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superj

what is the most beautiful non-physical attribute?

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For me, the most beautiful non-physical attribute a woman can possess would have to be positive self esteem. This incorporates a positive sense of life, intelligence, rationality and honesty. My wife has always had great self esteem, she simply radiates it whether she's laughing and having fun or coolly appraising an unfamiliar situation.

The corollary here is that the most ugly non-physical attribute a woman can have is negative self esteem. If she is negative about herself; constantly seeking validation from others, spiteful and envious; this makes her immensely unattractive.

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There are many non-physical attributes that attract a woman to me, several of which have already been mentioned. In no particular order:

  • Sense of Humor - Love of Laughter
  • Ability to Dance
  • Confidence in her Sexuality
  • Feminine in her Response to Aggressiveness (tied to the above)
  • Good Natured / Kind
  • Loves Children and Animals
  • Aesthetic Sophistication (something I don't have)
  • Thinly Veiled, Compulsive Nymphomania

There are many more, but that's a good start.

--Dan Edge

Great list, Dan. I agree fully. Though given my completely nonexistent dancing ability, I consider an ability to dance to be a non-essential (though entirely welcome) attribute in a woman.

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  • Thinly Veiled, Compulsive Nymphomania

This one is definately NOT on my list.

Mutual value affinity is an absolute must.

“I could not be happy with a man whose taste did not in every point coincide with my own.”

- Marianne from Jane Austen’s Sense and Sensibility

Edited by intellectualammo

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You said a beautiful attribute, not a basic virtue, so I`d say feminity, and perhaps happiness and independence contained in it :

EDIT: Of course these all are methods of sense of life---sense of life is not a personal attribute but the sum of them and the nature of them.

Edited by Tomer Ravid

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This one is definately NOT on my list.

How about, instead of nymphomania, just -- someone who enjoys having sex very, very frequently? Is it frequent sex to which you object, or my (playful) use of that term?

--Dan Edge

Edited by dan_edge

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getting along life fine and having no worries at any problems.

I've never met anyone that meets that description.

To answer the question--intelligence.

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I was originally going to say intuition, which I define as a penchant for abstraction. I make very large leaps from idea to idea, so I need somebody that can keep up.

I've decided that independence is more attractive however. I need symbiosis, not parasitism.

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Curiosity. I love a girl who is curious about the world, about what she can do in it and about all the things that can be accomplished and seen and enjoyed. Curiosity coupled with ambition is simply fantastic to see in a person. I don't need an extreme level of intelligence - I don't mind taking the time to explain myself, and I'm not elitist enough to believe myself inherently better just because I might grasp a concept faster than someone else. I don't need her to share the same ambitions or be the definition of rationally selfish and independent per Objectivism. What I want is someone who has a curiosity and ambition for life, someone who wants to know more, and wants to share more, and wants to do more.

I love the feeling of inspecting something new and getting to know it and hungering for more. I need someone who can share that feeling with me.

Edit: Upon looking back, I find it slightly interesting that I'm the only one who chose curiosity.

Edited by Iudicious

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Edit: Upon looking back, I find it slightly interesting that I'm the only one who chose curiosity.

I did actually, or at least, it's pretty important. Perhaps I didn't simply say curiosity because I usually equate curiosity with intelligence anyway. I mean, to be curious I would think is usually fueled by wanting to understand things well, which also would imply an interest in ideas.

Edited by Eiuol

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Strong standards/self-esteem. I don't like overly sensitive or emotional people, nor do I like couch potatoes and people who intend on doing a whole lot of nothing with their lives. Someone with strong standards won't let themselves get obese, won't fall into mental decay, and just generally won't be put down by anyone or anything. (S)he has to be strong and not allow him/herself to be bested. (S)he has to overcome. A strong person without standards is worthless, and a weak person with standards doesn't have the will to enforce them.

Edited by Snipawolf

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I think this thread could also be titled as, "What's a brief description of your personality?" That is the flipside of the things one finds attractive in another person, physicality included.

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I think that confidence and self esteem are the most appealing things in a human being. I think that if a person have both on a high level, it doesn't really matter how they look like, I'd still find them attractive.

I can't stand people that feel sorry for them-self all the time.

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