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I am an atheist and have been for quite some time. It all started somewhere in my Freshmen year of high school (coincidentally, the year I read my first Rand novel). Before that, I went to a catholic school--"forced" isn't the right word but its the first word that comes to mind. I stem from a prominent religious family and now that I am in college and speak with my folks on the phone, they generally will ask me if I have found time to go to church at all. I just mumble no and change the subject when I really want to yell, "I HAVE NOT BELIEVED IN THAT TRASH FOR YEARS!!! I WOULD RATHER GET HIT BY A TRUCK THAN ATTEND THAT HEAPING PILE OF BULLS**T!!!" :thumbsup:

Point being, they obviously don't know i have transcended religion or faith and have ultimately become a better person because of it. NOW, I call upon you and ask (if you have a somewhat similar family to mine) "Do your parents know that you are an atheist?" And also, how did you break it to them? I just can't think of there being any way to tell my family with out them shunning me in someway--maybe i should just never tell them...

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You can convince only those people who are open to an honest philosophical debate. But those people are often already atheists or agnostics.

So the only option is science and history. To "reach" religious people you have to go on the same level as they are, i.e. discuss the bible.

The interesting thing about the bible is that it isn't just 'some story' but that it actually corresponds to reality, it's just that over the time people began to think that that what is in the bible was meant literally.

Instead the bible is a story about the movement of the stars, winter and summer, sex, drugs and some social issues, i.e. everything that was relevant in ancient cultures. When you can convince them of that you basically have 'won'.

I very much recommend the documentary "Pharmacratic Inquisition" which is a collection of the research that has been done in that field:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tnvEHObMMH4

At least it helped me convincing my family.

Edited by Clawg
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It was a slow process. Both becoming an atheist and telling my parents. Long after I stopped going to church, I told them "I don't know what I believe" (at the time, it was true) which was easier for them to swallow than "I don't believe in God." Eventually, I told them outright that I am an atheist. They were a little upset, but they got over it.

If they are biblical literalists, then they might have a hard time ever accepting it. However, if they accept that parts of the bible are metaphorical, then you've got the crack in logic to exploit: "If you know certain parts of the bible never really happened, how do you know the rest of it did? I simply disregard the bible altogether, as it provides no real answers."

It's important for you to live a moral life and to be outright about your atheism, as you can be living proof that atheists aren't all nihilistic, immoral, savages that the religionists tell themselves.

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Thankfully, I live in a country where atheism was enforced for generations, so I don't have problems because of it. My mom may get bitter, but that's the worst thing that had ever happened to me.

I should tell, however, that I loved science from very youth, so my humanist vies were never a surprise to anyone.

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I went to a Christian academy and until my Senior year was a Christian. My parents sent me there for non-religious purposes ( Hyperactive child ). I don't know if they know I'm a straight up Atheist, but they know I'm anti-Religious and they really could care less as neither of them have been to a church in years. My sister knows more about it, and she's become a born-again in the last few years. She thinks it's sad that I'm so hostile to Religion but she also knows I'm a lot more well-read in the subject than she is and refuses to discuss things with me on a deeper level.

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My parents know. It was over 20 years go, while I was still in high school, so I don't recall exactly how I told them. My father at first tool it as growing pains, a phase to get through. When he realized I was serious he became very upset.

My parents aren't religious. They go to synagogue mostly for the high holidays and social events like weddings and bar mitzvahs. My father insisted I attend at least for Yom Kipur. I resisted without much luck. Finally I pulled off a John Galt. I went, yes, but I volunteered nothing. When told to sit, I sat. When told to stand up, I stood up. When told to pray, I said I didn't know how. Of course that made him mad. Later that evening I told him "You can make me go to synagogue. You can even make me mouth the words in the prayer book. But you can't make me believe." That was the last time I went to a synagigue for anything other than a wedding or bar mitzvah (these I regard as social occasions, I'd attend a christian church for a wedding, too, were I invited to one).

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My parents both know, and don't have a problem with it. My father is, if anything, more anti-religious than I am. (His first marriage broke up when his wife converted to some flavor of fundamentalist Christianity.) My mother is agnostic. I used to tell people that my parents stopped going to church so I wouldn't have to.

My grandfather didn't take it so well, however. I inadvertently revealed my non-belief to him in a side comment, and he reacted pretty badly at first, refusing to continue to speak to me. But he calmed down a bit later and spent a few years trying to get me to join the Freemasons, of all things. (I gather he was a member of one of the more socially-oriented Masonic lodges.) I'm not sure if he ever reconciled to my atheism, but as it became apparent over time that I was a moralist and was leading a successful life the pressure dropped off.

I had a similar experience with a grand-uncle of mine who was a minister. We had several conversations about God and religious belief, which ended peacefully when I told him I believed in absolute morals and a concept of the spiritual. (I didn't tell him that I take it to mean "pertaining to consciousness", but why confuse the 90 year old man with details?) He passed away recently and I kind of miss him. He was quietly decent, even though religious -- definitely one of the good ones in that camp.

Abstracting from concrete events, my experiences lead me to think that a significant part of the resistance to atheism comes from people who think the only choices are between religious belief and subjectivist whim-worshiping. They fear that when someone they love is an atheist it means they're on a path to self-destruction. The only way to assuage that fear is by demonstrating over time that you are not on such a path. Do that and the more rational will eventually accept. Those strongly committed to religious irrationalism will not, but you can't deal profitably with such people in any event.

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I very much recommend the documentary "Pharmacratic Inquisition" which is a collection of the research that has been done in that field:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tnvEHObMMH4

At least it helped me convincing my family.

Any way to just buy the DVD? I simply cannot download over 100 minutes of video; I am on dialup.

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Any way to just buy the DVD? I simply cannot download over 100 minutes of video; I am on dialup.

I'd question if it's worth it. The DVD doesn't look very reputable, from the first ten minutes I've watched. I couldn't find much about these guys online, except that one of them is an archeoastronomist or some such, which is a valid subject in itself, but I don't see how it gives him the credentials to make claims about the Bible. I have yet to be convinced these guys have the evidence, basically, to back up their claims in relation to the Bible.

As for the main topic: it's up for you to judge. Will your life be in danger if they find out? If not, go for it. They might be upset, but then, don't run it in their face. You don't exactly have to gather round the family and 'come out'. You can simply just say, next time she asks about Church attendence, that you're not going anymore, or that you're an atheist. I get the impression you're at College? Unless they're paying for you to get through, it doesn't sound like anything adverse will happen if you tell them.*

N.B. This is not advocation of lying or being dishonest to get a reward. This is simply a statement that when people get emotional, they can act irrationally, and will make promises and do things at the time that they wouldn't have normally done.

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I'd question if it's worth it. The DVD doesn't look very reputable, from the first ten minutes I've watched. I couldn't find much about these guys online, except that one of them is an archeoastronomist or some such, which is a valid subject in itself, but I don't see how it gives him the credentials to make claims about the Bible. I have yet to be convinced these guys have the evidence, basically, to back up their claims in relation to the Bible.

They more or less summarize in a compact form what other researchers have found. If you want something to read I'd suggest to first check out the literature from for example John Allegro, one of the researchers who translated the 'Dead Sea scrolls'.

But when trying to convince other people there is a difference in throwing them a book in front of their feet and showing them a video where they can look at star formations and pictures of mushrooms ;) The only thing one has to accomplish is that people question what they believe in.

The DVD is available at http://www.gnosticmedia.com

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BWT, it's really strange to see the people thinking that "coming out" as atheist is probably more difficult than coming out as gay. What's with America?

I mean, all religious people I met were very bitter when I started talk about their faith, they were struggling to evade how irrational their faith is. I know, there is a whole history of violent eradication of religion in my country, but I just don't get how anyone who finished college can be so preachy and righteous.

Edited: fixed ambiguity.

Edited by lex_aver
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I've been atheist since age 13, which is for 22 years now. When I was about 14 or 15, for some reason my brother spilled the beans about his own atheism and so I got questioned too. I just told the truth, and all I ever got in return was a quiet stern stare from my mother. Nothing remotely untoward happened after that as I guess they accepted it as fait-accomplis. Since then just one comment got sent in my direction, from my father: "Well, at least you're a Presbyterian atheist!" I kid you not, I would have been in for a bit of a harder time had I converted to Catholicism, though even then I wouldn't have been ostracised as we've got Catholic family we happily see regularly.

I still helped out with particulars for their local church, such as the yearly erecting of the cake and tea tent for the local show each August, though that stopped 2 years ago because they're mostly now too old to hoist 10kg poles and 50kg tarps about and there's no young people left in their church to do the heavy lifting. The average age is now about 70 or so, I think. I get on well with them all, helping them out with technical this and that entirely on the personal level. On the matter of religion not a one has ever once even uttered a peep, not to invite me to services nor even just to ask why I am the way I am.

They (parents included) are the way they are, I am the way I am, and everyone recognises that nothing is ever going to come of conflict so nobody bothers. There's no coldness at all, only recognition of me not ever being one of them. I see no need whatever to get antagonistic towards them. Once the elders go that will be the end of the local parish of the Presbyterian Church of South Australia and I think they know it too. On a personal level I do hope they live long and happy lives insofar as is possible to them and I will of course be sad to hear of people's deaths, but when the time comes (as it will) that they decide there's just too few of them to support their parish then I will just note it silently without sadness and let them sort out what they're going to do.

JJM

Edited by John McVey
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I think that telling people (namely one's parents) that you are an atheist isn't considered as "coming out." The phrase "coming out" usually refers to when a person reveals a difference ( i.e. sexual preference or belief) to a group of their peers. I don't really consider my parents or any family member as "peers" but I still respect them just the same.

That's one of the reasons why I want them to know my belief of not believing because I still respect them and love them entirely. Sure we don't agree on some (ok, a lot) issues but the fact of the matter is that they made me, ME. I would not be ME without them. It wasn't till I got to college until I realized how much they have affected my personality; good and bad, directly and indirectly.

I am really frustrated with American "tradition" right now (I am sure there are a lot of countries that are more enforcing than mine, but there are also a lot that aren't). I feel as if I our country was in a different "state of mind" then I wouldn't have this discomfort. Freedom of religion should also mean freedom from religion.

I don't know...sometimes i really just want to get away from it all. I have always wanted to visit Iceland...

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NOW, I call upon you and ask (if you have a somewhat similar family to mine) "Do your parents know that you are an atheist?" And also, how did you break it to them? I just can't think of there being any way to tell my family with out them shunning me in someway--maybe i should just never tell them...

My parents know. I just told them that I was, and that was that.

It helps that I am Asian, and our culture is not overtly religious. Buddhism and folk religions emphasize "doing good", and not on blind faith and belief in God(s). My mother believes in karma, reincarnation, and hell. My father is more or less agnostic -- that is, he thinks that religion is completely irrelevant to daily life whether higher powers exist.

One thing I do participate in is ancestral worship. I view it as a bonding social ritual and a symbolic sign of honor and respect for my family history, not because I believe that the spirits of my ancestors are watching over me.

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I'm proud to say that I am a born and raised atheist. I've never been inside a single church in my entire life nor have I read a single holy document (to tell you the truth, I don't even know what is in the bible. Is it a book of stories? Or commandments?) All of my family members are also atheists except for my father who is a Hindu and is a hardcore Reagan Republican. My father however, unlike most religious conservatives is very tolerant of atheism (partly because their are atheist sects of Hinduism.)

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I'm proud to say that I am a born and raised atheist. I've never been inside a single church in my entire life nor have I read a single holy document (to tell you the truth, I don't even know what is in the bible. Is it a book of stories? Or commandments?) All of my family members are also atheists except for my father who is a Hindu and is a hardcore Reagan Republican. My father however, unlike most religious conservatives is very tolerant of atheism (partly because their are atheist sects of Hinduism.)

You sir, are a lucky man.

I am going to try and sum up the bible for you in one paragraph(I too have never read it but know enough about it so I will do my best).

Its basically a collection of ancient gibberish about a Jewish, Middle-eastern man.....scratch that. Its about A Jewish, Middle Eastern boy who does some stuff, then it skips the rest of his life and jumps to the part where he is tortured to death because he is apparently a son of god (even though the bible says we are all gods offspring--supposedly :P ). They bury the poor sap and a few days later he returns to life and attacks a nearby village craving human flesh and devouring brains. Ok that last bit was a bit over the top but whatever. Also there was some lady who defied gravity and got pregnant with her hymen intact (virgin!) :confused: . blah blah blah. Oh yeah and there was a boat big enough to carry one family and every single animal in the world. the world was then flooded and everything that was not on the boat vanished forever. EXCEPT those animals native to the wonderful land of australia (i.e. kangaroos, koalas, etc.). They missed the boat but somehow managed to survive. :confused: .. hmmm.... Anyways there are some more fables and whatnot that provide morals on how to live a dull and dreary life that will earn you a golden ticket to an eternity of boredom!!!! but thats the gist of it.

Also, i feel as if i overused the confused smiley face. Note to the Admin: there needs to be a zombie smiley face (please), I mean you got the pirate and ninja already...

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You sir, are a lucky man.

I am going to try and sum up the bible for you in one paragraph(I too have never read it but know enough about it so I will do my best).

Its basically a collection of ancient gibberish about a Jewish, Middle-eastern man.....scratch that. Its about A Jewish, Middle Eastern boy who does some stuff, then it skips the rest of his life and jumps to the part where he is tortured to death because he is apparently a son of god (even though the bible says we are all gods offspring--supposedly :P ). They bury the poor sap and a few days later he returns to life and attacks a nearby village craving human flesh and devouring brains. Ok that last bit was a bit over the top but whatever. Also there was some lady who defied gravity and got pregnant with her hymen intact (virgin!) :confused: . blah blah blah.

That's a not-too-bad summary of the new Testament--except for the bit about the lady who defied gravity. That was a later add on by the Catholic church. (The death of the Virgin Mary was not described in the Bible.)

Oh yeah and there was a boat big enough to carry one family and every single animal in the world. the world was then flooded and everything that was not on the boat vanished forever. EXCEPT those animals native to the wonderful land of australia (i.e. kangaroos, koalas, etc.). They missed the boat but somehow managed to survive. :confused: .. hmmm.... Anyways there are some more fables and whatnot that provide morals on how to live a dull and dreary life that will earn you a golden ticket to an eternity of boredom!!!! but thats the gist of it.

Also, i feel as if i overused the confused smiley face. Note to the Admin: there needs to be a zombie smiley face (please), I mean you got the pirate and ninja already...

That boat part is in Genesis, the first part of the Old Testament. There are a lot more stories in the OT, most of dubious quality. Everything from the creation of the earth to an alleged enslavement and escape from Egypt to conquering of what is today Palestine/Israel. There are also interminable lists of commandments, theistic ramblings, doom and gloom prophecy, and one bit of soft-core porn (Song of Solomon, for those of you who want to properly prioritize your Bible readings :lol: ).

The comic book version (which is by no means respectful) can be found here: www.thebricktestament.com. Actually it's not a comic book but rather is done in legos. (The most hysterically funny parts are the commandments and directives from god; the stories are (mostly) told straight.)

The Bible may be a steaming pile of warthog feces but if you are living in any "Western" country you probably ought to have some basic familiarity with what is in it, simply because it's part of the cultural background we share. (Alas we are saturated in it.) Just don't take it any more seriously than the Greeek myths (also part of our cultural background). I wish I knew of a 100 page synopsis that told the stories in brief (without the mind-numbing repetition, intended as a memory aid to the preliterates who passed it down) and summarized the commandments and theology.

If for some reason you have been "inspired" to read the whole thing, I apologize, but also refer you to http://www.skepticsannotatedbible.com/, where at least you don't have to spend any money and displace any valuable oxygen with a hard copy.

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Here is an exchange I had just yesterday with an believer, yes one of those tolerant, do unto others kinds of believers...

The discussion was centered on the idea that Atheism and Agnosticism should be grouped together as being "non-religious"

HIM: Whereas I see no separation in your two examples.......................I don't believe in God, but I believe in, and practice Religion, and attend church. [not religiously though]

...to each his/her own.

Me:God and religion, especially in the Christian tradition are a real package deal. As far as I know the only religion without a godhead is Buddhism.

HIM: Your interp, not mine..........think outside your hatred for things not Athiestical.

Me: Hatred? Holy shit where did that come from? My atheism is mine. I couldn't care less what anyone else believes or doesn't.

My Mom is a fairly religious woman, do you think I hate her?

Where the fuck does this come from?

He never did respond once I called him out for his misrepresentation.

It amazes me that deists can in one breath claim humility, compassion and respect for all, yadda, yadda, yadda but when you strip off the veneer (and it isn't hard to do) what you find a lot of the time is a shade of the kind of intolerance that has created every religious war since the dawn of civilization. I think a lot of them are only a bomb vest and a cause away from being terrorists.

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