It's worthless at this point, gaining nothing for either side.

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Many books by Robert Heinlein are also good, especially (politics-wise) The Moon is a Harsh Mistress.

If your mom is concerned about sexual content, I don't recommend too much Heinlein. Heinlein was a big fan of sex: lots of it, and wierd stuff (like going back in time and having sex with one's own mother, for example, in Time Enough for Love).

I haven't read The Moon is a Harsh Mistress so I am unaware of its sexual content. Most of the Heinlein I've read has been fun, but some parts I just can't grok. :)

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speaking of Heinlein, I heard STRANGER IN A STRANGE LAND was good as well, though I can't comment on the amount of sexuality because I haven't read it.

Of coursem, if it is PG-13 Heinlein you want, you can't go wrong with STARSHIP TROOPERS. It's funny how many people labeled him "fascist" after that one, but much of what he has to say in the "history and moral philosophy" classes are quite poignant.

Edited by the tortured one
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I haven't read The Moon is a Harsh Mistress so I am unaware of its sexual content.  Most of the Heinlein I've read has been fun, but some parts I just can't grok.  :)

TMIAHM has very little sex in it at all; most of Heinlein's books are not explicit, either. Given, there are a few odd things in it like group marriages, and the fact that men outnumber women on the Moon 2:1 is also an important part of the story, but isn't your brother 14? I think he could handle anything Heinlein can dish out.

It's been a while since I read Stranger in a Strange Land, but I recall not enjoying it much.

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  • 2 weeks later...

Thanks for all your input- been away for a while. I think for now I will just stick to talking with him without any mention of a particular philosophy. Try to appeal to his intellgence- I think it will be easier without presenting discussion as a particular thing. Also that way if he talks to my dad about any of it, my dad will be very hesitant to say to my brother that I am stupid (he'd be quick to label Ayn Rand or Objectivism as evil).

As far as Heinlein, strangely enough my dad has been pushing Heinlein on my brother (and did to me at his age), and my mom hasn't said anything so... who knows? :)

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I very much enjoyed The Moon is a Harsh Mistress. It was interesting, even if it didn't have the *best* philosophy. I didn't think it had anything overtly sexual in it. Certainly nothing that a teenager can't handle.

BTW (related to above book)~Does anyone know if the Professor, when he said that he could "get along with Randites," meant Objectivists? The book does mention John Galt in passing later on, so it's not altogether unlikely. Just curious...

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